WELCOME TO MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND, EVERYONE! (I will accept gifts in the form of avocados and also promises to vote Bernie Sanders, PS!) I have made an executive decision that we will skip GIFs this week and instead look at pictures of me before I was old, because I am the digital boss of you! (You are very welcome!) But FIRST, let’s talk about some stuff you may have missed on BYT this week:

  • First, you should obviously buy $15 tickets to Tinder Live w/ Lane Moore at the Bell House because it is the greatest show on earth!
  • Music-wise, take your time @ happy hour, ’cause paris_monster and SKYES are set to start things off at Mercury Lounge at the very leisurely time of 9:30pm for $10.
  • MEANWHILE, Cass McCombs is going to be playing Bowery Ballroom for eighteen bones at 9pm.
  • But I would like to vote we hit up Manhattan Inn for Hypnocraft’s presentation of Holly Miranda and Ambrosia Parsley for a suggested donation of just $5-$10!
  • Comedy-wise, Jermaine Fowler is dishin’ out the LOLs at Union Hall for just $8!
  • And for even cheaper laughs, head to UCB East for tonight’s LASERS IN THE JUNGLE ft. Liza Treyger and MORE for $5. (AND if you stick around for Fresh Out for another mere $5, you can catch a double dose of Liza Treyger!)

222364_507957861496_96_n(Taken in outer space around 1992 during my child astronaut days.)

  • Or if you fork over $10, you get a free drank with your ticket to Loose (hosted by Jo Firestone and featuring Vanessa Bayer, Michelle Buteau and MORE) at Housing Works!
  • You can also go learn about the history of the leopard print (classiest of patterns) at Morbid Anatomy for $10!
  • Or maybe you fuckin’ love Rocco DiSpirito, in which case you’ll want to hit up 92Y with $32 to see him in conversation with Stacy London!
  • But maybe you should just message that Tinder match of yours to be all “Wanna go see a Buñuel tonight at Videology?” and you’ll sound like a goddamn Dumbledore and he/she will love you forever and you’ll ride off into the $12 Tristana sunset together!
  • OR you could wow him/her with a screening of Anomalisa at Sunshine Cinema tonight where voice actor Tom Noonan will be in-person for a Q+A!
  • But there is also always the option of dancing your face off and eating all of the cupcakes at 1-800-NEWYEARWHODIS at The Woods! (Temptation island over here LOL!)

282902_689861629886_44882954_n(A snapshot of a normal childhood with a normal pet bird of prey.)

Screenshot 2014-08-19 at 11f

424629_669489765266_675092621_n(Taken my freshman year of college during a sorority theme party!)

  • But if you’re going the DJ route, you may as well grab those jams FREE at the Grand Vic for Indie Disco, yeah?
  • Or if you fucked up your New Year’s Eve celebration and want a do-over, head to Alphaville for exactly that for $5-$10 suggested donation! (There will be tunes, countdowns and a melon drop! Hooray!)
  • Personally I feel like you should skip out on the music and focus on getting to a midnight screening of My Neighbor Totoro at IFC instead, because it is the greatest.
  • (Or like, you could also go see a midnight screening of Dark Crystal at Sunshine Cinema, whatever you prefer.)

1958113_799520352926_6746974985930724974_n(Same hairstyle in 2016!)

Screenshot 2014-10-16 at 10ss

  • Welcome to the 28th year of my life! Celebrate by hitting up an ermine taxidermy class for $200 at Morbid Anatomy, probably!
  • You can also get morbid at the opening reception of Suspended Forest, which is a forest of discarded Christmas trees! (RIP conifers!)
  • Or just roll out of bed and into a dark movie theater for a screening of Georgy Girl, ’cause Charlotte Rampling is a TOTAL BABE DOT COM.
  • Def-o hit up Mercury Lounge tonight for a dose of Honduras and The Beverlys for just $10!

10801750_853259105036_4227453840697395434_n(A look I adapted from fellow 1988 baby Maison Margiela entitled “cantaloupe casual”.)

  • ALSO just ten bucks tonight is the Can’t Tells and Imaginary People gig at Rough Trade! SUCH VALUE!
  • Or if you couldn’t get enough of Rubblebucket last night, then you should head to Brooklyn Bowl for ROUND TWO this evening for another $20.
  • Plus there’s an Oh My Rockness-presented showcase of Hardest Working Bands over at Baby’s All Right tonight ft. Surf Rock Is Dead + Acid Dad for $12 in advance // $15 day of show.
  • More into queer-friendly dance parties? Hit up Littlefield for the latest edition of Be Cute for just $5!

1928842_507957876466_6959_nSelf-portrait age 5 “It would be cool with dinosaurs living.” (No, it would not.)

Screenshot 2014-10-16 at 10j

  • Maybe you feel like making something today, in which case maybe that something could be an anthropomorphic mouse via taxidermy at Morbid Anatomy for $120!
  • Or if that sounds too ambitious and/or creepy, hit up the Film Forum bright ‘n early at 11am for a screening of Yellow Submarine!
  • The only thing you need to worry about music-wise tonight is the Lou Reed tribute gig at Manhattan Inn ft. Mirah, Sinkane, Invisible Familiars and MORE! Tickets are only $14!
  • In the comedy realm, you can pop over to the Bell House for Liam McEneaney’s album recording ft. special guests like Dave Hill for $8 in advance // $10 at the door.

11107727_895458537036_1972847764860445006_n#IDFWU DOT COM

  • Plus tonight’s edition of If You Build It at UCB East features Mike Drucker and others for just $5 // #VALUE!
  • OR hit up tonight’s edition of Muppet Vault (the Star Wars edition) at Union Hall for just $8!
  • Or like, just be hungover all day long and eventually emerge to go watch the Golden Globes unfold at Videology // YOU DO YOU.
  • (Slash don’t even bother to put on trousers ’cause it’s the No Pants Subway Ride starting at 3pm.)

216951_669498013736_1185260713_nBYE FELICIA!