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OH HEY NOVEMBER! For whatever reason, this month reminds me of Homeward Bound (maybe because of the heartfelt reunion between man and dog on Thanksgiving?!), so anyways, we are going to sort through this cluster-eff of a weekend with the help of Shadow, Sassy and Chance, yeah? Before we get started, though, there are still likely (and unfortunately) some of you without power, PLUS public transportation is still super limited, so I am going to recycle yesterday’s “things-you-can-do-without-electricity” section, and also will provide you with all the things that are on TV over the next few days that might make being trapped at home (due to lack of transport options) slightly better. HERE WE GO!

THURSDAY

  • We could also head to this Day of the Dead party at the Manhattan Inn, where we can do fun things like get our faces painted and/or drink a million $6 Tecate/shot combos!
  • Or we could somehow transport ourselves to Hoboken for the first of four NYC-area screenings of the Found Footage Festival!
  • But if you can’t get to any of those things, and you DO have power, then here’s what’s happening on TV tonight: NBC’s no-fail 30 Rock block starting at 8pm, Terminator 2 at 8pm on AMC, The Real Housewives of Places South of Here starting at 8pm on Bravo, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on G4.

FRIDAY

  • Oh hey, AEROSMITH is playing a FREE show today for GMA, so if you don’t mind waking up super early, this might be right up your alley! (PS, does anyone else find it eerily coincidental that Aerosmith played such a crucial role in the Armageddon soundtrack and that we are currently experiencing the apocalypse?!)
  • If it was too early for you to get up for that, though, and/or if you are in denial about this being the apocalypse, then you’ll be glad to know that you can catch a later gig at Glasslands around 8:30 tonight. This one features Cultfever, Blonds and Kenji Urada all under one roof for just $10.
  • THEN you can stick around until 11:30 for this free show that’s ALSO at Glasslands, which includes a DJ set by Bear In Heaven.

  • Of course, there’s also always this Grouplove / MS MR show at Terminal 5! The only catch is that you’ll have to have about $30 left over from the hurricane bankruptcy times…
  • Hold the phone, though, ’cause we’re going to this thing called Tragedy: All Metal Tribute to the Bee Gees. (!!!)
  • OR there’s Liquefied: A #RAVE, a FREE rave themed rave featuring hashtags and the best Twin Peaks resoundtrackers of all time, aka Silent Drape Runners! (See also: PLUR PLUR PLUR.)
  • For even more electronic times, head to Webster Hall for a DJ set by Bloody Beetroots.

  • But who wants to listen to music when there are discussions about red velvet cake to be had?! Answer: No one. No one wants to listen to music when they can be talking about and/or eating red velvet cake, SO, please redirect to the Second Annual Red Velvet Cake Debate.
  • We can also head to the Brownfish Short Film Festival, featuring twenty-three short films from five different countries. #CULTURAL.
  • Again, though, if you find yourself #FRANKENTRAPPED w/ power again, here’s what’s on TV: Bring It On on ABC Family starting at 7pm, House on Haunted Hill at 8pm on AMC, back-to-back episodes of Monsters Inside Me at 8pm on Animal Planet, There’s Something About Mary at 8pm on FMC, Boyz N the Hood at 8pm on FUSE, and The Karate Kid at 8pm on FX.

SATURDAY

  • To conquer your hangover today, I vote you pop over to St. Mark’s Church at 10th Street & 2nd Avenue for a variety of different activities, including craft and poetry workshops, musical performances and (most importantly) Mexican food. (Mmmmmm Mexican food.)
  • However, if you want to hone your psychic skills (which CAN apparently be honed…) then head to this workshop.
  • Or, if you’d prefer to hang out with dogs all day (trust me, you would), then swing by the rescheduled date for the 3rd Annual Howl-o-ween Costume Contest and Paw-rade! Literally nothing beats dogs in costume. NOTHING.

  • Except for maybe getting drunk on a boat whilst eating cheese, that is, in which case you might want to consider this Autumnal Beer and Cheese Pairing Cruise, assuming the water’s normal to sail on again…
  • Talking of food, let’s go to this obscenely delicious-sounding Louisiana Saturday Night, where $25 gets you oysters Rockefeller, roasted duck and andouille gumbo, shrimp creole over grits AND banana bread pudding. WHAT THE WHAT?!
  • But if money’s not in the cards for you tonight, then head to this FREE Landlady / Marble Fawn show. Landlady is fantastic, like so much that they made this video of vegetable slaughter!

