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WHERE WE’RE GOING WE DON’T NEED ROADS

Jan 6th: The DMV Roast of 2014 @ The Brixton – FREE (Donations accepted!)

This is your LAST CHANCE to see some of the area’s funniest comics come together to roast DC’s sports teams, public figures, and current events. For our final roast, we will be roasting the year 2014, which will be played by the hilarious Reggie Melbrough!

The Brixton will also be offering their Happy Hour drink specials from 7:00pm till 10:00pm.

This show will be free of charge, though donations will be collected for the artists.

Doors open at 7:00pm for an 8:00pm showtime.

Jan 7th: DC Improv Open Mic @ DC Improv – FREE

The DC Improv Comedy Club is proud to host a local open mic night in our main showroom. With more than 20 years in the comedy business, The DC Improv has been a comedy home for young comics such as Jermaine Fowler, Seaton Smith, Rory Scovel, Erin Jackson, Mike Birbiglia and Dave Chappelle. Now to develop up-and-coming comics the Improv is, once again, opening its doors for an open mic night. But please note this is not an amateur hour. We are looking for comics who have been working the scene and have solidified their Five-Minutes of Funny. If that is you, you just might be what we are looking for! If you have longer than Five-Minutes you might find yourself on one of our feature spots for the open mic. Tickets for this event are free to the public. To be in the audience you can RSVP via the link or just show up the night of the show. This is not a ticketed event and is FREE to attend!

HOW TO SIGN UP:
If you are interested in consideration for performance time on our DC Improv Open Mic please email [email protected]. Web submissions only. Please no phone calls. (DC Improv)

Jan 7th: Sometimes Pop-Up Comedy & Improv @ Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

Six comedians doing the best stand up routines that will have you laughing out loud.

Between each comedian, an improv comic will respond to a setting and character they will retrieve from a hat (or some other handy receptacle) This will result in witty one liners, silly jokes, visual hilarity that will cause you to smile hard and also the aforementioned laughter.

ZOMG This is gonna be so much fun!

Hosted by Michele Sometimes (obvi)
Comics: Natalie McGill, Andrew Bucket, Jenn Tisdale, Mike Olmikeb Brown, Brock Snyder, Sean Savoy, Alli Hanley and Nicki Fuchs! Also a group of the bravest Improvs around!

We also will feature a segment called “And That Just Happened . . .” which will be an amazing stupid human trick which is well…stupid, but also awesome.

*Please don’t try it at home, or do, it’s your life, I’m not your mama.* (FB)

Jan 8th: Rachel Feinstein @ The Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage – FREE

A nationally touring comedian and actress, D.C. area native Rachel Feinstein is known for her ability to morph into any ethnicity and even cross gender to skewer issues of race, class, and pop culture. Huffington Post called her, “The only comedian we’ve seen who can go from embodying her grandmother in one breath and a predatory guy on the street in the next and be equally convincing at both.” Rachel grew up outside Washington DC, in the mean streets of Bethesda, MD, the daughter of a civil rights lawyer and a blues musician, giving her a keen eye for the absurd and unjust. (KC)

Jan 9th: Church Night DC @ The Black Cat Backstage – $10 advance, $12 door

BLESSINGS AND LIGHT! Come worship with Some Souls Church at our new home at Black Cat DC. This is our very first service in the back stage sanctuary – help us consummate that shit! Guess who else is going to be there? THE LORD!

Guest Artist Ministers:
Inspirational Testimony by Pat Riley
Witness to Faith by Whiskey Joy
Children’s Comedy by Jamel Johnson
Praise and Worship Music with Young Rapids

Shots-n-Tots Communion Sponsored by Leopold Bros. NY Apple Whiskey!

