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This week’s edition of NYC Best Weekend Bets is going to capitalize on the fact that there’s a free screening of Wet Hot American Summer at Brooklyn Bridge Park on Thursday. See also: I really hope everyone is ready for lots and lots of GIFs. Similarly, I hope everyone is ready for lots and lots of fantastically amazing events, because that (plus a hangover) is exactly what you’ll get this weekend! A little something for everyone, really, from FREE DRINKS to film festivals to the Mad Decent Block Party to accordion wrestling to Danny Tamberelli…I could go on and on. Slash I WILL go on and on starting…NOW!

Thursday, aka FREE DRINKS!

  • Because you worked up an appetite using your brain to devise sneaky ways of checking your Facebook at work today, we vote you grab a bite to eat at City Grit courtesy Top Chef Season 9 winner Paul Qui! Paul is my favourite even though one time I met runner-up Sarah and told her in my alcohol-induced euphoria that I thought she deserved to win. It was a lie, and I’m sorry.
  • Maybe you’re not hungry-hungry, but you have an insatiable appetite for all things Ryan Gosling. If that’s the case, you should go to Hey Girl: Release of Feminist Ryan Gosling the Book at the Housing Works Bookstore (126 Crosby St.) As if that weren’t enticing enough, you can enjoy FREE DRINKS courtesy of Tumblr, which is just further evidence that they are out to destroy the world’s productivity by any means possible.

  • Hey, now that we’ve mentioned “free drinks” once, let’s mention it about a hundred more times, yes? First off, House of Vans is back, this time featuring free performances by Washed Out / Chairlift / Lemonade AND, you guessed it, FREE DRINKS. So if you wake up tomorrow with bruises on your knees, just know that it was because you fell down the concrete stairs where you have to get aforementioned free drinks, not because Chairlift sang about it.
  • Another free music event can be found at the Hudson Terrace tonight, where Com Truise and Them Jeans will be putting on a show just for you (and everyone else…) PLUS, more FREE DRINKS from 10-11pm! DREAMS REALLY DO COM TRUISE.
  • In case you missed the last two, VICE is putting on yet another Summer Fling party at Westway to showcase their “People Who Just Had Sex” series. And in case you DIDN’T miss the last two, perhaps losing your dignity someplace in-between, just keep your chin up and your eyes on that boozy prize I like to call FREE DRINKS from 10:30-11:30.
  • Okay that’s enough free drinks for you, you’re cut off. (From the drinks part, I mean. Not from the free part.)

  • Fill the free drink void and head to Brooklyn Bridge Park for a free screening of Wet Hot American Summer, aka one of the greatest movies ever ever EVER.
  • Continue the laughter at this UCB comedy show, where for just $5 you can watch Janeane Garofalo, Adam Newman (John Oliver’s New York Standup Show), Harrison Greenbaum, Kevin Avery, Gabe Pacheco, JC Coccoli, & RG Daniels do standup routines for a good cause; all proceeds will go toward helping to pay off the medical bills of Colorado comic Caleb Medley, a victim of the Aurora movie theater massacre. Can’t make it but still want to donate? Go here.
  • Head to Living Room for the musical stylings of Sara Watkins and Meiko, or stop by Webster Hall for this event by Balcony TV Brooklyn. If you happen to be in Williamsburg drop into Brooklyn Bowl, where for a mere $5 you can attend Biz Markie’s DJ Set. You’ll also be able to catch Sponge there, whose opening act Jounce includes Mr. Danny Tamberelli. (You know, of The Adventures of Pete & Pete and The Babysitters Club and The Mighty Ducks and MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD. The Secret Slime Action is GO TO THIS SHOW.)

Friday, which I have renamed “Music Day” for (hopefully) obvious reasons.

