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In order to optimize your leisure time planning, we are attaching a list of EVERYTHING releasing for streaming this month on BOTH Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime. Our personal picks and straight-out-warnings are highlighted.

April 1

NETFLIX:

  • And Now … Ladies and Gentlemen… (2002) – Jeremy Irons and Patricia Kaas as a jazz singer and jewel thief
  • Bandolero (2000)
  • Barnyard (2006)
  • The Beautician and the Beast (1997) – Fran Dresher is a sassy beautician (a stretch, we know) and Timothy Dalton is a Easter European despot whose children she’s hired to teach. Blatant Nanny AND Disney rip-off? YES. Good guilty pleasure to have on backburner? Yes, as well.
  • Bound (1996) – Meg Tilly and Gina Gershon are (almost) too hot to handle in this lipstick lesbian noir classic

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  • Buffalo Soldiers (2001)
  • The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (2002)
  • Down to Earth (2001) – the Chris Rock starring remake of Heaven Can Wait (which was written by Elaine May and starred Warren Beatty and was fun, and you should watch that instead maybe?)
  • Leprechaun 3 (1995)
  • Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)
  • Leprechaun 6: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)
  • Suicide Kings (1997) – you maybe forgot about this post-Pulp-Fiction-AND-Reservoir-Dogs kidnapping thriller but we’d watch Christopher Walken and Dennis Leary in anything, any ole day.
  • Sunset Strip (2000) – a 1970s set LA music biz drama that never quite found an audience but features enough recognizable faces (Anna Friel, Adam Goldberg, Simon Baker, JARED LETO etc) to warrant a second first look.
  • Underworld (2003) – Vampires. Kate Beckinsale. Bill Nighy. A LOT OF LEATHER.

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  • Whiteboyz (1999)
  • Wrong Turn at Tahoe (2009)

AMAZON PRIME:

  • Amistad (1997) – has anyone ever seen Amistad more than once?
  • Bloody Sunday (2002)
  • The Brothers Grimm (2005) – the beginning of Terry Gilliam’s end
  • Death Wish (1974) – Charles Bronson used to kick just SO MUCH ASS.
  • Death Wish 2 (1982)
  • Escape from Alcatraz (1979) – Clint Eastwood in the late 70s > than most other people most other times

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  • French Connection II (1975) – not as good as the first one
  • Godzilla (1998) – not as good as any of the other ones
  • Ken Burns: The Roosevelts (2014)
  • Kicking and Screaming (2005) – the Will Ferrell one, not the Noah Baumbach one
  • Leprechaun 2 (1994)
  • Leprechaun 3 (1995)
  • Leprechaun 5 (2001)
  • Mommie Dearest (1981) – NO.WIRE.HANGERS.EVER.

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  • My Old Lady (2014) – We’ll watch Maggie Smith is pretty much anything
  • Saved! (2004) – the religious satire starring Mandy Moore, Jena Malone and Macauley Culkin (in a brief, wheelchair bound sort-of-comeback)
  • Star Trek: The Motion Picture (2009) – SPOCK SPOCK SPOCK
  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
  • Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)
  • Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

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  • Suicide Kings (1997)
  • The Thing Called Love (1993) – A young River Phoenix starring story about Country Music (also featuring Samantha Mathis, Sandra Bullock and Dermot Mulroney).

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HULU:

  • Weird Loners:  FOX Series Premiere
  • Shadows and Fog (1991) – YES
  • Stardust Memories (1980) – YES
  • Teen Wolf (1985) – YES

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  • Candyman (1992) – just in time to destroy the sleeping patterns of a new generation
  • The City of the Lost Children (1995) – still so gorgeous and so disturbing

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  • Donnie Brasco (1997) – YES
  • Enough (2002) – mostly pointless Jennifer Lopez domestic abuse/work-out movie
  • House of Flying Daggers (2004) – YES
  • On the Waterfront (1954) – classic

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  • Seven Years in Tibet (1997) – Brad Pitt is EXTRA blond in this one
  • Starship Troopers (1997) – was this really bad or really good or ….

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April 2

NETFLIX:

  • Life Partners (2014) – Leighton Meester plays a lesbian and Gillian Jacobs plays her best friend
  • Sinbad: The Fifth Voyage (2014) – Why exactly did Patrick Stewart agree to be in this?

April 3

NETFLIX:

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  • The Quiet Ones (2014) – not as good as Starry eyes

HULU:

  • VeggieTales: Dave and The Giant Pickle (1996)
    VeggieTales: Larryboy and The Fib From Outer Space (1997)

April 7

NETFLIX:

  • Preservation (2014) – apparently this manhunt thriller is not good – but Pablo Schrieber is one of the most commanding screen presences working in American right now so you’ll either see that because of him or not

HULU:

  • American Odyssey:  NBC Series Premiere
  • Bunnytown:  Season  1
  • Doc McStuffins:  Season 1
  • Handy Manny:  Seasons 1-3
  • CSI:  Seasons 1-14
  • CSI en Espanol:  Seasons 1-14
  • Wilfred:  Season 4 – Wilfred has survived 4 seasons you guys.

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April 9

NETFLIX:

  • Pioneer (2013) – Remember West Bentley from American Beauty? This is what he’s been up to

HULU:

  • Hot in Cleveland:  Season 6 – this show just won’t quit, will it?

