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HAPPY NYCC, EVERYONE! If you just said to yourself, “What is NYCC?” then CLEARLY you are not aware that it is Comic-Con weekend here in New York. But I forgive you, because I have never been to Comic-Con before. UNTIL NOW, ANYWAY. I will be embarking on this weekend-long spiritual journey with Stephanie, who has been to roughly seven hundred Comic-Cons in her lifetime and knows what she’s doing. The first time I heard about Comic-Con was when Seth Cohen told me about it on The OC one time, right before Marissa Cooper popped like sixty-seven pills in Tijuana to cope with her parents’ divorce or something. In honor of that (Marissa popping the pills, not Seth Cohen cluing me in on Comic-Con) the GIF theme for today will be THE OC! And now I will tell all you non-NYCC ticket-holders what you should do with the next ninety-six hours of your lives. Are you ready? Set? GO!

THURSDAY

  • While we’re still in work mode, let’s get the most boring thing on tonight’s menu OUT OF THE WAY. And what might that be? THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, DUH! I vote we go get drunk at the Bell House and watch the event on a big screen (mostly because I don’t have a TV) and tweet fun, funny, smart-people things all the while!
  • But who are we kidding, VP’s are TOTALLY LAME, and we could care less about what they have to say. Instead, let’s go enjoy complimentary cocktails and a wide selection of wallet-friendly vintage vinyl at The Meat Market.
  • For even MORE (presumably) free booze and music, head to Dru Cutler’s video release party at 186 Bedford Avenue! There will also allegedly be food afoot, so you’ll have something to line your stomach as you booze it up. BONUS!
  • Now that we’re so full of free food and alcohol, we’ll be all set to sway around at this Martha Wainwright show at Le Poisson Rouge.
  • Or, provided we work up a round two appetite from all that swaying, we can stick around LPR for Yum’s the Word for stories and ICE CREAM CAKE. Seriously can’t lose in that scenario, unless of course you’re lactose-intolerant.

  • OR we could STILL stick around LPR for what is the most amazing, incredible event of all time, also known as Macaulay Culkin’s iPod Hogan Halloween: 1 Year Anniversary. It is pretty much everything it sounds like it might be, plus SO MUCH MORE. AND if you dress up like Hulk Hogan, Macaulay will give you a hand-crafted button in return. NOT TOO SHABBY.
  • Remember when I said that last thing was the most amazing, incredible event of all time? Well, it is, but THIS one comes a close second. Michael Hearst will teach us all about some really effing weird animals at Book Court for FREE. And it will be good.
  • But if you’d prefer to get back into a musical groove, then STOP GIVING THE RUN-AROUND and go see Blues Traveler for nostalgia.
  • OR if you’re running low on pocket money at this point, NO WORRIES; you can catch this Van She Tech set featuring Luke Jenner (The Rapture) for zero dollars provided you RSVP.
  • But then again, it’s complete understandable if you want to hit up this Menomena show instead. What a fun name, by the way. Menomena.
  • You could also always just come hang out with me at this SBTRKT show, where I will try my best to request ‘Ready Set Loop’ on LOOP.

FRIDAY

  • Let’s kick tonight off the RIGHT way by discussing psychedelic drugs at the sixth annual Horizons: Perspectives on Psychedelics conference! This year’s dialogue will focus heavily on crowd favorites MDMA and magical mushrooms, discussing how they are useful in treating certain medical conditions like PTSD. (PS, the point of contact’s email is [email protected]…YAY CAKE!)
  • Or rather than theorize about drug use, let’s just go theorize about what’d happen if a friend left us in charge of a bag for a WHOLE NIGHT without telling us what was inside! I already know I would open it, it’s just a matter of when, but we can find out what OTHER people would do at this screening of debut feature film SHEER.
  • Although admiring creative works isn’t as fun as participating in them, so I vote we head to the Glasshouse to take part in this 24 hour art and music experiment. The description is pretty vague, but who cares? IT’S FOR ART.

  • “No, Megan, I’m pretty okay with other people making the music for me.” Good, me too. #LAZY. So let’s go check out Menomena AGAIN tonight at Music Hall of Williamsburg!
  • Or since we obviously didn’t get enough Fiona Apple when she performed Wednesday, let’s head to the Wellmont Theatre for even more musical magic.
  • We could also go for the less expensive female vocalist option; for example, have you hopped on the Emily Wells bandwagon? Well WE have, so I’m going to vote you check her out w/ Dark Dark Dark at the Knitting Factory tonight.