  • To kick off today’s barrage of music-related events (and because you will obviously need fancy sustenance before embarking on additional musical adventures) you might want to check out Brie, Camembert & the Bloomy Rind, which, despite sounding like a band name, is just a poetic way of saying “cheese tasting.”
  • Now that you’ve spent a lot of money to fill your face with cheese, you’re probably not going to want to spend a lot of money for the rest of the night, right? Well, good news! Wild Flag / Mission of Burma / Ted Leo are putting on a free show at the Prospect Park Bandshell.
  • Planning to stick around in Brooklyn? Check out Blood Diamonds w/ Leif and Gobby at Glasslands; while it’s not technically a free show, you can certainly abuse the free vodka from 11:30-12:30, and then you probably won’t even remember what money is. See also: LESS PROBLEMS.
  • If you are one of those people who is secretly afraid of Brooklyn, don’t worry, there are plenty of things to listen to in Manhattan tonight! For instance, at Webster Hall we’ve got Girls & Boys ft. RJD2, Alex English, rekLES and more, all available to you for the low price of $5 with an RSVP. Or, if you’re feeling brave, you can slowly conquer your borough phobia by edging ever-so-slightly closer to BK; go to Mercury Lounge for the Zeus / ARMS show and/or Cultfever / Wildlife Control and you’ll practically be over the Williamsburg Bridge!

  • Even if you’re not afraid to leave Manhattan, you might want to stay just for this really weird thing called Accordion Wrestling, which is apparently an old Finnish tradition? Don’t worry, no accordions will be wrestled; instead, people will wrestle to accordion music, which is infinitely better! This is a FREE event at Lincoln Center, so you really have no excuse not to attend. See you there!
  • How about musicals? Do you enjoy those? Well then let’s take a gander at 2010: Our Hideous Future: The Musical! which is described as “an original cyberpunk musical.” PHEW! After all those unoriginal cyberpunk musicals, this is a breath of fresh air! But in all comedic seriousness, this is apparently hilarious and awesome and you should pay $10 to go. Also an apparently hilarious musical? Snow White and Cinderella F***ing Rage, in which the REAL Snow White and Cinderella join forces to try and find a happy ending or something. Just $5!
  • What? None of those music-related events sounded good to you? Well maybe you’re more into amazingly fantastic visuals, in which case you should go to the Museum of the Moving Image for a screening of Baraka, part of the Rural Route Film Festival. The opportunity to see this film on a screen that is 1) not your computer, and also 2) not located in your shitty apartment, is like, the most incredible thing ever, and basically you have no choice but to definitely go. Afterward, we encourage you to corner anyone and everyone to tell them about how amazing the world is.

SATURDAY, KING OF DAYS.

  • I don’t know about you, but when I wake up on a Saturday, my first thought is: WATER. However, my brain doesn’t always specify what kind of water, or where, so there’s a very real chance I will end up at the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival in Flushing today, purely by accident! It’s okay, though, because aside from watching boats move very fast, this free event will likely provide me with traditional Chinese medicine (aka about six thousand rice dumplings) to vanquish my hangover.

  • If you don’t wander to Flushing but are still awake and ready to have adventure times this morning, then head to the Frederick Douglass Playground (corner of 101 St. & Amsterdam Ave) for the Beastie Boys Walking Tour. This free excursion is part of a day-long celebration of the Beastie Boys and of Adam Yauch, hence it’s taking place on the eve of his birthday. Definitely worth checking out regardless of whether you’re a diehard fan or just a regular one.
  • Have you always wanted to go thrifting and just didn’t know how or where or why? Then this Thrift and the City Shopping Tour might answer some (if not all) of your questions; a $25 ticket buys you a guided tour of five thrift and vintage venues in Manhattan. Personally I recommend putting that money towards an unguided tour of Urban Jungle, but again, maybe you are one of those secretly-afraid-of-Brooklyn people…
  • Hey, speaking of Brooklyn, tonight’s the opening night of the Art of Brooklyn Film Festival! To get the most bang for your buck, spend $45 on an all-access pass; this scores you admission to all the premieres, parties, panels, other words that begin with ‘P’…you get the idea. You can also try your best to look like Steven Seagal for the chance to win a FREE VIP PASS. Check out Hotel Le Bleu tonight for the opening party, which is free with the all-access pass, or $25 without. Regardless, you’ll be sipping a free cocktail on a rooftop, so that’s pretty great.

