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Welcome to March, a month in which an 80° day is followed by below freezing temperatures and a massive budget cut to the EPA. Hilarious! Since it’ll take some time before all of the plants refuse to grow because the earth is no longer life sustaining, have a laugh! Our March Comedy Guide is a one pick per day map of stand up, sketch, theater and more. Go laugh.

Friday, March 3

Patton Oswalt @ Warner Theatre

Patton Oswalt has been incredibly good at stand up comedy for so, so long. He suffered an absolutely devastating loss last year when his wife Michelle McNamara passed away and I can’t imagine the sort of observations and anecdotes (and dark-flight-of-fancy detours) he’s wrung from the experience. -Matt Byrne

Saturday, March 4

Found Footage Festival @ Arlington Drafthouse

The Found Footage Festival is a touring roadshow featuring an ever-evolving compilation of some of the best/worst bits of cultural ephemera, public access weirdos, and self-help VHS gurus. They’ve got an all-new show program for 2017; highlights include bloopers culled from ten years of North Dakota local newscasts and selections from David Letterman’s video collection, which was gifted to the FFF by Dave himself after he retired. -Matt Byrne

also March 3

Monday, March 6

Brother Mario @ The Writer’s Center

A play based on of the Nintendo Mario Bros franchise and the combination of Anton Chekhov’s world. Hell yes. This comical show full of nods to the game and classical theatre should make you laugh with nostalgia. -Jp Sisneros

also March 2-5, 9-12

Tuesday, March 7

Tell Me Something I Don’t Know Podcast – Live @ Sixth and I

Tell Me Something I Don’t Know is a live podcast/game show from the guys who brought you Freakanomics. A trio of celebrities attempt to surprise, shock, or at least educate the audience with an interesting nugget of trivia, while a panel of smart folks needle the contestants for details and explanations. -Matt Byrne

also March 6

Wednesday, March 8

Sarah Tiana @ Kennedy Center

Each month the Millennium Stage brings in up-and-coming (what an odd phrase) stand up. Free and not necessarily all ages, the series is fantastic. -Brandon Wetherbee

Thursday, March 9

Peter and the Starcatcher @ Constellaion Theatre Company

I saw this show on Broadway and it blew my mind with how funny and innovative it is. This Constellation Theatre production does not disappoint. With fantastic comedic performances and awesome costumes and set. The origin story of Peter Pan is a night to escape. -Jp Sisneros

also March 3, 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12

Friday, March 10

Jim Jefferies @ DAR Constitution Hall

The angry Australian, and Piers Morgan’s worst enemy, will be at Constitution Hall for a night of potty-mouthed funny business. -Norm Quarrinton


Saturday, March 11

Ali Wong @ Warner Theatre

Ali Wong is on a good run. Her acclaimed Netflix special Baby Cobra, recorded while she was seven months pregnant, has rightfully exposed her to a huge audience and things don’t seem to be slowing down. She’s selling out theaters all over the country and is, by the way, extremely funny and good at standup comedy. -Matt Byrne

also March 10

Sunday, March 12

Gay Men’s Chorus: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying @ Lincoln Theatre

A Tony award-winning comedy primarily about a dream we all have: succeeding by doing very little. – Jenn Tisdale

also March 10 and 11

Monday, March 13

The Bachelor Finale

T.V.’s best comedy wraps up season 69. -Brandon Wetherbee

Tuesday, March 14

Mike Birbiglia @ DC Improv

Don’t Think Twice director Mike Birbiglia is, apparently, pretty juiced on doing standup in 2017. He’s got a plan for an all-new show in the works and his Working It Out Tour sees him taking up residence in smaller venues to do just that: work things out. Expect new, not-necessarily-fully-formed material, improvisation, and never-before-told stories from this NPR darling. -Matt Byrne

Wednesday, March 15

Comedy Potluck @ The Wonderland Ballroom

We’re big fans of Church Night and Linsay Deming. This is her monthly working-stuff-out night at The Wonderland Ballroom. A mix of sketch, stand up, presentations and more in a supportive room. -Brandon Wetherbee

Friday, March 17

Emma Willmann @ Big Hunt

I enjoyed her Late Show set. I would not be surprised if she’s at Drafthouse DC the next time she’s in town then Arlington Drafthouse then DC Improv. -Brandon Wetherbee

also March 18

Saturday, March 18

Brick Penguin Tries Its Best (Again) @ Dojo Comedy

This show is actually running March 10 through 24 so you have some time but we thought smack dab in the middle of its run is an idea place to start. They’re celebrating their 7th year of sketch comedy which is like improv but far less anxious for the audience. – Jenn Tisdale

also March 10, 11, 17, 24, 25

Sunday, March 19

Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing @ Signature Theatre

Pulitzer Prize winner James Lapine and Emmy Award winner Debra Monk write and star respectively in this comedy about the shitty singer Elva Miller. Miller gained popularity for her terrible renditions of pop classics in the 1960s. -Jp Sisneros

also March 2-5, 8-12, 14, 16-18, 21-26

Friday, March 24

Kyle Dunnigan @ Arlington Drafthouse

Kyle Dunnigan has received heaps of praise his work writing for Inside Amy Schumer, he was even nominated for a dang Emmy for the song “Girl You Don’t Need Makeup,” but he’s a perennially underrated standup comic. He’s innovative, weird, and adventurous, totally unafraid to incorporate weird multimedia elements and experimental pieces into his set. -Matt Byrne

Saturday, March 25

Fale University @ Suns Cinema

A comedic lecture series for the truly uneducated. It’s the one time no one in D.C. will ask, “So, where’d you go to school?” – Jenn Tisdale

Wednesday, March 29

Underground Comedy Fest

The people behind last year’s fantastic 202 Fest are rebranding and returning with the Underground Comedy Fest. Use it as a chance to familiarize yourself with D.C.’s funniest stand ups. -Brandon Wetherbee

also March 30-April 1

Thursday, March 30

Jimmy Carr @ Warner Theatre

The king of dark British snark, Jimmy Carr, is bringing his brand of non-kid friendly comedy to this side of the Atlantic for two dates as part of his The Best of, Ultimate, Gold, Greatest Hits Tour. -Norm Quarrinton

Friday, March 31

Mac Sabbath @ The Black Cat

This is exactly what you’re thinking, if you’re thinking metal band who performs as your favorite McDonald’s characters. -Jenn Tisdale