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  • The Soul Man:  Season 4 – Cedric the Entertainer is currently on a TV show?
  • Walk of Shame Shuttle:  Season 1
  • Resident Advisors:  Season 1 (Exclusively on Hulu)

April 10

NETFLIX:

  • The Awakening (2013) – We think this is the Rebecca Hall supernatural thriller but we are not sure because that movie was made in 2011 and no movie with this name was made in 2011
  • Broken (2013) – Tim Roth + Cillian Murphy = things are bound to be kind of fucked up
  • Burning Bridges (2014)
  • Confusion Na Wa (2013)
  • Finding Mercy (2012)
  • Finding Mercy 2 (2014)
  • Flower Girl (2013)
  • Forgetting June (2013)
  • Knocking on Heaven’s Door (2014)
  • Lagos Cougars (2013)
  • Lies Men Tell (2013)
  • Mad Couple (2014)
  • Mad Couple 2 (2014)
  • Matters Arising (2014)
  • October 1* (2014)
  • Onye Ozi (2013)
  • Ties That Bind (2011)

Amazon Prime:

  • America: Imagine the World without Her (2014)
  • The Better Angels (2014)
  • Groundhog Day (1993)  – still great

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  • Lay the Favorite (2012)
  • Little Women (1994) – pass the tissues
  • Louie: Season Four (2014)  – YES
  • Submarine (2010) – a great, understated British coming-of-age gem. Read our full review here.

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  • The Quiet Ones (2014)

April 11

NETFLIX:

  • The Identical (2014) – The Identical is sort of hard to pin down. On one level, it’s a tour of rock ’n roll nostalgia through the 50s, 60s and 70s. But more deeply, it’s a kind of fairy tail about fathers and sons, the generations, the music, and finding your calling in the world. Read our full review here.

April 14

NETFLIX:

  • The Babadook (2014) – The Babadook’s is that rare horror movie whose monster functions fully as both a metaphor for the film’s themes, and as an actual concrete threat to the characters within the narrative world. It’s a hell of a neat trick, and the seamlessness with which first-time feature film writer-and-director Jennifer Kent slides between those various conceptions from scene to scene is remarkable. Read our full review here.

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  • Goodbye to Language (2014) – Godard. Enough said.
  • Kink (2013)

April 16

NETFLIX:

  • Hot Fuzz (2007) – perfect for taking the post-tax day edge off. Or any kind of edge off.

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April 17

NETFLIX:

  • Chris D’Elia: Incorrigible (2015)
  • They Came Together (2014) – Yes, it has both Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd in it (not to mention Bill Hader, Ellie Kemper, and everyone else). Yes, it was written by David Wein (who brought us “Wet Hot American Summer”). Yes, it is a parody of all the classic rom-coms you love and love to hate. No, it is NOT good.

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April 18

NETFLIX:

  • Noah (2014) – This is an epic with purpose, one that will challenge and frighten the devout and non-believers alike. Read our full review here.

HULU:

  • The Messengers:  CW Series Premiere

April 21

NETFLIX:

  • A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) – What do you think of when you hear the words “a girl walks home alone at night?” Is there a specific image that creeps into your brain? Is it scary? Is it dull? Does it involve vampires? It does now. Read our full review here.

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AMAZON PRIME:

  • Sons of Anarchy Season 7 – the final season
  • Craig Ferguson: Does This Need to be Said? (2011) – to help with you Craig Ferguson cold turkey
  • Leprechaun (1993)
  • Ping Pong Summer (2014) – 1980s set ping pong comedy with Judah Friedlander. It is a shame it wasn’t being released on 4/20

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  • Still Life (2013) – a not so great murder mystery starring the usually great Nathaniel Parker (Aka Inspector Linley)
  • They Came Together (2014)
  • Noah (2014)
  • Son of a Gun (2014)

HULU

  • Deadbeat:  Hulu Original Season 2 Premiere – solid, underseen slacker medium comedy

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  • Top Gear: The Perfect Road Trip

April 26

NETFLIX:

  • The Nutty Professor 2: Facing the Fear (2008)

HULU

  • Sons of Anarchy:  Season 7 (Final Season)

April 27

NETFLIX:

  • National Treasure (2004) – sort of a consolation prize for everyone who didn’t get tickets to our National Archives After Hours?

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TELEVISION

NETFLIX:

  • All Hail King Julien (season 1, April 3)
  • Derek (special, April 3) – SO READY TO CRY SO MUCH

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  • Halt and Catch Fire (season 1, April 8) – the other AMC drama that you probably didn’t watch but is presumably good. ALSO: LEE PACE ALWAYS.

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  • Marvel’s Daredevil (season 1, April 10) – One of our most anticipated original streaming shows of the year, and a kick-off to the Netflix/Marvel relationship. Charlie Cox (Boardwalk Empire) stars as the blind attorney Matt Murdock/Daredevil in a role that many would consider forever jinxed after that 2003 Ben Affleck fiasco. Still, the series format should prove beneficial to paying more attention to all the necessary mythology details and the fact that Vincent D’Onofrio has been confirmed as the Kingpin means that menacing factors won’t be in short order. Rosario Dawson also co-stars, and the girl looks good in any comic book inspired movie she’s in.
  • Video Game High School (season 3, April 13)
  • Baby Daddy (season 4, April 17)

AND THAT IS ALL. and of course, keep checking in every Tuesday for our HOME ENTERTAINMENT guide handpicked by our Film Editor. Well worth it. In the meantime – happy watching:

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