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I’ve been away for awhile from writing anything on BYT. Going to shitty movies that you have no desire to see every week and writing about them tends to chafe the soul. But thank Jeebus! BYT asked me to interview one of my favorite comedians EVER. I’m totally gay for Louis CK and so should you be. Go to his show, Hilarious, tonight at the Warner Theater, watch his new standup special Chewed Up on Showtime, or buy his HBO standup special, Shameless. Apart from all of that, appreciate someone who makes with the jokes. This clip is about everyone who is watching it right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Z_ZducwbQ

j – When was the last time you had a Cinnabon?

lck – Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve had one since I’ve done that bit. That happens to me; when I start doing a bit about stuff happening to me, that stuff stops happening to me. I can’t eat a Cinnabon anymore, I’ve eaten worse things since then, but not cinnabons.

j-That’s a theme in your act, a lack of control over food.

lck – Yeah, I do have a huge problem with that. I think that its possible that the last Cinnabon i had was when I ate one on LUCKY LOUIE.. When we were shooting, I ate about 4 or 5 cinnabons that day and I got VERY sick. The episode was called “Control” and it was about me perversely eating in front of my TV wife Pamela Adlon (the voice of Bobby Hill, no joke!).

J – You had to do a bunch of takes of that, right?

lck – Yeah, but the art department did something well meaning, but disastrous. They thought it would be a good idea to scoop out the burgers and put fuckin’ russian dressing where the burger used to be. So I was eating a bunch of Russian dressing sandwiches. I would have been better off with the protein.

J – Do you do well with buffets, then?

lck – I don’t get to do them often, because I usually have to get the hell out of town. But if I have a late flight, I will go to the buffet and ruin my life.

j – You always talk about what a sad fat bastard you are, but yet, you always show off your gut and your “area”, most infamously on your HBO show Lucky Louie. Why?

lck – Well, that was realism. But it was also that HBO, being HBO, started to put pressure on us to put some nudity on the show. “We want to see some tits!” So in the middle of the fight with HBO, I did that scene. And it was a funny way of saying to the network, “Well, there’s your nudity.”

j – I got drunk the other night and forced all of my friends to watch your Showtime special “Chewed Up”.

lck – oh, well, thank you.

j – It’s just you and a blank stage, though. Is your new show “Hilarious” going to be more spicy? Are you going to have your name in giant neon lights behind you?

lck – I think that the dumbest thing that people do with standup specials is make it look like they’re a big star. Y’know, making the fuckin’ floor all shiny and having a crazy set that’s going to be outdated in two years. And lighting up the audience and showing how much they’re laughing. I just think that the best standup comedy films are Bill Cosby Himself and Richard Pryor Live in Concert, and for both of them, fuckin’ NOTHING’s going on. It’s just a guy talking. You NEVER see the audience; not a single time.

j – So you are now dedicated to doing a new hour of material every year, how daunting and difficult is that?

lck – I wouldn’t use those two words, I would say its inspiring and motivating…its like a fight. You train for these specials like boxing matches. You have the fight, and then you wake up the next morning and you’ve got no act. You have no jokes. And that’s a very exciting feeling. Especially when you’ve been doing it as long as I have.

j – How long have you been doing stand up?

lck – Since I was 18.

j – What did you have to talk about when you were 18?

lck – Well, that’s the hard thing for young comedians. In the final analysis nobody really wants to hear anything that an 18 year old has to say. Even if he’s the funniest guy in the world…”So what?”

j – You mentioned that certain jokes have a shelf life. Is that why you don’t do political humor?

lck – I don’t like doing topical stuff. I kind of hate it and part of it is from working on talk shows. Having to read the fucking New York Post every day and find out what Britney Spears was doing. I HATED knowing everything about these people. It drove me crazy. And I’m so glad I don’t give a shit about Lindsay Lohan or any of them. I mean, I jack off to her pictures, but I don’t have any idea what’s going on in her life.

j – Don’t you think she’s too freckly?

lck – NO, I like anything unusual. But to me, her story isn’t, “Why doesn’t she stop drinking?”, or “What is she, a lesbo?” to me it’s “Why doesn’t everybody just shut the fuck up about everything?”

j – Do you think that writing jokes about Young Hollywood somehow validates their existence?

lck – Well, I don’t know. It’s hard to figure out what that relationship is. It’s as hard as it is to figure out a romantic relationship with a woman. I mean, who’s helping who here when you get into one of those? “Am I asking for this abuse?” Its the same thing, the relationship between the public and the beaten celebrities. Are they abusing us or are we abusing them? I’m not sure.

j -Speaking of relationships, I’m going to be moving in with my girlfriend in a couple of months. What do I have to look forward to?

lck – Well, I was in a boxing gym today and I did 2 rounds with an actual professional fighter. Every time I went in my trainer said “Have fun. If you’re not having fun it’s not worth it.” And people say that to each other all the time, “Hey, just try to have a good time, just try to have fun!:”. But this was absurd to me because I’d never heard that approach taken before someone going into the ring. I watch boxing religiously, and I’ve NEVER heard the trainer say to the guy before he goes out, ” Hey look, have a good time, though. If you’re not having a good time, then what are we here for?” Don’t get all stressed out.

j – How do feel about having to clean up your act and not cuss to perform on network tv?

lck – You just get used to it. I think the whole thing’s absurd. The fear of words is just stupid. So there’s part of me that just rolls my eyes and goes, “What’s wrong with these people?” I’ve never understood it. Why is there a 1st Amendment that says the Freedom of speech protects the Klan so they can march, but, you can’t say “Jesus Christ”” on television? You can’t say “Jesus Christ” and his name unless you are calling him “Our Lord”.

j- Seriously, you can’t?

lck – No! It’s CRAZY! You can’t take the lord’s name in vain on TV. The federal government doesn’t let you! But it is what it is, and I grew up in it. So there’s probably part of me that if I grew up in the time when black people had to sit in the back of the bus, and I had to take the bus every day, I’d just wave at them and sit down.

j – So this is a hipster website, the readers are people who would would wear ironic Awesome Possum shirts. So what is your message to them?

lck – You don’t matter yet. You’re just larvae. I have nothing to say to anybody who looks and dresses like that….except the girls. I’d like to fuck all of them. They are all allowed to suck my dick whenever they want to.

j -I will pass it along.

Louis CK performs at the Warner Theater tonight, get your tickets here.

http://www.louisck.net/

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