A password will be e-mailed to you.

Guys, if you know me at all, you should be well aware that I push PRETTY HARD for America to hop on the Wentworth bandwagon with each gloriously new season, the fourth being no exception; the Australian series returned this past week, and although it’s going to be difficult to dig back into the trenches after the perfect ending that came to us last season, I’m kind of ready for shit to get bonkers. And from what I could tell from the first episode, SHIT. IS GOING. TO GET BONKERS.

I’m not going to do a full recap here, because that might insert some unwanted spoilers for those of you who are just now (potentially) arriving to the game. (If you are new here, go back and read this for a better understanding of the plot.) But trust me, if you do nothing else this weekend, please just binge-watch the first three seasons on Netflix. (And when you finish those, hack the planet by semi-illegally online streaming the new episode. Not that I did that…) You will IMMEDIATELY see what I mean about this being the new OITNB, and you might (like me) walk away thinking it’s also the better OITNB. But only time will tell.

For those of you who have seen it in some capacity, you may be wondering what familiar faces to expect this go-round, in which case I’m happy to report that Bea, Franky, Doreen, Boomer, Liz, Vera, Will and a whole host of other secondary-but-beloved prisoners and staff are back at it again with the white Vans! I’m not so happy to report that Ferguson the Freak is also rejoining the mix, which, if you don’t know who that is, PLEASE GO BACK TO NETFLIX AND WATCH SEASON THREE IMMEDIATELY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?! So she’s going to ruin everyone’s lives for sure, but hopefully she’ll eventually get hers.

In terms of the kinds of scenes you can expect, there’s still plenty o’ sex, plenty o’ violence and plenty o’ suspense, and I am fully ready to roll full-throttle into whatever mayhem’s inevitably headed our way. Bottom line: do you fucking homework (which I have given myself the authority to assign) and watch the shit out of this show // THERE WILL BE ZERO REGRETS.