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Sick of hearing about the royal baby yet? Too bad! On this week’s edition of novelty twitter accounts, I bring you the best #RoyalBaby related tweets from fictional characters and even the #RoyalBaby himself!

don't care

Snape: Yes, potions master Severus Snape is furiously tweeting about the royal baby and how he is in fact the Half Blood Prince (if you don’t know what that is, read a book or just Google it). I mean, it’s technically true as, according to Snape, “William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal.” The only hiccup is the boy isn’t a wizard (that we know of yet). Snape also reveals the harsh reality that “Kate Middleton’s baby boy is already more successful and famous than [we] could ever possibly be.” Don’t remind me.


The Dark Lord: The Harry Potter characters are really getting worked up over this birth. The Dark Lord himself is providing several helpful suggestions in the name such as “Weasley” so the people of England can chant “Weasley is our king” (once again, read the books, I’m sorry if I’ve alienated those non-Harry Potter fans). He also provides some fantastic suggestions on how to present the royal baby:

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And frankly, I agree.

The Royal Baby himself: Man, it’s indicator of our generation when a baby starts tweeting inside of the womb. And he’s snarky. Example: “’Knock Knock’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘NOT ME BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING NAME’. I’d be pissed, too, if I didn’t have a name. The Royal Family and Great Britain is in for a treat with this dude is heir to the throne. And once again, he reminds us “Not even got a name yet and I’m more famous than you…. Night peasants.” This baby might be the reincarnation of Scott Disick (can you be reincarnated if you’re still alive…?).


Now continue carrying about a baby that doesn’t actually have any significance to the United States.