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Where every month or so BYT’s newest contributor Jason scours the internets for those choice time wasting cuts and presents them here in digest form. We had too many Jason’s on board so we’re going with his cryptic and unwieldy myspace moniker “An Ironic Counterpoint To Your Sentimentality”. Actually, fuck that, it’s just going to be Ironic. Enjoy. ironic-small

First: A Mini-Leopard?

The Ashera Cat

No, to answer your question, you should not blame this little chap for Siegfried & Roy’s early retirement.  He has the perfect alibi for his whereabouts on October 3, 2003, when Roy got bit: he had not yet been invented.  This fine fellow is an Ashera cat, an exotic pet bred by combining an African Serval, an Asian Leopard Cat, and a domestic cat.  Allegedly, he is “street legal” and will actually allow you to take him on walks.  I think we should consider it a minor victory, however, if you can somehow dissuade him from eating small children.

Sure, it makes much more sense on so many levels to simply adopt an unwanted cat, and to spay and neuter cats rather than breed them.  But if you’ve got $22,000 burning a proverbial hole in your proverbial pocket, and you feel the need to be the first kid on your block to own a sort of mini-leopard, feel free to order yours today from Lifestyle Pets.

Second: My Little Ponies Have Feelings, Too!

Desiree Skylark’s My Little Pony Rescue Home

Yes, that is correct. This is a website devoted to “rescuing” inanimate objects to ensure that they receive adequate care. Awesome? Pathetic? Frightening? Inspired? Ms. Skylark’s website is a sort of Rorschach test for the modern age in that it has elicited such a wide variety of responses, and each person’s response tells us far more about him or her than it does about Ms. Skylark. Most find the site sort of endearing.  Personally, I think that anyone willing to make a donation to support Desiree’s rescue operation should have a court-appointed guardian oversee exactly how his next paycheck gets spent.  To each his own.

Third: Cats That Speak Human

Creating the Ashera was apparently not enough for the evil scientists of the world. Someone appears to be hard at work cooking up a cat that can talk human right back to her owners. Am I the only one to find this trend slightly disturbing?

And Finally: Squirrels

Apparently, you can build a sort of Rube Goldberg contraption for squirrels right in your own backyard.  This would not necessarily make your new-found friends any less feral, and certainly would not qualify them as your pets, but it would seem to take them one step closer into the realm of domesticity.  I predict that after several generations of squirrels, we will have them eating out of our hands and performing tricks for us at children’s birthday parties.