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It’s almost July and I know you don’t want to admit it, but you’re already running out of things to do this summer. Things that aren’t outside, at least. Well, check out this month’s comedy guide for some comedians that will help you beat the heat and the boredom that comes with the middle of the summer.

Michael Winslow: July 3, Baltimore Comedy Factory— $20 to $28

Winslow is known for his roles in Police Academy and Spaceballs but even more, he is known as The Man of 10,000 Sound Effects. While he has done quite a bit of work onscreen, he has done even more off-screen work through voiceovers. He is the voice behind such characters like Stripe from “Gremlins” and multiple characters in both “Robot Chicken” and “Family Guy.” Lastly, he is the man behind the Geico commercials, the ones where he makes the sound effects while a real customer tells their insurance story (he’s “that guy who does those funny sound effects”).

Gemini with 50 Shades of Comedy: July 5, Old Town Theater— $27 to $45

This comedian does more than just comedy: he does it all, from creating illusions to ventriloquism. So his show is essentially a funny magic show with a couple of puppets. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Beware, he loves audience participation.

Jermaine Fowler & Kevin Barnett: July 5 & 6, Baltimore Comedy Factory— $17 to $27

Both of these gentlemen began their life of stand-up comedy in NYC. From there, both Fowler and Barnett have snatched roles on Comedy Central and MTV2 as well as on CollegeHumor.com. Both can be seen on MTV2’s show, “Guy Code.” While they have had very similar careers, they have branched out to do their own thing. Fowler has performed at numerous comedy festivals, such as the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival and Just for Laughs Montreal. Barnett has appeared in several indie films such as How to Follow Strangers and Mike Birbiglia’s Sleepwalk with Me. He also co-hosts the podcast, “The Roundtable of Gentlemen.”

Tom Papa: July 5 – July 7, DC Improv—$20

Tom Papa is a pretty cool guy. He’s being doing stand-up for quite some time and has appeared on numerous occasions on Comedy Central as he has recorded several specials for them. His latest special was actually directed by Rob Zombie (didn’t know stand- up comedy was his thing).  He is a frequent on guest on all those late night comedy shows, such as “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” and “Late Show with David Letterman.” Papa is also a frequent presence on the big screen, appearing in movies such as The Informant, The Haunted World of El Super Beasto, and Analyze That. Listen to his show “Come to Papa” on Sirius/XM radio.

Keenen Ivory Wayans: July 11 – July 14, Baltimore Comedy Factory— $25 to $33

You may not know Keenen but you definitely know his brothers, Shawn and Marlon Wayans. While he might not be as well known as his brothers, he still has been quite a presence in the comedy world. His writing credit on Eddie Murphy’s live comedy performance, Raw, was his breakout role. He was also behind the Emmy-winning series “in Living Color.” Wayans also directed the first two Scary Movie films (which may or may not be a good thing).

John Witherspoon: July 11 – July 14, DC Improv—$22 to $25

This comedian has been described as “one of America’s funniest dads.”  He’s played the goofy dad in shows and movies alike, such as the Friday Trilogy and The Wayans Brothers sitcom. Fun fact: he was the crazy homeless guy that harasses Adam Sandler Patricia Arquette in Little Nicky. Besides comedic performances, Witherspoon has launched a series of humorous greeting cards called Spoon Cards. Interesting career: comedy and greeting cards.


Cecily Strong & Friends: July 12 – July 13, Arlington Drafthouse— $15 to $20

She’s a new face in the comedy world, just recently gaining recognition when she joined the SNL family in Fall 2012. Strong has done improv for years, primarily in Chicago, performing in Chicago Sketchfest and Chicago Just for Laughs. If you’ve seen the Weekend Update with The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party, you know who she is. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re about to.


Fortune Feimster: July 12 – July 13, Arlington Drafthouse— $10 to $20

This comedian with a great name didn’t start as a comedian; she started as a teacher, though it was only for a year. She burst onto the comedy scene through finishing as a semi-finalist on NBC’s “The Last Comic Standing.” Now, she’s a full-time writer and performer on “Chelsea Lately” as well as a touring comic.

Mickey Cucchiella: July 18 – July 20, Baltimore Comedy Factory— $17 to $28

Reading his bio makes Cucchiella sound like scary guy as he is said to attack anything and everything, from religion to “stupid white people.” When he’s not performing stand-up, he is a morning show hose for the Baltimore radio station, 98Rock.


Tammy Pescatelli: July 18 – July 21, DC Improv— $17 to $20

This comic is down-to-earth and very Italian, both of which she harps on in her comedy. Recently, she co-created, executive produced, wrote, and starred in the WEtv reality show, “A Stand Up Mother.” But, her career really took off when she was one of the five finalists in NBC’s second season of “Last Comic Standing.” Pescatelli has been a guest on a slew of sitcoms and talk shows as well as a weekly writer for the “Fashion Police” panel in US Weekly.

Andy Dick: July 19 – July 20, Arlington Drafthouse— $22

Is anyone else surprised this guy is still doing comedy? He’s definitely been around the block and has (or had) his hand in almost every aspect of the comedy world, from acting to producing. He had his own show on MTV at one point, “The Andy Dick Show” and appeared on several other network TV shows. Dick has been in a ton of well-known movies, such as The Cable Guy, Inspector Gadget, Dude Where’s my Car?, and Zoolander (he was Olga, the weird masseuse!). He was even on Dancing with the Stars, which is kind of hilarious.


Flip Orley: July 24 – July 28, DC Improv— $15 to $17

Orley is America’s Premier Comic Hypnotist, and to be honest, I didn’t know there was more than one comic hypnotist. If you aren’t a fan of audience participation or being hypnotized, avoid this show at all cost. But you’re also a party pooper. Orley doesn’t want to embarrass his audience members, so never fear. His performances have also been showcased on Entertainment Tonight and the Today Show.

Kenny Zimlinghaus: July 31, Baltimore Comedy Factory— $20

Zimlinghaus is your average New York guy who hosts radio shows, primarily his show “Wake Up” which is on Sirius XM’s Cosmo Radio every morning at 7 a.m. (props to him for being a morning person). When he isn’t chatting on the radio waves, he’s touring around the country or writing ridiculous and silly songs to perform for his audiences.

 LYGO DC: Performances throughout July—$10

LYGO DC, formerly Laugh Your Grits Off, is a local comedy co-op that produces stand up comedy shows throughout DC. With popular Wednesday and Sunday evening shows at Codmother (1334 U St. NW) and Desperados (1342 U St. NW),  LYGO DC is also re-launching its brunch comedy series at Shaw’s Tavern (520 Florida Ave. NW) starting Saturday, June 15. It’ll be sure to make you snort mimosa out of your nose. LYGO DC showcases local, professional comedians in intimate, audience-centric settings that maximize the viewing experience. Check out the slate of shows at www.lygodc.com and make a reservation. All shows are just $10. (Words by LYGO DC’s own Max Rosenblum)