I spent several nights at Dewey Beach last week screaming at the TV with my mom. We were hella pissed because James Holzhauer, aka Ken Jennings V2.0, was fucking everyone’s shit up on Jeopardy. The long-running champion had racked up over $2M in winnings, and it seemed like no one could defeat his game-breaking strategy; he would jump around the board taking the highest-value clues and making high-stakes Daily Double wagers, leaving his competitors flabbergasted. And I was real mad.
Some people thought James’ gutsy style was refreshing, but for me, the magic of the game was LOST FOREVER. Until last night, that is, when one Emma Boettcher (a librarian) beat James and BEAT HIM BIG. There are rumors that James purposefully lost because he was worried his career as a professional sports better/gambler would be at stake. Whether or not that’s true, I’M JUST GLAD WE’RE BACK ON OUR BULLSHIT!
All of that aside, I realized (with the help of a friend who said, “She looks like Michael Cera!”) that Emma is, in fact, an exact replica of Ellen Page and Michael Cera’s Juno baby as an adult.
Look at her:
LOOK AT HER:
Feel free to fight me on this one, but you cannot change my mind. She is the spawn of Page and Cera. She was raised by Jennifer Garner as a single mother. Jason Bateman is KICKING HIMSELF NOW.
And now you know it.