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Happy National Hot Dog Day! Let’s revisit one of our favorite if ___ were hot dogs posts!



Pacman is the ultimate classic arcade game, and I wanted to be as true to it as humanly possible without destroying the integrity of the hot dog. Toppings simply include Froot Loops as the ghosts, and a single Cheez Ball to represent Pacman, both of which provide a satisfying crunch. The irony is that all of these things will go into your mouth. You are the new Pacman. Think about that.

I grew up in a Sega-as-opposed-to-Nintendo household, and the blasphemy is not lost on me. However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy playing the shit out of games like ToeJam and Earl, or in this case, Sonic the Hedgehog. If you recall, Sonic fucking LOVED him some golden rings (they were his life force, after all), and so I decided to highlight that by topping this hot dog with Funyuns, which (if you are somehow unfamiliar) onion rings in chip form. (PS, fuck Dr. Robotnik, that guy was a real dick.)
mortal kombat

Mortal Kombat was undeniably a gore-fest, but that was also part of the appeal, wasn’t it?! “FINISH HIM!” followed by ultra-graphic portraits of your opponent’s demise = time well spent. I wanted to recreate that gore in a delicious and also fun way, so here we have a hot dog topped with mashed honey + ginger beets. Added bonus? You will look like you were in an IRL fight after you eat one of these guys // BLOODY TEETH VIBES FOR THE WIN! (Footnotes: if you don’t like beets then you will not like this hot dog, and also I will not like you.)


The Donkey Kong (or should I say DANKEY KANG…) is comprised of two key ingredients: 1. plantain chips (no, I am not a monster who would make you eat raw banana slices on a hot dog) and 2. BANANA KETCHUP, THE FILIPINO CONDIMENT-GIFT TO THE WORLD! I think you could only improve this hot dog by drinking a quarter water to wash it down, because #BARRELS.


Thank god for Mario, or else I might never have had a valid excuse to top a hot dog with a heaping mound of spaghetti. This is the perfect fuel for an Italian video game hero, you guys…it’s got carbs on carbs (plus I am assuming that hot dogs contain at least SOME protein), all of which is crucial in going forth to take to the sewers to combat pixelated evil. We went with a no-frills pasta in marinara sauce situation here, although I will note that the spaghetti was boiled in the hot dog water for an added bit of JE NE SAIS QUOI. (MAMA MIA!)