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February 4th: Color Me Funny Last Laugh Open Mic @ Sean Bolan’s (Bel Air, MD) – FREE

It is with great happiness and sorrow that we bid farewell to our Sean Bolan’s room this coming Tuesday, February 4th. The FIRST EVER Color Me Funny show was on May 1st, 2012 at this establishment and we have only been moving up and out into the world of comedy because of it. We appreciate everything they have done for us, but we are shifting our efforts towards weekend shows with bigger and better talent than ever before! Come celebrate with us as we host an open mic for ANYONE and EVERYONE that would like to perform! Show at 9. Everyone goes up! (CMF)

February 6th through 8th: Jim Norton @ DC Improv

One of the few mainstream comics that gets alt love, Norton is the most disgusting guy you can like without being a psychopath. This explains his burgeoning popularity. This run is already sold-out. (BW)

February 6th: Comedy Olympics @ Rhodeside Grill (Arlington) – FREE

Comedians compete in several different events/ formats/ challenges, chasing the $50 cash prize and the elusive Comedy Olympics gold medal. (FB)

February 7th: Comedy at the Hampden Mansion @ The Hampden Mansion (Baltimore) – $20 Donation

Hey guys, come over for a comedy show/party to benefit Special Olympics Maryland. We have Justin Schlegel from the 98 Rock morning show joining us as well as performances from Stavros Halkias, Josh Kuderna and Mike Finazzo. We are asking 20 bucks at the door for all you can drink liquor and beer, a great comedy show, light fare, and probably joke dancing and serious dancing. Come have a great time for a great cause. Feel free to bring friends. Feel free to bring other things to drink if you want. Still contribute 20 bucks to the cause though. Hang out all night. (FB)

February 7th: Color Me Funny Presents: Big Shuckin’ Comedy Show @ Main Street Oyster House (Bel Air, MD) – Free

You know I love wordplay so shuckin’ is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. Join your host Color Me Funny’s own Joe Greenway with Nick Carter featuring Daylon Morrison and your headliner Tommy Sinbazo (Laughing Devil Comedy Festival, Magooby’s, 98Rock). Aw shucks. (JT)

February 8th: Comedy Night in Fairfax @ The Greene Turtle – $10

Hosted by Pete Bergen, featuring Irwin Loring with your headliner Jim Pate. DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE SUBURBS. (JT)

February 8th: The Second Saturday S#!T Show @ The Ottobar – FREE

The DMV’s finest local comics bring all the show with some of the s#!t! Doors at 7:00, show at 7:30. (JT)

February 10th: TJ Miller @ The Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse – $25

Everything you need to know about TJ Miller is right here. Heartwrenching and hilarious. (JT)

February 10th: Kurt Braunohler @ The Kennedy Center Theater Lab – Free

Braunohler is the host of the Nerdist podcast K Ohle with Kurt Braunohler which is about everything and nothing at all. You literally need no previous knowledge of any specific topics to enjoy it. So fall into the K Ohle. He was recently named one of Variety’s “Top 10 Comics to Watch” and Time Out New York’s “50 Funniest New Yorkers,” and by all accounts (a few emails I’ve exchanged with him) is a very nice guy. Featuring DC’s own Sara Armour! (JT) Special post-show happy hour from 7–8 p.m. features a signature cocktail and a discount on selected food items. This program contains mature themes and strong language. Free general admission tickets will be distributed in the States Gallery starting at approximately 5:30 p.m., up to 2 tickets per person. (Traffic Circle Productions)

February 11th: Shtick: A HERlarious Night of Local Comedy! @ The Bier Baron Tavern – $10 Donation Online or $12 at the door

Don’t be swayed by the fact that a group of women performing comedy is called a shtick! This will be great and is for a good cause (Jewish Women International)! Featuring Katherine Jessup, Chelsea Shorte, Erica Johnson, and Natalie McGill. Hosted by Dana Fleitman with your headliner Sara Armour. (JT)

February 12th: Mortified DC – Doomed Valentine’s Show! @ Town Danceboutique – $12 Advance and $15 at the door

Mortified stars everyday adults sharing their most embarrassingly real teenage diary entries, poems, love letters, lyrics and locker notes … in front of total strangers. Come celebrate Valentine’s Day with some of Mortified DC’s favorite love-themed performances from years past! (FB)

February 12th: Color Me Funny Presents: Free Romantic Comedy @ Main Street Oyster House (Bel Air, MD) – FREE

