Every day this week, Steve and Allan from Middle Distance Runner and a special DC musical guest are eating a region-specific hot dog from around the country, reviewing it, and comparing it to a professional wrestler. Middle Distance Runner is having a DC-only release show at the Black Cat this Saturday for their new, self-titled EP.
The Dog: “Superdawg”
The Venue: Superdawg
The Region: Chicago, IL
The Specs: A boiled dog with golden mustard, sweet relish, kosher dill pickle, and chopped Spanish onions.
The Guest: Tony Acampora of Greenland
The Case for Superdawg by Tony Acampora
725,000 Hot Dogs are sold at O’ Hare International Airport in Chicago every year. Whether or not they are “Chicago style” dogs I do not know. What I do know is that the dogs sold at O’Hare and at hot dog vendors all around the world should be Superdawgs.
Allan and Steve were not overly enthusiastic about the Superdawg, to be honest. The following night they had some super-exotic/erotic perversion of a hot dog and the Superdawg was coming up short in comparison. They may be surprised to hear this but I was really impressed by the Superdawg that night. I managed to eat two despite already having eaten a pasta dinner earlier in the night.
The Superdawg is a simple number: The dog (all beef), poppy seed bun, tomatoes, sweet relish, onions and dill pickle. Like Hemingway’s writing, the Superdawg does not indulge in the excessive. It is not verbose. Rather, it speaks a simple truth… life is too short to complicate things. Keep it simple. Find a girl, settle down… appreciate the good things around you rather than focusing on the negative… laugh with your friends and family… so what if Guns and Roses will never put out another great
album? We always have Appetite.
I know what you are thinking. “Tony this dog sounds like Oprah or Dr. Phil.”
This dog is like the fairy godmother you never had. Honest and warm.
Chicago’s Superdawg is somewhat of a humble yet interesting concoction. The boiled dog serves its function without overstepping the other flavors. The sweet relish gives purpose to the dill pickle as only it could, unlocking its flavor like Elwood unlocking Jake’s cuff from a briefcase. A solid but subtly unique dog, the Superdawg requires little analysis, but a reasonable amount of praise.
I wasn’t super pumped about this dog. I normally like the more standard chili dogs with onions, etc., but I was tricked! This is not to be thought of as a hot dog. It’s a dish. With all that shit on it the hot dog becomes basically a salty juice core to help your own saliva break down the shit-ton of other stuff on it. It was probably the healthiest I’ve felt after a hot dog, but really that’s not what I’m looking for. I mean, yeah it was tasty, but whatever.
This dog is not flashy at all, or perhaps its attemps at flashiness come out weak, but it’s the type of dog that would come to the arena every night just to get its ass beat. Its two-pronged personality of steadiness and utter ridiculousness (sweet and sour) combines to form a passable, if forgettable, product. It won’t win many contests, but oddly enough, that’s sort of the point.