Sing-a-long hymns. Happiness. 21+
Doors 9pm, service 9:30pm

www.churchnight.org (FB)

Jan 9th & 10th: Nick Turner @ The Arlington Drafthouse – $20

Nick Turner was raised in Richmond, VA and majored in acting at George Mason University. In 2011, he was named a “New Face” at the 2011 Montreal Comedy Festival and made his television debut on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.” Since then he has appeared on “John Oliver’s New York Stand Up Show” on Comedy Central and “Best Week Ever” on VH1. Turner also recently created, wrote and starred in a pilot for Comedy Central called “Crazy House.” (Drafthouse)

Jan 10th: Mo’Nique and Friends Live! @ The Hippodrome – $42.50 – $62.50 ($57.65 – $79.35 AFTER FEES)

Mo’Nique was born on December 11, 1967 in Baltimore, Maryland. She started in stand-up comedy on a dare and was soon appearing on It’s Showtime at the Apollo and Def Comedy Jam. She made appearances on Moesha and The Bernie Mac Show before landing a starring role on The Parkers. In 2009, Mo’Nique won an Academy Award for her performance in Precious. Now she will be live, back in Baltimore, after many years. (Hippodrome)

Jan 10th: Giulia Rozzi @ The Black Cat – $10 advance, $12 door

Giulia Rozzi is a comedian, actress, and writer that’s been seen on Vh1, MTV, CNN, TLC, Chelsea Lately, The Artie Lang Show, and Playboy TV. Recently she taped an episode of Comedy Central’s This Is Not Happening, that will air this winter. She is a Moth GrandSLAM champion, a Boston Comedy Festival finalist, a two-time ECNY Best Female Stand-Up nominee, and an alum of the Upright Citizens Brigade, Improv Olympic West, The Groundlings and Kimball Studios. She is the co-host of the popular storytelling series Stripped Stories and has written and performed two solo shows: Stupid Foreigners and Bad Bride, which toured the US and UK. She’s written for Girl Code and Silent Library and has been published in BUST Magazine, Esquire.com, The Huffington Post, xoJane and more. (BC)

Jan 11th: Patton Oswalt in Conversation w/ Dan Kois @ Sixth & I – $35 (includes book!)

From the New York Times bestselling author, multifaceted comedian and actor comes Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film, a memoir of coming of age as a performer and writer while obsessively watching classic films at the legendary New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles in the mid-90s.

After moving to LA, Oswalt started hanging out constantly at the Cinema, absorbing classics, cult hits, and new releases. The movies he views inform his notions of acting, writing, comedy, and relationships.

Silver Screen Fiend illuminates the larger history of the American comedian, offering historical context for today’s current comedic scene—and at its core, is a memoir about learning and developing a craft.

In conversation with Dan Kois, Slate‘s culture editor and a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine. Book signing to follow.

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Jan 14th: The Summer Camp Show @ Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

Happy New Year Campers! Time to head back to camp! We’ve got another wonderful camp session for you. The Summer Camp show is a camp session for adults. Your counselors Glen Hawkins, Natalie McGill, and Nate Johnson, will be returning, joined by Matty Litwack and other surprise guests!

As always, camp tuition is free!

Campers: we want you to to be well hydrated, but please buy your drinks in the treehouse (upstairs bar). (FB)

Jan 15th, 16th, 17th: Iliza Shlesinger @ Baltimore Comedy Factory – $17 – $28

Originally from Dallas, Iliza moved to Los Angeles after graduating from Emerson College. She is the only female and youngest comedian to hold the title of NBC’S Last Comic Standing. Most recently her debut one hour comedy special, War Paint reached #1 on the iTunes charts and was named one of the “Top Ten Albums of 2013” on iTunes.  It is currently available on Netflix.  She was the host of CBS’s syndicated comedy dating show Excused, in which she filmed 230 episodes. Iliza’s TV credits include TBS’ Deal With It, Comedy Central Presents, as well as NBC’S Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham, E! Network’s Chelsea Lately and The Soup, TBS’ Who Gets the Last Laugh?, and Showtime’s Pauly Shore and Friends and Bridging the Gap Comedy Festival. She is featured in the comedy documentary I Am Comic. Her live stand-up résumé also includes performing at the coveted Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, hundreds of clubs and colleges, and in various countries for our troops overseas. Iliza loves the troops and was honored to participate in The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff’s personal USO Tour throughout the Middle East and Europe. (BCF)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dean55m2OoQ

