A password will be e-mailed to you.

Welcome back to another edition of MERCH PARTY – a round-up series that typically shouts out of all the best band merch comin’ to a venue near you, ’cause supporting your favorite artists in more ways than one is just part of bein’ a good fan! We’re still gonna do that right now, but with a little twist – we’re gonna shout out bands slingin’ some solid back to school appropriate merch, regardless of whether or not the homies have a show near us anytime soon. (Some do, some don’t, we’ll let ya know.) Got that? Great! And if you’re going, “I’m not in school anymore, Megan…” then I’m going, “Bitch, same! I haven’t been in a classroom for nearly a decade, but I still like me some organizational/motivational/etc. vibes roundabout late August, early September!” So let’s get into what’s good RIGHT NOW:

Sylvan Esso Toothbrush!, $3

First, good morning! Brush your goddamn teeth! I don’t know if you’re supposed to brush before AND after breakfast, but that is what I do (sorry to my enamel), and ideally it would be with a (v. beautifully-designed) Sylvan Esso toothbrush. (Just $3!) Yes I have written about this toothbrush before, yes I will probably continue to write about it, because THIS IS THE KIND OF MERCH THE PEOPLE WANT!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

NYC – Beacon Theatre 11.17 + 11.18

Angel Olsen Shut Up Mug, $15

Let’s continue where I usually do, aka with a cup of coffee. (Or tea, depending on which best version of myself I’m trying to be.) We need a mug as a vessel (duh), and I can think of no better choice than this Angel Olsen SHUT UP design, because if I’m caffeinating, I need anyone/everyone to SHUT UP.

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

DC – 11.1 @ Lincoln Theatre
NYC – 11.22 + 11.23 @ Brooklyn Steel

Andrew WK Personal Motivational Audio Message, $107.99

But maybe the goddamn caffeine just isn’t doin’ it for ya, in which case just hire someone else (someone else who is VERY GOOD) to motivate you! Andrew WK is selling personalized motivational voice messages, and by god, if anybody can convince you to do something great, it is 110% Andrew WK. “It’s an exclusive and completely unique REAL AUDIO MESSAGE recorded by Andrew W.K. just for you.” Hell yeah!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Maggie Rogers Prayer Candle, $25

And if all of the above still hasn’t made you feel ultra-confident in the day that lies ahead (maybe you have an exam or a quarterly report due), then just pray to ye olde sacred Maggie Rogers candle for all of the slightly-synesthesia-tinged good luck vibes!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

NYC – Radio City Music Hall 10.1 + 10.2, 92Y 10.3
DC – Anthem 10.7 + 10.8

Tegan and Sara URGENT! Notepad, $8

Now that you have harnessed all of the AM posi-vibes, it’s time to set your intentions for the day. What are your hopes? Goals? Dreams? Shit you need to get done ASAP? Put it all on paper with the help of Tegan and Sara’s notepad, and potentially love someone (at least yourself) to death.

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

NYC – Barnes & Noble Union Square 9.23, Murmrr Theatre 9.24
DC – Lincoln Theatre 10.27

Jay Som Shoplifting Tote, $15

Okay great, let’s get you out the goddamn door! BUT FIRST, we need a tote bag for all of your belongings! (Backpacks are so 6th grade and/or airport!) There are admittedly MANY totes to choose from in this life, but I think this one from Jay Som is just the fucking greatest (clearly swing by WF on your way home for maximum satisfaction):

UPCOMING DATES NEAR US:

NYC – Elsewhere 10.25
DC – R&R 10.30

Best Coast ‘Best Kids’ Lunchbox, $19.99

But don’t forget to pack your lunch! You don’t wanna get stuck eating gross cafeteria grub (OR WORSE, FAST-CASUAL SAD SALADS), so do the whole meal prep thing and sort it out nicely in this Best Coast lunchbox! Yes it is a design based on their children’s album, no we are not babies, yes we still like the look and feel of this, YES WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT LUNCH IN IT, END OF STORY!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Speedy Ortiz “Ghost” Notebook, $6.99

Alright, now you’re at school/work/other concentration-forward establishment/etc., so you’re probably gonna want to (or at least need to) jot some shit down, in which case we have the very lovely Speedy Ortiz-designed (and approved) notebook for all your scribblin’ ‘n doodlin’ impulses!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Japanese Breakfast Pencil Set, $5

And of COURSE you will need writing utensils, in which case you should grab a pack o’ these discounted Japanese Breakfast pencils! Again, written about ’em before, and probably will not stop writing about ’em as long as they remain in stock because CUTE!

UPCOMING GIGS NEAR US:

¯_(ツ)_/¯

So there you have it! I hope I have set you up for success in this 2019/2020 school/work year! Even if I haven’t, there are bigger fish to fry than that paper and/or conference call! Solidarity! We shall overcome! xxoo Mom, aka Megan, aka Megmom.

X
X