Is there anything funnier than romance? What about a glowmance and everyone survives solely on ecstasy? Right, I digress. Color Me Funny is bringing your favorite comedy couples and “couples” together for one gut-busting, hearbreaking show. Laugh! Cry! Watch as your boyfriend doesn’t propose! Featuring Rachela & Isaac Hirsch, Jenn Tisdale & Nik Oldershaw, Justin Hancock & Matt Mahaffey with special guests Chris Colletti, Robert Andrew, and Josh Kuderna! Plus 3 mystery ladies will compete for the heart of Zach “The Sound Guy” Tree in a dating game! (JT)

February 13th through 16th: Christian Finnegan @ DC Improv

The man who was chubby on Chapelle’s Show 10 years ago is now the man that has a few well-received specials under his ever slimming belt. For fans of The Sklar Brothers and Keith and the Girl. (BW)

February 13th: Comedy Night w/ Mickey Cucchiella @ The Stables (Westminster, MD) – $15

Purchase tickets in advance, featuring Joe Robinson and Gabe Zucker! Make the drive. (JT)

February 13th: Story League at The Smithsonian @ The Smithsonian National Postal Museum – $15 Advance, $20 Door, $35 VIP

A handful of funny, true missed-connection stories from top Story League performers ( J LALONDE, DIANE IVEY, NATALIE E. ILLUM, VICTORIA ROCHA and SHRAKE), as well as winning videos from Smithsonian Associates’ “Missed Connections” Video Story Contest. (FB)

February 13th: Color Me Funny Presents: Free Comedy! @ Delia Foley’s Pub (Baltimore) – FREE

Join your cat-loving headliner Liz Miele (Late Night with Conan O’Brien, The Daily Show) all the way down from New York City (the city that never sleeps…with more than one person/night) along with Omar Shaukat, Kevin Read, Robert Andrew, Katherine Jessup, Dave Sack, and Ryan Shiflet. Hosted by Thezz Grimes featuring Ryan Schutt (SF Sketchfest). (JT)

February 15th: The Capital City Showcase @ The DC Arts Center – $10 Advance and $15 Door

The Capital City Showcase is the variety show that brings you some of the best comedians, musicians, and performing artists in the DMV. Hosted by Christian Hunt, it has featured some of the DC area’s finest stand-up comedians, sketch and improv comics, rock bands, jazz bands, acoustic guitarists, and hip-hop artists. Get your tickets here! (FB)

February 16th: Red Hook Brewery Presents: The Silver City Comedy Show feat. Jermaine Fowler @ Penn Social – $10

Hosted by Martin Amini & George Khouri. Featuring Rob HaZe, Jenn Tisdale and Simone Shiz with special guest Phil Ade and your headliner Jermaine Fowler from MTV’s Guy Court! It’s gonna be pretty great and as always there is an irrationally large game of Connect 4 available. (JT)

February 16th: Chinese Menu Stand and Smash @ Chief Ike’s Mambo Room – FREE

Chinese Menu Comedy is pumped to begin its bi weekly series of “STAND AND MASH” shows at Chief Ike’s Mambo Room. This show will feature three stand up comics doing 8-10 great minutes. Each comic will be followed by a different mash up of improvisers whose performance will have been inspired by the comic. Great comics. Great improvisers. Free show. For our first show, your comics will be: Emily Ruskowski, Josh Kuderna and Jessica Brodkin. Your pool of improvisers for this show includes (so far, cast subject to change): Brianna Lux, Mikael Johnson, Topher Bellavia, Ti Coleman, Murphy McHugh, John Windmuller, Kate Symes, Alyssa Wilden, Dan Miller, Taylor Durant, Pete Bergen and Josh Kuderna (DOUBLE DIPPING).

February 20th-21st: Colin Jost @ The Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse – $15 Thursday and $24 Friday

As sad as we are to see Seth Meyers go we can’t wait to see what SNL has to offer with new headwriter Colin Jost. There is no need to fear change. (JT)

February 20th: The Encyclopedia Show – Hockey @ The Dunes – $8 Advanced and $10 Door

Witness the vaudevillian extravaganza that uses art to dissect a different Encyclopedia each month with nerdcore charm. It’s that time again, once every four years where Amerika actually cares about Hockey…for a brief moment.  This Olympics, we’ve got a MIRACULOUS variety of comics experts, poets, and musicians exploring our favorite flavor of the month on ice… HOCKEY!!! (FB)