Jan 16th: John Mulaney @ The Warner – $27.50 ($41.50 AFTER FEES)

Mulaney is probably getting canceled so you’ll want to catch John Mulaney’s actual stand up (BYT)

Jan 16th: The Later Late Show @ Jammin’ Java – $5

The Main Stage Comedy Showcase is back with another fresh line up that is sure to not disappoint! Featuring the area’s brightest comics, doing what they do best: making you laugh. AND FOR JUST $5? 6 COMICS for $5?!?!? THAT”S INSANE!!! That’s less than a dollar a comic! 83 cents per comic, to be exact! WE EVEN DO MATH FOR YOU! So what are you waiting for? Be sure to be there for an amazing night filled with good laughs, good food, good friends, and good drinks. We promise you’ll leave with a smile on your face. DON’T MISS IT!

Line-up:
Andrew Thimmesch
Jeff Hysen
Matty Litwack
Martin Phillips
Jenn Tisdale
Benjy Himmelfarb

Hosted by:
Danny Charnley & Ben Daniels

Vibes by:
DJ Swift-T (FB)

Jan 23rd: Comedy on the Table @ The Velvet Lounge – $5 (supporting a local charity TBA)

D.C.’s Longest Running* Lady-Centric Comedy Show is coming back to the Velvet Lounge 2015. Some of the best stand-up comics in the D.C. area will be performing. You will LOVE the rest of your weekend if you come see these rad and talented women who have performed at the DC Improv, the Black Cat and the Bentzen Ball:

Franqi French
Alyssa A. Cowan
Rachel Dry
Michele Sometimes-Gray
Alli Hanley
Valerie Paschall

Hosted by one of our favorite funny dudes, Si Mone.  It’s $5. We will be supporting a local charity. We will announce the charity soon.

*We’re pretty sure it’s the longest running show at this point because we started in October 2011 (what?!?!?!), but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Presented by Lousy Humans (FB)

Jan 23rd & 24th: Dan Soder @ The Arlington Drafthouse – $20

Originally from Aurora, CO, Dan Soder started doing stand-up at 21 while attending the University of Arizona. After two years of playing clubs and casinos all over the southwest, Dan decided he’d had enough of extreme heat and venomous animals so he moved to New York to get serious about stand-up. After living in New York for 6 years Dan has been featured on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham”, Conan and appeared on Opie and Anthony. This year you can see him on Comedy Central’s The Half Hour and also see his commentary as a new cast member of MTV2’s “Guy Code”. (Drafthouse)

Jan 24th: The Daily Show Writers Tour @ Sixth & I – SOLD OUT!

The writers and producers behind The Daily Show perform “political-ish” comedy, followed by a Q&A session about how the Emmy-Award winning news show is produced. Standup credits of performers include, John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show, The Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Adam DeVine’s House Party,  performances for the USO in Afghanistan, and more. (Sixth and I)

Featuring: Adam Lowitt, Matt Koff, Bentzen Ball alum Jena Friedman, and Travon Free

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKobfb5H6Ws

Jan 30th: Don’t Block the Box @ Wonderland Ballroom – $3

IT’S TOO COLD. COME INSIDE.

HEADLINER
Rob Cantrell (Down from NYC! New comedy music album “Dreams Never Die” available now! Season 1 of “Last Comic Standing”, “The Colbert Report”, FX’s “Totally Biased”, toured with “The Marijuana-Logues”.)

FEATURING
Andrew Bucket (DC Improv)
Josh Kuderna (Baltimore’s finest! The Digression Sessions podcast at http://digressionsessions.com/)
Haywood Turnipseed, Jr. (The Bentzen Ball)

HOSTED BY
Reggie Melbrough (La Bomba)

Recurring Stand-up Events and Open Mics

Every Monday Night: La Bomba: A Comedy Show @ Little Miss Whiskeys – FREE

COMICS: e-mail [email protected] to subscribe to the stage time mailing list. Run by Ryan Schutt.

