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It is Paddy’s Day Weekend! Harrowing times are ahead! If you’re not doing what I’m doing (aka hunkering down forever, but also briefly breaking your more or less plant-based diet to eat a corned beef sandwich out of tradition and watching The Young Offenders, aka our GIF theme) then rest semi-assured that there are non-green-beer things to keep you occupied! These include egg cream labs, about 800 dance parties and even a witchcraft crash course! Before we get into all those #DETAILS, let’s talk about all the things you might’ve missed this week while being disappointed in Aunt Becky’s bad decisions!

Thursday, March 14

  • For starters, sorry to wreck (slash potentially enrich) your life, but there is an adult dog adoption event happening tonight! ($50 adoption fee!)
  • It’s ALSO National Egg Cream Day tomorrow, so pop on by the Museum at Eldridge Street for all things egg cream TODAY! Tickets are $10.
  • In terms of comedy vibes, get to Union Hall for a new round of Stand By Your Band Live! It’s a class lineup ft. Josh Gondelman, Shalewa Sharpe, Mary Houlihan, Nick Naney and MORE, and tickets are $10 a pop.
  • Starving? Eat meat? Really love timballo? Then grab a $30 ticket to Archestratus’ three-course meal this evening, duh!

Friday, March 15

  • In terms of tunes, I’m not SUPER hype on much in the way of live gigs tonight, but you can get into the St. Patrick’s Day spirit early over at Symphony Space! It’s the 7th Annual Celtic Appalachian Celebration, and tickets are $25+.
  • If you just wanna d-d-d-d-dance, then definitely hit up C’mon Everybody for a new round of Everybody, Everybody (an 80s, 90s and 00s party)! Tickets are just $5 each.
  • Plus it’s a new round of Take Me Out (the 2000s disco punk night) at the Knitting Factory, which is (as always) free w/ RSVP!
  • You can also hit up Otto’s Shrunken Head if ska vibes are more in your dance party wheelhouse…
  • …or if postpunk/synth/electronic/punk/gothic jams are your thing, get to Saint Vitus for UNDERWORLD! Free w/ RSVP!

Saturday, March 16

  • First, you can certainly catch the St. Patrick’s Day Parade today, but please know that I (and most other sane people) will be avoiding it (and Manhattan, esp. Murray Hill) like the plague in general today!
  • Let’s move straight on into tunes! You can pop over to Alphaville for an $8-$10 show from Julia Caesar, Ellen Siberian Tiger and Verdigrls tonight!
  • Of course, if you’ve got $44+ and a heart full o’ nostalgia, you can see Guster at Beacon Theatre…
  • …or dial it back with a $25 show from Lucy Wainwright Roche at City Vineyard!

  • I’ve also been a Balun fan for a while now, but the main reason I’m sending you to catch their $12 headliner gig at Elsewhere tonight is that STEFA* is opening. Homegirl is A FORCE, slash 10/10 would recommend catching her live.
  • (You should also pause for dinner at Mission Chinese before bopping back over for a late-night Classixx DJ set ft. bonus Nancy Whang b2b Justin Miller and MORE! Tickets are $15-$25.)
  • If you’re into burlesque, then probably get to Littlefield for a $15-$30 St. Patrick’s Day spectacular ft. all redheads!
  • (Plus stick around for a new round of Be Cute, aka America’s favorite queer dance party, afterwards! Tickets are $10 each.)
  • More interested in channeling the occult? Head to Catland for a $10 Witchcraft 101 course!

Sunday, March 17

  • If you’re lookin’ for LOLs, head on over to Union Hall for Small Talk w/ Jo Firestone ft. Julio Torres, Questlove and MORE! Tickets are $7-$10 a pop.
  • In terms of film, it’s the inaugural Black Women’s Film Conference at MoMA PS1! Tickets are $15 each // grab ’em before they’re all sold out!
  • Or if you’re more into marathon readings, get to one dedicated to Theresa Hak Kyung Cha’s avant-garde classic, Dictee! Free w/ RSVP!