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Hi my name is Megan and I don’t want to listen to your F*CKING PODCAST. It’s not necessarily because I don’t like you, or because I don’t care about what you’ve chosen to discuss, but because everything you say during the allotted period of time will 100% go in one ear and out the other. And ain’t nobody (specifically me) got time for that.

I’m a visual learner, so if I’m not reading it or watching it or witnessing it firsthand, chances are I’m not going to absorb it. You may be going, “But Megan, don’t you like MUSIC?!” to which I reply, “OF COURSE I like music, but that’s different!” It’s different because I’m generally tapping into ye olde emotions when listening to music, not trying to access my synapses particularly heavily. (And for the record, unless I make a concerted effort to memorize song lyrics, I could listen to the same thing over and over until the day I die and I would absolutely still be unable to repeat back much more than the chorus, if that.)

Is this just me? I feel like every single person on the planet has a favorite podcast (and/or straight up hosts a podcast), so I feel weird owning up to the fact that I genuinely don’t like them as a format. Granted, I don’t feel it’s as polarizing as someone dropping a bomb like, “I don’t like TV,” or “I don’t read,” but it’s still something that I usually don’t bring up in conversation for fear of being considered an uncivilized weirdo when that’s only half true.)

Now, you will notice that I titled this “I Don’t Want to LISTEN To Your F*cking Podcast”, because I actually have been known to enjoy WATCHING a podcast or two. In addition to recording audio, some podcasters go ahead and film themselves as well, and MAGICALLY this solves my aversion. For that reason, I like The Financial Confessions by The Financial Diet, Dating Straight with Jack Dodge and Amy Ordman, the Jenna & Julien Podcast, The Mustards…the list goes on! But if these creators had not gone ahead with the visual component, I wouldn’t even remotely give them the time of day. I realize that’s kind of insane considering the host(s) and guest(s) are literally just sitting there not having a particularly animated conversation, and that doesn’t seem to be a huge step up from plain old audio. And isn’t filming a podcast kind of cheating anyway? Doesn’t it cease to be a pure podcast if you’re consuming it visually? 

I don’t know. Probably. But what I do know for certain is that unless I can watch a podcast, I’m not going to consume a podcast. So if you want me to join the party (which you might not, and that’s fair), this is a thing to consider.

But mainly I’m just here so people will stop suggesting stuff to me, and also to find out if I’m alone on this podcastless island. Am I? Either way, now you know all my secrets, and I know none of yours, because (I repeat) I don’t want to listen to your f*cking podcast. 

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