Every Monday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Big Hunt – FREE

Starting December 1st you have yet another opportunity to see amazing local (and occasionally not local) comedy at The Big Hunt! Comics, sign up at [email protected].

Every Monday Night: Jackpot Open Mic @ Jackpot – FREE

Comic sign up at 8. Showtime at 8:30. E-mail [email protected] for more information. This is a free show hosted by Martin Amini and produced by Silver City Productions. (DC Standup)

Every Monday Night: Open Mic @ The Sidebar (Baltimore) – FREE

This is quickly becoming Baltimore’s best open mic. There is always a good, attentive crowd and once someone shit inside of a clothes hamper outside of the bar. No really. That happened. Signup is at 8:00, show at 8:30. (JT)

Every Tuesday Night: Underground Comedy @ Vendetta – FREE

Every Tuesday night this show features DC’s best stand-up comics along with a few newer comics performing at Vendetta on H St NE. Many of these comics regularly perform with national touring headliners at the DC Improv and Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse. Vendetta is located at 1212 H St NE.

Doors at 7:30. Show at 8:00. No cover. You must be 21 to enter.

To perform email: [email protected](www.undergroundcomedydc.com)

Every Tuesday Night: Tuesdays with Funnie @ The Brixton – FREE

Tuesday’s at 8:00pm, some of DC’s funniest comedians come together to bring you a FREE show EVERY Tuesday night! The shows are a unique blend of comedy , music, improv, and vaudeville guaranteed to entertain! And not only that, from 7:00pm to 10:00pm, The Brixton offers Happy Hour The line-up for these fantastic shows is as follows:

First Tuesday – The DMV Roast Some of the area’s funniest comics come together to roast DC’s sports teams, public figures, and current events. Each show will feature a “comic stand-in” to act as the concept being roasted. Hosted by Christian Hunt of The Capital City Showcase.

Second Tuesday – Seed’s Speakeasy An alternative-soul music show that features some of DC’s finest musicians, hip-hop artists, and spoken word artists. Step into the underground and see some of DC’s hippest artists. Hosted by comedian Haywood Turnipseed, Jr.

Third Tuesday – “Improv”able See some of DC’s best improv groups put on a fantastic show! The performances rely on audience ideas and participation, so it’s your chance to be a part of the action! Hosted by comedian Reggie Melbrough of Don’t Block the Box.

Fourth Tuesday – The Romane and Lettuce Hour Comedians Romane Walters and Jamel Johnson present a vaudeville-style show with a hilarious blend of music, comedy, and everything in between! See some of DC’s best comedians put on a truly one-of-a-kind show! All of these amazing shows are free of charge, though donations will be collected for the artists.

Join us for the Funny! (Haywood Turnipseed Jr.)

Every Tuesday Night: The Last Resort Comedy Show @ The Bier Baron Tavern – FREE

Max Rosenblum hosts DC’s best comedians every Tuesday beginning at 8:15 p.m. for a FREE show. For more information email [email protected] (JT)

Every first and second Tuesday: Attack of the Comics @ Solly’s – FREE

Hosted by Haywood Turnipseed Jr. and Mike Brown. Get attacked by the hilarity! (BYT)

Every Tuesday Night: Premiere Open Mic Night @ Old Firestation #3 (Fairfax) – FREE

Starting March 11th and every glorious Tuesday after! Sign up via Facebook or on site at 8pm. Show starts at 8:30! (JT)

Every First Tuesday: Tuesday Night Lights @ The Wits End Saloon at Magooby’s (Timonium, MD) – FREE

Do you need a good laugh? Well, starting on March 4th at 9pm, join host Mike Finazzo (who has opened for the likes of Dennis Miller and Drew Carey), along with some of his hilarious friends for a monthly standup show! Tuesday Night Lights will take place on the first Tuesday of every month in WITS END SALOON (located in Magooby’s Joke House) and will feature new talent as well as comics from 98 Rock, Comedy Central, Last Comic Standing and PBS. Great local and national talent, reduced drink specials and IT’S FREE! (FB)

