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Before I review this movie, I would like to say: we WERE the target audience for it.

We love Scrubs, and Zach Braff in Scrubs, and against better judgment we can watch Garden State on repeat even if it really was not The Graduate when you think about it now, and even though Shins did not change our life, we definetly did buy the soundtrack.

All for Zach.

Heck, he even forgave him for dating Mandy Moore, we love his nose so much.

Also, we are relatively easily pleased.

We are. Just check our netflix queue.

Anyways, so pumpkin muffin in hand, high on sugar and caffeine and swathed in grey shawls we were ready to LOVE Zach Braff, his nose, and even Rachel Bilson all over again in his new movie Last Kiss

(directed by Tony Goldwyn who did a beautiful job on A walk on the moon,accompanied by an adequately sensitive soundtrack featuring Snow Patrol and the like).

And then-then we died.

First you can play a sort of a Kicking and Screaming game of cliché and text book bad ideas

(Ding! He is an architect!

Ding! He is 29 and afraid of turning 30 and marriage!

Ding! His girlfriend is beautiful and like a guy!

Ding! He does something stupid!

Ding! His friends do something stupid!

Ding! They all have to pay!

Ding! There is rain!

Ding! Rain on their love parade!

Ding! Even the seemingly in love middle aged parents have problems after 30 years of marriage!

Ding!

if you don’t give up you can NEVER FAIL !!!!!!

Diiiiiiiiiiiiing!

–AND NOTHING REALLY GETS RESOLVED)

Skippy should just have done Grover really.

No one is likable, not even the poor “beautiful and like a guy” girlfriend.

(well, Blythe Danner is a bit-but we just love her and her vaguely glazed, glamorous professor’s wife fashions, kimono sleeves, turquoise necklaces and all….)

No one has proper motivation/actual reasons to fuck up.

Aside from not being able to help themselves.

Even Rachel Bilson is reduced to a semi stalkerish role of a desperate coed.

Rachel Bilson is the person that gets stalked by Zach Braffs,

She DOES NOT stalk Zach Braffs.

Oy.

Haley and I held each other’s hand, tried not to cry or kill the characters, applied copious amounts of rosebud salve all over our faces and at some point looked at each other and said (the unthinkable):

Maybe we should have gone to see Employee of the Month instead.

Dane Cook blows and Jessica Simpson is well, Jessica Simpson but at least we would not feel like having to hide all the sharp objects in the house afterwards.

But then, maybe we would.

(on the upside we did see some super previews so we are looking forward to : FUR, The Holiday, Little Children and the obligatory sports movie of the season:We are marshall.

Word)

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