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This is it, guys. This is officially the kickoff to Halloween insanity over the next week. Hopefully you’ve already got your costumes picked out, but if you’re looking for last minute inspiration in the way of costumes to AVOID, then check out our guide to top cliches for Halloween 2012. No matter what you do, though, there’s still a chance the costume of your dreams might be a flop this weekend, and you will feel really bad about it. BUT, you’ve got another opportunity to redeem yourself with new duds at our Freakin’ Halloween party, which is going down at the Dream Downtown on Wednesday; the musical lineup includes Stalley, Rye Rye, DJ Jasmine Solano and DJ Autorock, and it’s all being hosted by Leo GuGu. PLUS we’ll have all sorts of other crazy stuff, like candy, a ton of things that glow, balloon sculptures etc. So you should probably come. In the meantime, here’s all the stuff happening this weekend to get you geared up about pumpkins or whatever! And if that’s not enough to motivate you to get out and about, here are some Addams Family GIFs to fire you up.

THURSDAY

  • Let’s kick off the weekend with potentially depressing scenarios like this one, where we will go support a good cause while looking at how much better looking and/or successful models are than we can probably ever hope to be!
  • And now that our self-esteems are at an all-time low, let’s migrate to where there’s a high likelihood that we’ll be able to get drunk for free! We can swing by the grand opening of the new PUMA store for DJ Physical Therapy and Ratking, and also (probably) free booze courtesy of sponsors PBR and Stoli!
  • We can ALSO snag some free drinks AND free “goodies” (whatever that means) at The Fourth Annual HallowMEME Costume Party. ERMAHGERD!

  • If you’re more into music than memes, though, then head to 95 Delancey Street for a free lineup, featuring Treasure Fingers and $1 vodka drinks!
  • Or if you’ve got $10 to spare, you should most certainly check out MAGICK: A RITUAL FOR BOB with SILENT DRAPE RUNNERS, who are celebrating one year of existence with even more live resoundtracking of Twin Peaks. The entry fee gets you access to an “open-bar witchy dance party” afterwards, which sounds like just about the best kind of dance party if you ask me.
  • Although, if you just didn’t get enough 2:54 last night, you can catch them AGAIN at Mercury Lounge today.

  • However, I would recommend this Mykki Blanco show at Glasslands, because he, too, earned a super official spot in my Top 5 CMJ performances.
  • You can also catch Milo Greene at Bowery Ballroom tonight, which is great news since the last time I saw them there they were REALLY good.
  • OR you can get a double dose of He’s My Brother, She’s My Sister this week by heading to the Knitting Factory tonight. And you can be all, “HE IS NOT MY BROTHER, SHE IS NOT MY SISTER.”

FRIDAY

  • Nothing says uplifting Halloween quite like a dead celebrity-themed costume ball aboard a yacht, so let’s do that first! According to the flier, the dead celebrities that will join us in the form of cosmic gas include Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse AND Whitney Houston, so that’s pretty cool.
  • If you’re worried about fangirling too hard should the ghost of Michael Jackson appear before you on aforementioned yacht cruise, then maybe just go to this WEPA! party, in which you can celebrate average, everyday dead people instead!
  • “Those last two events are creepy, Megan. I am officially creeped out.” Well, not as creeped out as you will be at NIGHTMARE ALLEY, where they’re screening Nightmare On Elm Street, The Exorcist AND a TBD title.

  • But Al Green‘s always a good (yet expensive) time, so why not check him out at the Capitol Theatre?
  • “BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY, MEGAN.” Oh, right. We’re poor, I forgot. Okay, well, for half the Al Green price we can go see The xx
  • Or for even LESS money, we can go see Saint Etienne for about $30.

