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Photos By Franz Mahr, Words By Brandon Wetherbee

The Washington Nationals began the 2014 regular season on Monday in Queens. This Friday they’ll take on the Atlanta Braves for their home opener. Hopefully it won’t be snowing.

Nationals Park is a not-so-bad new/old ballpark. Influenced by the best new/old ballpark Camden Yards, Nationals stadium offers good sight lines, quality food and a fine beer selection. And none of that’s news. The new stuff, the reason you’re reading this article, is the food.

You can attend every Nationals home game (that’s 81, they play 81 games at home and 81 games on the road, that’s what all MLB teams do) and never eat the same thing. That is very good news.

But not everyone likes baseball. If you’re on this site, you’re probably not a big baseball fan. But I am. And there’s a reason to go to baseball game whether you know Bryce Harper as a promising third year All-Star or Bryce Harper as a promising underwear model. Here are the reasons you should attend a Washington Nationals game, regardless of your level of fandom.

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For the Washington Nationals Fan

Your team is going to go to the World Series. Or come very close.

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For the beer fan

The park offers 55 different types of beer.

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For the Mike Isabella fan

Isabella’s new sandwich shop G is now in section 136 at Nationals Park.

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For the Veep fan

You can hang out in the Silver Slugger Suite and re-enact scenes.

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For the House of Cards fan

You can hang out in a Gold Glove Suite and act like a horrible person.

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For the billiards fan

You can play pool.

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For the Presidential buff

There are amazing plush figures of some pretty important leaders that are extremely lifelike and inspiring.

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For the person that loves to text and always forgets their charger

There are charging stations throughout the park.

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For the fashionable person with a head

There are lots of hats.

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For the juvenile fan

The Nats have a player with the last name Fister.

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For the Lego fan

They have Legos.

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For the people with really bad tickets

You can hang out in the new Heineken Red Star Lounge and have a very good view of the field regardless if you have nosebleed seats. It’s general admission.

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For the Canadian

You can eat poutine.

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For the Best Man who has no idea what to do for a bachelor party

Get a box.

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For the sushi fan

There are now sushi carts in section 114. Baseball sushi. Traditional baseball sushi.

It’s actually kinda cool because the stadium is going to offer special rolls based on who the Nats are taking on. I’m going to enjoy my traditional Chicago Cubs sushi roll. I’m wishing this into existence.

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For the not sushi fans

There are still peanuts and Cracker Jacks and soda.

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For the person that loves the delicacies of Philadelphia/eating like they’re in college

There are Philly Cheesesteak eggrolls.

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For the person that absolutely hates baseball because it’s boring and games are too expensive and it’s too hard to get to Navy Yard and blah blah blah.

Look at this view. Watch an inning from this section and you’ll enjoy baseball. You may not fall in love with the sport, but at least you’re in a great seat at a great park with a team that has a promising future. You may not ever care what’s going on on the field, but there’s enough quality food, beer and perks to make this a pleasant enough experience. If this sightline still doesn’t do it for you, go to the August 5 game against the New York Mets and receive a free Jayson Werth (he’s the very good outfielder with the beard that used to be on the Phillies) Garden Gnome. Everyone likes garden gnomes.

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