  • ALTHOUGH, you could also swing by Brooklyn Bowl for Paper Diamond, Morri$ AND a DJ set by The Knocks, all for just $15.
  • And even though some people will tell you Halloween’s over, it’s NOT; you can go on this semi-creepy moonlit walking tour of tombstones and mausoleums. (Can I get a DATE NIGHT?!)
  • But in case you’re feeling antisocial, here’s what’s on TV tonight: Home Alone (in Spanish, though) on Telemundo at 9pm, a Rambo marathon on AMC starting at 1:30pm,  a chick flick marathon on ABC Family starting at 7am (!!!) including Stepmom at 3pm, a new Celebrity Ghost Stories at 9pm on BIO in which Charo is attacked by the ghost of a deranged woman, Apollo 13 at 7pm on Bravo, Over the Hedge at 7pm on Cartoon Network, a Comedy Central movie marathon starting at 8:15am with A Night At the Roxbury and also including Mean Girls at 6:15, a very timely screening of Armageddon at 9pm on FX, Juno at 8pm on Oxygen, Kick-Ass on Spike at 8pm, Practical Magic on Style at 8pm, and Knocked Up on USA at 6:30pm.

SUNDAY

  • One time I fell asleep for 117 plays of “Running Up That Hill,” which is 9.83 hours. In other words, I’m going to seriously recommend that you go to Classic Album Sundays at Bellwether, where they’ll be playing Hounds of Love from beginning to end. (I CAN’T EVEN STAND HOW GOOD THIS IS.)
  • You’re also guaranteed to have an excellent time at tonight’s edition of the Found Footage Festival at Brooklyn Brewery. WINNEBAGO MAN!
  • How about getting crafty, though? This DIY silkscreen course costs $75, but it could be well worth the money if you consider that whole “teach a man to fish” thing…
  • We could also head back to Green-Wood for Guided Magic, in which we’ll be told tales of goddesses, goblins, kings and losers. (I’m looking most forward to the magical losers portion…)

  • But let’s be real; we’re still coming down off all the hurricane drinking, so we’d be much more inclined to hit up this Miss Speed Rack NYC competition, in which female bartenders battle it out TO THE DEATH to reign as cocktail-maker supreme.
  • OR, we could always just hit up the Found Footage Festival instead, which is happening at Brooklyn Brewery tonight for just $14.
  • Then again, maybe we could just find some footage right at home on TV: A League of Their Own at 4pm on ABC Family, another movie marathon on Comedy Central starting at 9:30am w/ Mean Girls at 3:30pm and Hot Tub Time Machine at 7:45pm, a new episode of The Walking Dead at 9pm on AMC, an all day shark movie marathon on Syfy that kicks off with Shark Swarm at 9am, The Hangover at 8pm on TBS, and back-t0-back episodes of a show called EXTREME HOUSEBOATS (!!!) at 8pm on Travel.

Did none of that apply to you, though, because you’re stranded AND without power still? Well 1) I’m very sorry, and 2) here are some things you can do to (possibly) make it (slightly) better in there:

  • So thanks to Sandy you’re #FRANKENTRAPPED in the dark ages, yeah? Well first, I’m not really sure how you’re reading this right now, but regardless, NOT TO FEAR, because here’s what you can do tonight thanks to your survival supplies! For instance, did you fill your bathtub halfway with water? Go bobbing for nonperishables! You won’t be wasting very much water, and you can just dry off aforementioned nonperishables for future use! SO MUCH FUN!
  • After you’re done bobbing, sit in a circle and use your flashlights or candles to pretend you are members of the Midnight Society! Elect someone to hum the Are You Afraid of the Dark theme song, and then commence telling terrifying stories. If you’re really clever, you’ll write some backwards stuff on the walls when no one is looking! #SPOOKYORWHATEVER
  • How about using your flashlights to do some silhouette portraits, though? (WHAT AN UNDERRATED PASTIME!) You can put some paper on the wall to outline the shadow of the subject’s head, OR, if you’re REALLY cool, you can just draw it directly on the wall in PERMANENT MARKER.

  • Everyone knows that reading books is boring, but not if you pretend the text is ALL WRITTEN LIKE THIS! JUST GATHER EVERYONE TOGETHER AND INTERNET-YELL ALOUD TO MAKE ANY BOOK THE BEST EVER! PREFERABLY LITTLE WOMEN OR SOMETHING!
  • You can also construct your own makeshift social media feed by cutting out large strips of paper, handwriting statuses and tweets, and putting them on a table or sticking them to the walls. You can @ the shit out of each other and it will be passive aggressive and great! (Example: @annoyingfriendwhoatealltherations I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ATE ALL THE RATIONS.)
  • Or if you really miss TV, you can draw your favorite scenes from shows and movies and tape them to the screen to pretend you’re watching it for real. I have done this before, and I chose the scene from that Lifetime movie Devil in the Flesh where Rose McGowan beats her grandma to death with a cane!

See? Hurricane Sandy can’t eff up EVERYTHING for us! But if you’re still mad I didn’t include something, then TELL ME in the comments and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC.

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