SATURDAY

  • Are you SO hungover and in need of food and/or handicrafts? OBVIOUSLY. So I’m going to point you in the general direction of Gowanus, where you’ll find the Gowanus Girls Indie Design + Food Mart! (There are even promises of sangria to help you start the day off on the right foot…)
  • Let’s make the most of our trip to Gowanus by popping over to the Gowanus Open Studios, where we’ll find plenty of reasons to feel inadequate about our lack of artistic creativity! (Also, did you guys just imagine what “popping over” would look like in reality?!)
  • We’ll continue feeling inadequate on this art tour, which covers Lower East Side galleries. (Think End of Century will be included? Hope so. HI CHANTAL!)

  • To lift our spirits a bit, let’s go to this highly uplifting, mildly creepy Cuddle Party, where we will cuddle strangers in a platonic way. #WEIRDKINDOF
  • After all that weird cuddling, though, I bet we’ll need a drink. Rather than dive headfirst into a keg of beer, let’s go learn more about our ancestors’ drinking habits on this Tour of 19th Century Drinking!
  • We could also stick around the past at this Great Gatsby Party, where we’re encouraged to dress in 1920s apparel for maximum swing dancing capabilities. There are quite a few spelling errors on the flier, but I still trust this will be a great party. I mean, who can keep the words “bringing” and “brining” straight in the first place? “Well, since brining is the act of soaking a food item (usually meat) in brine, I can typically keep those two very different words straight, Megan.” GOOD FOR YOU!

  • That brainiac intellect of yours won’t help you when the world ends, though, now will it? DIDN’T THINK SO, and neither does anyone at this event titled “The Last Laugh: Embracing the End of the World.” And as this free event features 20+ artists, I think we’re in for a great, uplifting time!
  • Okay, okay, I know that wasn’t actually uplifting. BUT, this Cranberry Street Festival you’ll find plenty of distractions to take your mind of the impending doom of the apocalypse. For instance, key words of interest on the flier include: “Treasures, Fire Engine, Voting Registration.” Amazing, right?! But even if THOSE didn’t sell you, the pet parade sure will!

  • Or if THAT festival didn’t sound appealing, maybe THIS one will; the Public Theater Block Party (while technically not a festival) has lots of great things like live music, calories in food-truck-form, something called pizza popcorn, etc. AND IT’S FREE.
  • Did I have you at “live music” on that one? Well HOLD THE (Zack Morris) PHONE, GUYS. Blues Traveler is playing AGAIN tonight, but THIS TIME it’s with the effing SPIN DOCTORS. We can’t not go to this. We just can’t not.
  • Or how about our favorite weirdos Tilly and the Wall? It’ll only set you back $16 to see them, so you really have no excuse.
  • I’m also ALL about this Matias Aguayo show at Cameo Gallery tonight. Slightly more expensive than the last thing, but only by $4!
  • We’ve ALSO got Van She and Plastic Plates at Tammany Hall, and so if you feel like going to that and/or hanging out with me, please feel free to swing by. See also: SEE YOU THERE.

SUNDAY

  • First things first. We need CAFFEINE and lots of it, so let’s head to this Coffee Appreciation Class, where I assume we will learn how to appreciate coffee, and/or drink it.
  • Or maybe we’ve just got a bad case of the hangover hungries, in which case we should combat overeating and instead lose our appetites entirely at this Sustainable Whole Animal Butchering class at Fleishers.
  • “No way! Bring on the calories, Megan!” FINE. Let’s go to this Sinful Fall Feast, where we’ll drink unlimited beer and eat an eff ton of food. “What kind of food, Megan?” ALL KINDS, though I’m most excited for the dessert, which is a butterscotch pretzel sandwich with pumpkin ice cream. WHAT UP, DELICIOUS!

  • “I don’t have $75, Megan.” ME NEITHER! What about $50, though? If you’ve got $50 we can still get a pretty amazing meal courtesy of the Queens Farm Oktoberfest Dinner, featuring BBQ, Brooklyn Brewery beer, hot cider and Mast Brothers chocolate. As Rachael Ray would say, YUM-O or something.
  • Not “exotic” enough for you? Well, you can also try out food from the Democratic Republic of the Congo; it’s only $15 for the meal, PLUS it’s a BYOB situation. THANKS, DR CONGO!
  • Now that we’ve consumed all those calories, let’s go surf them off at this workshop; we can go showcase our knowledge of the sport after having learned SO MUCH from Blue Crush! PLUS there’s an open bar situation, which has YES written all over it.

PHEW! That was crazy! Almost as crazy as when Marissa Cooper shot Trey Atwood and Imogen Heap was all MMMMMWHATCHA SAY. Speaking of which, mmmmm what do you say? Did I forget anything? If so, PUT THE GUN DOWN and just tell me in the comments and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC.

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