Every Wednesday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Big Hunt – FREE

Sean Joyce is really running some QUALITY rooms in DC. It’s always packed but not in a terribly uncomfortable way and please feel free to try out your new jokes! That’s the point of an open mic after all. Signup via email: [email protected], doors at 7:30, show at 8:00. By the way most of these comics have performed with nationally touring comedians so you’re in for a real goddamn treat. (JT)

Every Wednesday: Wonderland Wednesdays @ The Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

Head to the Wonderland Ballroom every Wednesday night to see some great FREE comedy. Each show has a regular comedian. The first Wednesday features Haywood Turnipseed Jr (Highway Robbery), the second Wednesday is Linsay Deming (Church Night),the third Wednesday is Adam Friedland (Funny Moms), and last, but certainly not least, is Christian Hunt (The Wonderland Circus). (FB)

Every Wednesday Night: Last Resort Comedy @ Town Tavern – FREE

Max Rosenblum hosts DC’s best comedians every Wednesdat beginning at 8:00 p.m. for a FREE show. For more information email [email protected] (JT)

1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the Month: Open Mic @ Epicure Cafe (Fairfax) – FREE

COMEDY RETURNS TO EPICURE. PREPARE YOSELF. IF YOU LIKE TO LAUGH, TO BE MERRY, TO BE WITH FRIENDS, BE THERE. IF NOT, DON’T EXPECT ME TO REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY. OR YOUR NAME. MAINLY YOUR BIRTHDAY, I’M USUALLY PRETTY GOOD WITH NAMES. Seriously though, comedy is back at Epicure! 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month, starting March 5th. Hope to see y’alll there!

COMICS: Interested in performing?Email [email protected] (FB)

Every Wednesday Night: Wednesday Night Comedy @ The B Spot Art Gallery/Smoothie Bar – FREE

Comedy Show, Open Mic at The B spot Art Gallery – Smoothie Bar – Tea Room located at 1123 Pennsylvania Ave SE. The B Spot was voted D.C.’s bests Smoothies in 2013 by the City Paper. Come out enjoy a smoothie, or some tea and laugh while watching some of the best local comics make boring regular life funny. The show starts at 730pm sign out at 7pm on the spot. (FB)

Every Thursday Night: After Class at The Science Club: Weekly Educational Comedy @ Science Club – FREE

Max Rosenblum hosts DC’s best comedians every Thursday beginning at 8:15 p.m. for a FREE show. For more information email [email protected] (JT)

Every Thursday Night: Cool Cow Comedy Showcase @ Arlington Drafthouse – $5

Join Rahmein Mostafavi and three of the area’s best comics for an hour of comedy, food, and drinks. Plus, it’s only $5. (AD)

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Every Thursday Night: Open M’Ike @ Chief Ike’s Mambo Room – FREE

Sign-Up @ 7:30!

Every Thursday Night: Open Mic Night @ The Comedy Spot – FREE

Pros, amateurs and new comers and teens are welcome! To sign up email: [email protected]. (The Comedy Spot)

Every Thursday Night: The Laughing Buddha-ha-ha @ Topaz Hotel Bar – FREE

10 local stand-up comedians perform, each for 3 to 10 minutes. But it doesn’t end there. Stay for “Everyone’s A Comedian” afterwards where anyone from the audience can tell a joke. The funniest joke gets $25 and a t-shirt. (CS)

Every Thursday Night: Comedy @ The Rhodeside Grill – $5

Hosted by Jon Yeager featuring a new hilarious headliner every week. Open mic spots available! Get ’em while they’re lukewarm. (JT)

Every Thursday Night: Benny’s HaHa’s @ Benny’s Bar & Grill (Potomac) – FREE

Starting February 20th. Sign up with Jon Yeager on FaceSpace! (JT)

Every Friday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Big Hunt – FREE

Sean Joyce provides yet another amazing open mic for DMV comics. As always sign up via [email protected] Doors at 7:30. Show at 8:00. Laughter forever. (JT)

