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It’s been six weeks of The L Word: Generation Q, and STILL NO REDEEMING QUALITIES FOR FINLEY, YOU GUYS. Or is it just me? (IT CANNOT BE JUST ME.)

For those of you going, “Who the F is Finley?” 1. Congratulations, your view of Jacqueline Toboni is still pristine, and 2. Finley (full name Sarah Finley) is a character on Showtime’s The L Word: Generation Q who is, in my opinion, borderline ridiculously insufferable. Which is a goddamn shame, because (as I just semi-mentioned) she is RUINING JACQUELINE TOBONI FOR ME! 

I mean, how did she even get here? Like, why is she a part of this story to begin with? 

1. I’m very confused as to what her official role is professionally, apart from handy[wo]man who I haven’t actually seen do anything handy? If there were receipts that she were some sort of wiz kid in the DIY department, maybe that would be a start re: unearthing some deeply buried semblance of a redeeming quality, BUT ALAS. 

2. Anyway, she’s here, she’s queer, and she will 100% steal all your beer – she mainly seems like a full-time mooch (I hate using the phrase “dead weight”, but kind of definitely dead weight), showing up at friends’ homes (it remains unclear why she has friends, by the way) specifically to eat their food and drink their alcohol (and plant-based milks) and swim in their pools, offering little in the way of recompense apart from the odd, “Dude, you’re tubular!” (Which, if Finley is giving you a self-esteem boost…well, that’s really not saying much. In fact, I would feel worse about myself if Finley sent any words of encouragement my way.)

3. She has zero concept of personal space, which becomes especially painfully obvious when Shane beams back into LA and says Finley can crash at her house for a bit; Finley takes this to mean “MOVE IN WITH ME PERMANENTLY AND STICK YOUR NOSE IN ALL MY BUSINESS!”, because (again) Finley is a freeloader who kind of super sucks. (Also, the level of obliviousness it must take to overstep bounds with SHANE is like…truly staggering.)

4. She is equally hopeless in the romance department, but in like, the most obnoxious way possible. You can for sure be bad with the ladies, but PLEASE DON’T BE A SLEAZE, BRO. Example: she hits up the lesbian bar and tries to schmooze everyone in the room (finally we see some realistic rejection) until she finally comes across one poor soul dumb enough to agree to a chat-up. And THEN she has the audacity to say, “Tight, can you buy me a drink?” (Not a direct quote, but you get what I mean.) Like, ???

5. You might be asking yourself, “Who would even be into that?!” As it turns out, a queer priest/pastor would be into that, which makes sense since it’s kind of part of the job description for a religious leader to see the good in everybody. And the queer priest/pastor is like, hot! But guess what? Finley fucks that up, too! When she finds out Rebecca (queer priest/pastor’s name) is all GLORY 2 GOD or whatever, she freaks, gets really drunk, and then shows up to Rebecca’s house while Rebecca is having a dinner party to go, “Hey I will stop being weird about this because you’re not even a real priest/pastor! Also, I love you!” (Again, not a direct quote, but close enough.) Obviously telling someone, “Hi, your job slash life purpose is not valid!” does not usually end well, even (slash especially) while intoxicated, so FINALLY Rebecca wises up and tells Finley to figure her shit out and beat it. 

6. And so here is where I thought we MIGHT see some character growth and redemption for Finley. Maybe queer priest/pastor would be the wake-up call she needed to take a look in the mirror and say, “Oh my god, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!” You know, maybe take some real steps in some sort of positive, or at least reflective, direction. But no, Finley continues spiral further down into the position of least-best L Word: Gen Q character. Granted, we do now know that she’s been fucked up by Catholicism and has a strained relationship with her family, but I would like to ask for a little more exposition re: why/how that has led to her being multilaterally insufferable. I genuinely hope there’s nothing super traumatic in her past, but if there is, can we start to hear about it so she can go from being one-dimensionally disagreeable to a character with some level of substance/purpose/ANYTHING? 

7. As if the choice to stay unevolved were bad enough, she takes things another step further and begins to drag others into her sinking orbit – Tess, who runs the lesbian bar and is a recovering alcoholic, magically falls off the wagon after like, an hour with Finley. Granted, the onus is always on the person when it comes to that sort of thing, but I do think it’s not a coincidence that being around Finley would drive a person to drink. (She is genuinely that annoying.)

8. And after drunk sex with Tess, and learning she has been an accomplice to Tess’ loss of sobriety, we get another moment of, “MAYBE she will NOW choose to look in the mirror and figure out how to NOT SUCK!” Instead, she goes over to Sophie’s (one of the aforementioned inexplicable friends) and goes swimming, briefly says something along the lines of, “Why am I like this? I feel bad about things!” until Sophie (IDIOT) goes, “No way! Let’s go out tonight and get hammered!” And so they do go out and squash what little introspection peered out from behind the impenetrable wall of suck earlier that day. And on the bike ride home, Finley goes, “Everyone hates me!” Here I am, like, “YES, GIRL! FINALLY YOU GET IT!” until Sophie goes, “No way, everybody loves you!” And again, the brief glimmer of hope for Finley’s character development goes sailing out the window.

9. FUCKING TINA IS BACK AND EVEN SHE SEEMS PALATABLE BY COMPARISON.

10. To be clear, I’m rooting for Finley to turn this car around! I want her to not suck! But will we see anything positive happen in future episodes? Well, Shane fortunately has put her foot down and given Finley a week to move out, so hopefully we’ll get SOMETHING out of that shake up. But after waiting for a month and a half for anything to make me feel differently, I’m definitely not holding my breath. 

Do you feel I am way off base? Am I missing something about Finley that you feel absolves her of everything I listed above (and more)? DO TELL! (Seriously, I wanna believe.)

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