  • Have you always wanted to tour the NYC Marble Cemetery but, because the gates were locked, reluctantly accepted the fact that you’re doomed to spend your days among the living? Well today is the luckiest of days, because they are opening their doors to non-dead people!
  • If you’re more into dinosaur bones than human ones, then this screening of Jurassic Park at the Film Forum is a no-brainer. Or if it’s not a no-brainer, just imagine Jeff Goldblum saying, “When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.” See also: YA GOTTA GO.

Sunday, in which there are so many opportunities to walk off all the alcohol and cheese fries you consumed last night, and/or gain them back times two.

  • I promised you walking, and so walking you will get! Like, for instance, if you want to walk AND gain a deeper understanding of the magic of bipedalism (clearly you do), then check out Walk On, an interactive walking experience led by Matthew Radune.
  • Maybe instead of burning off the weekend calories you’d prefer just to break even, in which case you should check out the LES Nosh & Stroll. Personally I excel at scavenging for snacks sans tour guide, but apparently you’ll also learn some enlightening information on the history of the Lower East Side as you stuff your face. Filling your brain AND your stomach. Smart.
  • And for one more chance to pay around $20 to learn things while walking, there’s also this Art Deco in the Fabulous Fifties walking tour organized by MAS. Architectural Historian/author Tony Robins will lead the event, taking you to the GE Building, the Waldorf-Astoria AND Rockefeller Center. The info page doesn’t say dressing in fifties attire is required or encouraged, but we’d like to think they just forgot to mention it. If you end up being the only one in costume, don’t feel bad! Just convince everyone you’re the ghost of Art Deco past and punctuate all Mr. Robins’ pauses with spooky sounds.

  • Speaking of ghosts, find out if you’ve got any spiritual voicemails from beyond at the Hilton Long Island! Psychics Kim Russo (The Happy Medium from Psychic Kids on A&E) and Theresa Caputo (TLC’s The Long Island Medium) will be doing a group reading for a cancer treatment fundraiser.
  • There’s also this little-known event called the Mad Decent Block Party today. If you’ve somehow already heard of it, you don’t need me to tell you it’s going to be 1) free, 2) filled with performances by musical geniuses like Major Lazer, Erol Alkan, and so many more, and 3) TOTALLY AWESOME. This runs from noon ‘til 10pm, plus the super official after party will take place @ Williamsburg Music Hall. GO GO GO FOR A TIME THAT IS BOTH MAD AND DECENT.

  • Can you say “Baywatch Beachwear” ten times fast? I can only imagine it will become increasingly difficult if you attend the Baywatch Beachwear Cooler Day Fete, where there will be things like music, Caribbean food, and most importantly, rum snow cones. It would also appear you can also bring your own coolers and/or buckets, which I am assuming can be filled with survival tools like beer. If they give you a hard time, though, just say that after the fourth “Baywatch Beachwear” you started hearing “Baywatch Beer Chair” and got confused.
  • Maybe you would prefer to preserve some brain cells, though, in which case you should avoid the parties and instead go to the Art of Brooklyn Film Festival’s Female Documentary Directors panel discussion. Stick around for the Brooklyn premiere of Love, Lies and Seeta and you’ll have yourself a very cultured Sunday evening, which you can recap loudly to your hungover co-workers on Monday!

  • Okay, enough about brain enrichment. What about your ears?! Don’t worry, you can soothe them with Dan Neustadt’s rendition of The Shins’ ‘Chutes Too Narrow’ at Le Poisson Rouge for FREE, or you can fork over all of $5 to see Joywave / Dolores Boys perform at Pianos. ECONOMUSICAL.

LEAVE US COMMENTS WITH THINGS YOU THINK WE MAY HAVE (not on purpose) MISSED. And remember: if you have tips, an event you want to let us know about or would like to get involved with BYT NYC, shoot us an email at: [email protected] with #BYTNYC in the title. See you around and all the time.

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