Every Friday Night: ThreeGuysOn presents The Final Draft @ Arlington Drafthouse – FREE

The guys from the ThreeGuysOn podcast come to the Arlington Drafthouse and perform their best comedy material. It’s a free comedy show! (AD)

Every Friday Night: Silver City Open Mic @ Heaven and Hell – FREE

Hosted by Martin Amini. Performers get 5 minutes. Sign up on site. Email [email protected] for more info. (JT)

Every Friday Night: Best Laughs in Town Open Mic @ Benny’s Bar & Grill (Potomac) – FREE

Benny’s Bar & Grill hosts an open comedy mic every friday. Sign up here or on site. Extended sets (10 minutes+) available. Sign up with Jon Yeager on FaceSpace! (JT)

Every Friday Night: ComedySportz: TNG @ The Comedy Spot (Arlington) – $10

ComedySportz: TNG is our training class that performs most Fridays at 8:00pm. Since these are our newer performers, and they are eager to please and to impress you – we encourage our audience to shout out their most cruel suggestions to really challenge the players! Come shout out your most cruel and challenging suggestions! (The Comedy Spot)

Every Friday & Saturday Night: The Blue Show @ The Comedy Spot (Arlington) – $15

The Blue Show is all your friends from ComedySportz, but now we can say and do as we are so inspired. We do not stretch to make the material dirty, we just don’t have to edit ourselves – and some of us really should be edited. There is no age requirement for this show, but enter at your own peril. This show is NOT COMEDYSPORTz! Please do not bring kids, your mom or livestock to this show. (The Comedy Spot)

Every 4th Friday: Don’t Block The Box Comedy Show @ The Wonderland Ballroom – $3

Hi there. I see your Bing search brought you here. That is fascinating. Here has some great comedy. Here has some cheap drinks. Here has a dope dance party. You forgot what your original Bing search was. Should’ve used Lycos. Well now you’re here so enjoy yourself!

Every Saturday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Capitol Lounge – FREE

This Saturday night show features DC’s best stand-up comics along with a few newer comics performing at the Capitol Lounge in Capitol Hill. Many of these comics regularly perform with national touring headliners at the DC Improv and Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse.

Located at 229 Pennsylvania Ave, Capitol Lounge was named one of the 25 Best Bars in DC Right Now by Complex Magazine. “Whether you’re the diviest of dive bar divers, a Hill staffer or just someone who loves jukeboxes stocked with classics and $1 tacos, you can thrive here. While we’re on the subject of food, they have great specials on grub and liquor daily; just pick a day and you’re bound to score a deal. The staff is also very friendly, something that makes you want to keep coming back.” – Complex Magazine

No cover or drink minimum. You must be 21 to enter.

To perform email:
[email protected]

Every Saturday Night: Open Mic @ The Arlington Grill – FREE

Sign-up on site at 9:30. Comics get 3 minutes. (AD)

Every Saturday Night: Laugh Riot @ The Hyatt – $10

10 local stand-up comedians perform, each for 3 to 10 minutes. But it doesn’t end there. Stay for “Everyone’s A Comedian” afterwards where anyone from the audience can tell a joke. The funniest joke gets $25 and a t-shirt. (CS)

Every Other Saturday: The French-Kissed Comedy Series @ Silverline Studios – $10

On April 5th you can catch Thom Lutkenhouse, Natalie McGill, and your headliner Richard Whack. Hosted by Franqi French it will feature some of the DMV’s (and beyond) best comics! Every other Saturday so get on it. (BYT)

Every Sunday Night: Underground Comedy @ Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

No show December 7th! Private event, check back December 14th!

Every Sunday night this show will feature DC’s best stand-up comics along with a few newer comics performing at Wonderland Ballroom in Columbia Heights. Many of these comics regularly perform with national touring headliners at the DC Improv and Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse.

Wonderland Ballroom is located at 1101 Kenyon St NW.

No cover. You must be 21 to enter.

To perform email: [email protected] 

 

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