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When we interviewed Rob Delaney we asked him about the worst gig he’s ever had. It wasn’t a show, but a full-time job. Delaney’s nightmare continued for years. When you work a job you hate, the most horrible things that can happen on stage don’t seem that horrible. -ed.

The worst job that I had was so recent. It was in 2008 to 2010. I worked at the Investor’s Business Daily trying to sell that newspaper over the telephone. It’s just a terrible garbage investment newspaper and I literally tried to sell it over the phone right in the aftermath of the financial crisis. I would call people and be like, “Hey, do you want to get Investor’s Business Daily?’ And they’re like, “No, why would I, are you kidding me? A, its a terrible paper and, B, like everybody, I have no disposable income to fucking throw in the garbage, so why would I get it?’ And I would be like, “Yeah, you’re right, why would you get it, sorry have a great day.” And I just did that for two years. That was the worst, definitely.

Did you quit or did you get fired?

I quit. I walked out, I didn’t even properly do it. I just walked out and I never came back because I got my first TV writing job, my first full time staff writing job.

Is this paper still around?

Yeah, I think it is.

Are you worried about telling people in print that they are a terrible paper? Are you worried about anything coming back to you ?

No, I mean I’ll double down. It’s a terrible paper run by terrible people that gives bad advice that leads to people losing money. I mean it is garbage, so you’re more than most welcome to print that.

Does anybody there know you are a very funny person that goes on stages and uses TV and the Internet to get your ideas across to millions of people?

I honestly don’t know, the turnover there is so high, especially in the telemarketing department that I’m sure just nobody would care. There might have been people there at the time who might be aware of me, but are they still there, I don’t know.

I can’t believe that you did that job when you were sober.

Neither can my wife, that was a dark time for her. Well here’s the thing, you could leave whenever you wanted. I could leave for two weeks to go do shows in the Midwest and then come back and I would still have the job. So I was earning money in other ways, but that was just sort of, you know, my day job.

And that was the last time you had a job where you genuinely hated it?


That is fantastic, that’s been a good five year run then.

Yeah, I feel very very fortunate.

Rob Delaney performs at Sixth & I on Saturday, March 7.