SATURDAY

  • Since we are undoubtedly STARVING from last night’s craziness and/or our epic hangovers, I think we should check out Hill Country Chicken’s First Annual State Fair, where we can eat free mini candy apples, mini coffee cakes, cotton candy and lemonade. We can also BUY things like chicken or pies, but who would do that when there’s so many free cavities to be had? Answer: NO ONE. You can also go gold fishing in mason jars for a new pet or smash a pie in someone’s face! Fun!
  • OR we could just go trick our bodies out of a hangover by launching back into the booze ASAP! This open bar situation at Storefront sounds like a pretty solid option, especially since it is both for a good cause and we can participate in a costume contest (about metaphors!) while we drink. MULTI-TASKING! Don’t have the $100 necessary to get in? DON’T WORRY, because they’re giving away a lot of tickets and YOU could win.
  • our friends over @ CHERYL are throwing their annual CHERYLWEEN today (at the Music Hall Of Williamsburg). On top of them BEING AMAZING, their theme is also CHRISTMAS, which, when you think about is the most genius plan anyone had this weekend.
  • “No I couldn’t, Megan. I never win anything.” Not with THAT attitude you don’t! Maybe you just need to boost your costume confidence at this sewing tutorial! They’ll teach you all about how to sew a Halloween costume, with a special focus on how to make you look like a burlesque dancer, aka the most creative Halloween costume of all time.

  • “Burlesque dancer? Pffffffft. That’s not very scary, Megan.” No, but if you want tips on scary, probably go to this house party hosted by strangers dressed as the twins from The Shining! Legally I can’t tell you to go or not go, but I WILL tell you that $10 gets you endless keg beer and snacks; as to whether that keg beer and those snacks will be poisoned or not, only time will tell.
  • If that doesn’t sound like the greatest Halloween party ever, though, then maybe this one (titled “The Greatest Halloween Party Ever”) will. $15 gets you free beer from 8-9pm, and/or $2 “zombie juice” from 1-2am.
  • Everyone knows that dogs in costume are the best EVER, though, so we will probably pay $25 to go watch them at this event, where we’ll also get loaded off too many “Howlini” cocktails!

  • But eff paying for things, and let’s just head over to Gristle Tattoo for Carnival of Terror, where you can have all the free wine, beer and snacks your heart desires! You can also have a free tarot reading, OR you could shell out a cool $31 for a Halloween-themed tattoo, which you will definitely never EVER regret!
  • How about some music, though? For just $5 we can sport our Halloween costumes AND listen to some good tunes at Cameo Gallery for Sweater Beats!
  • For something a little less Halloween-tastic, there’s also this Heartless Bastards show at Irving Plaza.

  • Definitely don’t want to miss Major Lazer at Terminal 5 tonight, either, so make sure you save $25-$35 for that one. See also: SKIP BRUNCH.
  • Or for a slightly different vibe, how about the Indigo Girls? That one’s $40, so again, SKIP BRUNCH.
  • And let’s not forget Aimee Mann, who’s @ Town Hall tonight as well.
  • BUT HOLD THE PHONE, because Ryan effing Cabrera is playing the Knitting Factory tonight, and we are definitely DEFINITELY going.

SUNDAY

  • Once again we are STARVING, so let’s get ready to eat a thousand turkey legs, caramel apples and cocktails from 2-5 at Haven’s Harvest.
  • But did you wake up this morning and have no idea what the eff happened last night? Then maybe it’s time you enrolled in this photography course, which ought to help you create photo documentation of future nights gone drunkenly awry!
  • If that sounds too physically taxing, though, then just roll up at this uplifting-sounding walk through East Village burial grounds! All you have to do is act like your normal hungover self, shuffle around and moan a bit, and you will officially have scared everyone into thinking you’re a real zombie!

  • But what better way to spend your Sunday than with The xx in the Bronx? Answer: NONE. There is no better way, so get your tickets NOW.
  • Although there IS this Brandi Carlile / Blitzen Trapper show at Beacon Theatre that sounds pretty solid, too.
  • Then again, we’re pretty into Swans and Devendra Banhart, so you MIGHT want to head to Bowery Ballroom instead. DECISIONS, DECISIONS!

Did I forget something? Well don’t BOO me off the stage; instead, just tell me about it in the comments and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC!

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