February 20th: Identity Crisis Comedy Showcase @ The Black Cat – $10

It’s back! More of the best names in local comedy will be gracing the Black Cat Backstage and making all of you laugh until you fall out of your seats. Here’s who we have this time: Randolph Terrance (Three Guys On Podcast) Herbie Gill (As seen with John Mulaney and heard on XM Radio) Chelsea Shorte (Little Spoons; Boston Women in Comedy Festival) Jessica Brodkin (Boston Women in Comedy Festival) Becca Steinhoff (Laugh Your Asheville Off! Comedy Festival) Stavros Halkias (Winner of Magooby’s New Talent Competition) Noel Manzullo (As seen with Brooks Wheelan & Mike Burns) Ryan Schutt (Out of Bounds Comedy Festival; Winner of 2013 District Comedy March Madness) (FB)

February 28th: DC Improv Comedy School Comics @ The DC Improv Lounge – $10

The DC Improv is pleased to present a new series featuring graduates from our comedy school entitled, “The DC Improv Comedy School Comics.” Each performer has taken at least one class through our school and are ready to showcase everything they learned in front of a live audience. Hosted by: Rob Maher with BC Shannon, Badar Tareen, Katherine Jessup, Thom Lutkenhouse, Matt Dundas, Sadie Dingfelder, Alex Barbag and Steve Nelson. (Improv)

Recurring Stand-up Events and Open Mics

Every First Monday: 8×8 @ The Looking Glass Lounge

This variety show is hosted by Brandon Wetherbee and features 8 performers who are onstage for 8 minutes each. (JT)

Every Monday Night: Open Mic @ The Sidebar (Baltimore) – FREE

This is quickly becoming Baltimore’s best open mic. There is always a good, attentive crowd and once someone shit inside of a clothes hamper outside of the bar. No really. That happened. Signup is at 8:00, show at 8:30. (JT)

Every Monday Night: HavanaHaHa Showcase & Open Mic @ Little Havana Restaurant y Cantina (Baltimore) – FREE

Signup 7:30. Laughs at 8! (JT)

Every Tuesday Night: Tuesdays with Funnie @ The Brixton – FREE

Starting on Tuesday, February 4th, at 8:00pm, some of DC’s funniest comedians are coming together to bring you a FREE show EVERY Tuesday night at The Brixton, located at 901 U Street NW, Washington DC 20001. The shows are a unique blend of comedy, music, improv, and vaudeville that are guaranteed to entertain! (FB)

Every Tuesday Night: The Last Resort Comedy Show @ The Bier Baron Tavern – FREE

Max Rosenblum hosts DC’s best comedians every Tuesday beginning at 8:30 p.m. for a FREE show. For more information email [email protected] (JT)

Every Tuesday Night: Attack of the Comics @ Solly’s – FREE

See some of DC’s best comics attack you with hilarity. Show starts at 8:30. (JT)

Every second and fourth Tuesday Night: Open Mic @ Tangier – FREE

Open mic comedy organized by Amanda Foster and Teresa Cagnolatti. Free show at 8 PM. Sign-up is on site and starts at 7:30. Bar extends happy hour (on drinks and hookah) until 10 PM to accommodate comedy attendees. E-mail [email protected] with any questions. (AF)

Every Wednesday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Big Hunt – FREE

Sean Joyce is really running some QUALITY rooms in DC. It’s always packed but not in a terribly uncomfortable way and please feel free to try out your new jokes! That’s the point of an open mic after all. Signup via email: [email protected], doors at 7:30, show at 8:00. By the way most of these comics have performed with nationally touring comedians so you’re in for a real goddamn treat. (JT)

Every Wednesday: Wonderland Wednesdays @ The Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

Head to the Wonderland Ballroom every Wednesday night to see some great FREE comedy. Each show has a regular comedian. The first Wednesday features Haywood Turnipseed Jr (Highway Robbery), the second Wednesday is Linsay Deming (Church Night),the third Wednesday is Adam Friedland (Funny Moms), and last, but certainly not least, is Christian Hunt (The Wonderland Circus). (FB)

Every Wednesday Night: Open Mic @ Touchdown – FREE

Every Wednesday, 8 p.m., hosted by Hemu Nair, Blake Premer, and Justin Hefter. Please e-mail [email protected] to sign up. Emailers get priority over walk-ins. 5 minute set for e-mailers. 3-4 minute set for walkins (and only if there’s room). All levels welcome! (FB)

Every Thursday Night: After Class at The Science Club: Weekly Educational Comedy @ Science Club – FREE

Hosted by Max Rosenblum and David Coulter. Signup on site at 8. It’s a lottery folks so prepare yourself! (JT)

Every Thursday Night: Cool Cow Comedy Showcase @ Arlington Drafthouse – $5

Join Rahmein Mostafavi and three of the area’s best comics for an hour of comedy, food, and drinks. Plus, it’s only $5. (AD)

