It is Paddy’s Day Weekend! Harrowing times are ahead! If you’re not doing what I’m doing (aka hunkering down forever, but also briefly breaking your more or less plant-based diet to eat a corned beef sandwich out of tradition and watching The Young Offenders, aka our GIF theme) then rest semi-assured that there are non-green-beer things to keep you occupied! These include egg cream labs, about 800 dance parties and even a witchcraft crash course! Before we get into all those #DETAILS, let’s talk about all the things you might’ve missed this week while being disappointed in Aunt Becky’s bad decisions!

We’ve got LESS THAN A WEEK until Death Becomes Us, our true crime festival, kicks off here in NYC! Amanda Knox! Damien Echols! Paul Holes! ALL OF THE MURDERY GOOD TIMES! Grab tickets while you can here.
Speaking of which, when you DO buy tickets and are heading to the venues, be sure to pour one out for Warhol and Solanas!
Plus Kaylee Dugan talked all things Disgraceland podcast w/ Jake Brennan!
In non-true crime news, I had a chat to the one and only Talos on Aurora’s tour bus before his Brooklyn Steel set last week! (We talked a lot about death, as you naturally do!)
AND I GOT TO GO BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE MET OPERA AND IT WAS BASICALLY THE MOST MAGICAL EXPERIENCE OF MY WHOLE LIFE!

Thursday, March 14

For starters, sorry to wreck (slash potentially enrich) your life, but there is an adult dog adoption event happening tonight! ($50 adoption fee!)
It’s ALSO National Egg Cream Day tomorrow, so pop on by the Museum at Eldridge Street for all things egg cream TODAY! Tickets are $10.
In terms of comedy vibes, get to Union Hall for a new round of Stand By Your Band Live! It’s a class lineup ft. Josh Gondelman, Shalewa Sharpe, Mary Houlihan, Nick Naney and MORE, and tickets are $10 a pop.
Starving? Eat meat? Really love timballo? Then grab a $30 ticket to Archestratus’ three-course meal this evening, duh!

For tunes, hit up Music Hall of Williamsburg for a $30 show from Teenage Fanclub and The Love Language!
Meanwhile, Hearing Things, Shilpa Ray and Night Sax will be at Nublu for $15!
Just wanna cut a rug? Get to House of Yes for a Beyonce edition of Dirty Thursday! (Totally free!)
But if your MO is to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race tonight, you can catch a FREE screening over at Syndicated!

Friday, March 15

First, go snag some free beer at McNally Jackson for McSweeney’s 55 Release Party!
For LOLs, Union Hall has you covered with TWO shows – the first is the latest round of Pop Show w/ Ziwe Fumudoh (tickets are $8-$10), and the second is Lo-Fi NYC ft. Karen Chee, Rachel Pegram and more (also $8-$10)!
Wanna support the queer community? Head to Bluestockings for Foster’s Home for Non-Imaginary Queers, presented by the Ali Forney Center Theatre Troupe! RSVP here.

In terms of tunes, I’m not SUPER hype on much in the way of live gigs tonight, but you can get into the St. Patrick’s Day spirit early over at Symphony Space! It’s the 7th Annual Celtic Appalachian Celebration, and tickets are $25+.
If you just wanna d-d-d-d-dance, then definitely hit up C’mon Everybody for a new round of Everybody, Everybody (an 80s, 90s and 00s party)! Tickets are just $5 each.
Plus it’s a new round of Take Me Out (the 2000s disco punk night) at the Knitting Factory, which is (as always) free w/ RSVP!
You can also hit up Otto’s Shrunken Head if ska vibes are more in your dance party wheelhouse…
…or if postpunk/synth/electronic/punk/gothic jams are your thing, get to Saint Vitus for UNDERWORLD! Free w/ RSVP!

Saturday, March 16

First, you can certainly catch the St. Patrick’s Day Parade today, but please know that I (and most other sane people) will be avoiding it (and Manhattan, esp. Murray Hill) like the plague in general today!
Let’s move straight on into tunes! You can pop over to Alphaville for an $8-$10 show from Julia Caesar, Ellen Siberian Tiger and Verdigrls tonight!
Of course, if you’ve got $44+ and a heart full o’ nostalgia, you can see Guster at Beacon Theatre…
…or dial it back with a $25 show from Lucy Wainwright Roche at City Vineyard!

I’ve also been a Balun fan for a while now, but the main reason I’m sending you to catch their $12 headliner gig at Elsewhere tonight is that STEFA* is opening. Homegirl is A FORCE, slash 10/10 would recommend catching her live.
(You should also pause for dinner at Mission Chinese before bopping back over for a late-night Classixx DJ set ft. bonus Nancy Whang b2b Justin Miller and MORE! Tickets are $15-$25.)
If you’re into burlesque, then probably get to Littlefield for a $15-$30 St. Patrick’s Day spectacular ft. all redheads!
(Plus stick around for a new round of Be Cute, aka America’s favorite queer dance party, afterwards! Tickets are $10 each.)
More interested in channeling the occult? Head to Catland for a $10 Witchcraft 101 course!

Sunday, March 17

For starters, catch a tribute to Dexys Midnight Runners (ft. Ted Leo!!!) tonight at the Bell House! Tickets are $15.
You can also hit up Sony Hall for Bob The Drag Queen + Monét X Change: Sibling Rivalry LIVE! Tickets are $30-$50 each.
And while I am by no means an advocate for Catholic Mass (I was raised Catholic and am allowed to say this), you can swing by Basilica of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral to catch Ireland’s Broadford Youth Choir singing today! (They’re all the way from Limerick, y’all! Free! Don’t you put a cent into that collection basket! I am actually very serious about that!)

If you’re lookin’ for LOLs, head on over to Union Hall for Small Talk w/ Jo Firestone ft. Julio Torres, Questlove and MORE! Tickets are $7-$10 a pop.
In terms of film, it’s the inaugural Black Women’s Film Conference at MoMA PS1! Tickets are $15 each // grab ’em before they’re all sold out!
Or if you’re more into marathon readings, get to one dedicated to Theresa Hak Kyung Cha’s avant-garde classic, Dictee! Free w/ RSVP!