I had a radio show that only played bands performing in the District. That show is super dead, so we’ve resurrected it (with way more words and far less radio) in the form of this column. Every day I’ll review a song from a band playing in D.C. that night. The rules are, 1. I can only listen to the song once and 2. I only have until the end of the song to finish my review.
CHROME SPARKS – MOONRAKER
This feels like the kind of music that should be in a video game. Or a sci-fi movie? Yeah. That feels right. I don’t really know what to say about this. I’m enjoying it a lot, but it seems like something I would prefer to listen to alone in my room with all of the lights off and two covers over my head instead of at U Street Music Hall. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to this show. I’m sure it will be great. This is super atmospheric. I’m just saying before you go to the show… oh wait a second. The song just totally changed and now it’s way dancier. Forget everything I said. Go to this show and dance up on some strangers. It’s a good decision. Trust me.
CARDIKNOX – ON MY WAY
It’s super amusing to me that a Cardiknox is opening up for THE KNOCKS. So many knocks. So many knock knock jokes. Did you guys know Keanu Reeves is in a horror movie directed by Eli Roth called Knock Knock? It looks very much like an Eli Roth movie. Anyway, this is a totally find band to see before you see The Knocks. They’re not amazing and I don’t know if I would go see Cardiknox solo, but this is a good warm up to the extreme dance party that the main act will be. Overall, not bad. Not bad at all. Also, there are some very amusing dance moves in this music video and if you can imitate them at the show everyone will think you’re cool.
CHROME PONY – CIGGY STARDUST
For a second while I was watching this music video I seriously thought Chrome Pony was a band made up entirely of children because I’m an idiot. So this is FUN. Very high energy. Seems like it would be good music to listen to while jumping up and down while a bunch of other people are also jumping up and down. The title is very timely in a sad way. Since it’s a long weekend and Sunday is basically Saturday this feels like the perfect Saturday night show. Fill yourself with cheap beer and whisky, go make bad decisions, and let this be your soundtrack.
This is chill as hell. I can’t imagine anything in the world more chill and relaxing than this rando compilation. You could be in the middle of getting lit on fire and if this was playing you’d still probably be like, “Coooool bro.” That is how low key this is. If you want to spend your Monday (which is basically going to feel like Sunday) listening to sweet jazz and eating good food then you should 100% make your way to Bethesda.