Every Thursday Night: Open Mic Night @ The Comedy Spot – FREE

Pros, amateurs and new comers and teens are welcome! To sign up email: [email protected]. (The Comedy Spot)

Every Thursday Night: The Laughing Buddha-ha-ha @ Topaz Hotel Bar – FREE

10 local stand-up comedians perform, each for 3 to 10 minutes. But it doesn’t end there. Stay for “Everyone’s A Comedian” afterwards where anyone from the audience can tell a joke. The funniest joke gets $25 and a t-shirt. (CS)

Every Thursday Night: Comedy @ The Rhodeside Grill – $5

Hosted by Jon Yeager featuring a new hilarious headliner every week. Open mic spots available! Get ’em while they’re lukewarm. (JT)

Every Thursday Night: Benny’s HaHa’s @ Benny’s Bar & Grill (Potomac) – FREE

Starting February 20th. Sign up with Jon Yeager on FaceSpace! (JT)

First Friday Night: You, Me, Them, Everybody @ The Wonderland Ballroom – FREE

A comedy talkshow/lovely podcast hosted by BYT’s own Brandon Wetherbee. Regulars include Haywood Turnipseed, Jr., Dana Bell, and Adam Friedland. (JT)

Every Friday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Big Hunt – FREE

Sean Joyce provides yet another amazing open mic for DMV comics. As always sign up via [email protected] Doors at 7:30. Show at 8:00. Laughter forever. (JT)

Every Friday Night: ThreeGuysOn presents The Final Draft @ Arlington Drafthouse – FREE

The guys from the ThreeGuysOn podcast come to the Arlington Drafthouse and perform their best comedy material. It’s a free comedy show! (AD)

Every Friday Night: The Good, The Bad, and The Funny @ Heaven and Hell – FREE

Hosted by Martin Amini. Performers get 5 minutes. Sign up on site. Email [email protected] for more info. (JT)

Every Friday Night: ComedySportz: TNG @ The Comedy Spot (Arlington) – $10

ComedySportz: TNG is our training class that performs most Fridays at 8:00pm. Since these are our newer performers, and they are eager to please and to impress you – we encourage our audience to shout out their most cruel suggestions to really challenge the players! Come shout out your most cruel and challenging suggestions! (The Comedy Spot)

Every Friday & Saturday Night: The Blue Show @ The Comedy Spot (Arlington) – $15

The Blue Show is all your friends from ComedySportz, but now we can say and do as we are so inspired. We do not stretch to make the material dirty, we just don’t have to edit ourselves – and some of us really should be edited. There is no age requirement for this show, but enter at your own peril. This show is NOT COMEDYSPORTz! Please do not bring kids, your mom or livestock to this show. (The Comedy Spot)

Every 4th Friday: Don’t Block the Box Comedy Show @ The Wonderland Ballroom – $3

This month is the farewell show for DC comic Brandon Wardell (SXSW, LA’s Meltdown Comedy, DC Improv, Funny Moms, BYT’s Bentzen Ball, Lopez Tonight) who is returning to DC from LA to say good bye. Again! Featuring: Dana Bell, Michael Foody, Adam Friedland, Stavros Halkias, Benjy Himmelfarb, Matty Litwack, Jamel Johnson, Tim Miller & Ahmed Vallejos.

Every Saturday Night: Underground Comedy @ The Capitol Lounge – FREE

Another amazing Sean Joyce room! Starting February 8th he starts a new open mic in DC…and on a Saturday no less. That’s amazing! Signup by emailing [email protected] Show starts at 7. No cover. No drink minimum. No muss. No fuss!

Every Saturday Night: Open Mic @ The Arlington Grill – FREE

Sign-up on site at 9:30. Comics get 3 minutes. (AD)

Every Saturday Night: Laugh Riot @ The Hyatt – $10

10 local stand-up comedians perform, each for 3 to 10 minutes. But it doesn’t end there. Stay for “Everyone’s A Comedian” afterwards where anyone from the audience can tell a joke. The funniest joke gets $25 and a t-shirt. (CS)

Every Saturday Night: Benny’s HaHa’s @ Benny’s Bar & Grill (Potomac) – FREE

Starting February 22nd. Sign up with Jon Yeager on FaceSpace! (JT)

Every Sunday Night: Color Me Funny Presents: Open Mic @ Charles Village Pub (Towson, MD) – FREE

Signup early by emailing [email protected] or on the spot at 8:30. This is always a really good mic so I suggest getting there early and staying late. Don’t be that comic who leaves after their set. We all have jobs! We all have kids*! *DVR’d shows (JT)