If last year was Hot Girl Summer, is this year Hot Zone Summer?
Covid-19 took an ax to a lot of the things we love about the season. That doesn’t mean we can’t still indulge in good, summery vibes, though; as long as there are cold beverages ‘n frozen novelties, hot grills ‘n warm hearts, we’re gonna get through it just fine.
For your convenience as we kick off Memorial Day Weekend, here are some of our most beloved taste tests and guides to keep the Bummer Summer Blues away:
- First, your Memorial Day Weekend 2020 Survival Guide ft. ALL of the live streams to help you forget about backyard BBQs with your friends.
- Here are a whole bunch of DC-area spots doing MDW carry-out and delivery specials, from DIY grilling kits to picnic packs to lobster rolls.
- A Hot Girl Summer joke has already been made earlier in this post. We are not afraid to make a Hot Grill Summer joke on top of it! But in all seriousness, our BYT Grilling Guide has permanently good tips from meat experts, like “no smashing, squishing or any other words like these”, “well-toned derriere means medium rare” and “BE BETTER THAN BUD LIGHT”.
- “Smells like something you’d use to clean the bathtub? Tastes like bananas if bubbled?” We tasted (nearly) every seltzer on the planet to weed out the weakest links. (YOU’RE WELCOME.)
- “Fine for when you’re already drunk.” An incredibly scientific rundown of every rosé Trader Joe’s was selling as of May 2018.
- “This is wildly dangerous.” Nothing is better than a popsicle on a hot summer day, except a popsicle on a hot summer day…PLUS ALCOHOL! (We know from experience!)
- “Probably the closest to what I feel a restaurant one would taste like. Definitely most balanced one so far. Not actually good, mind you, but not bad either.” Summer is for margaritas, so we sampled a TON of margarita mixes to find out which was (marginally) the least offensive.
- “I can’t taste the fucking difference. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME.” Drinking cheap beer becomes increasingly acceptable as temperatures rise; do they really all taste the same? An investigation.
- But why drink low-qual beer when there’s so much good stuff nearby? A LOCAL BREW GUIDE FOR YOU!
- “This looks green and tastes green. Like I’ve made out with Marvin the Martian and it was messy and embarrassing for us both.” Summer bods are irrelevant in 2020 (for multiple reasons), but if you’re down to clown with low-cal ice creams, we have a definitive ranking of the best (and worst) ones.
How are you kicking off summertime? Let us know! Tag us via #BYThings
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