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As you can see from the title of this post, I cut my own hair with a pair of safety scissors and it was mostly fine!

To rewind, I knew pretty much from the start of quarantine that there would come a day where I’d need a haircut, and that when that day arrived, I was going to be my own hairstylist. (When you’re single, live alone and are committed to being as safe as possible, these are the kinds of things you easily accept.) 

I actually think I did pretty well in terms of putting off the leap of faith (considering this summer has been ungodly hot), but it finally happened – last Wednesday, I got home after going out for some groceries and said, “Right, THE SWEATY NIGHTMARE ENDS NOW.”

The thing is, I’ve actually had a pair of proper hair cutting scissors sitting in my Amazon basket for weeks, but I really don’t want to use Amazon, so I just never pulled the trigger on ordering them. And the only pair of scissors I own are of the safety variety, and came in a two-pack from the dollar store a few years ago. But also I had already made up my mind, so there was really no talking myself out of the decision.

I popped on a YouTube tutorial to make sure I had the overall gist. Surely it couldn’t be that hard. 

Okay, checklist time. Did I have a sharp pair of scissors? No. Did I have two hair elastics? No, just one. (Things were off to a great start!)

Rather than psyching myself out, I decided I was just going to go for it. That girl from the YouTube tutorial could do it, so why couldn’t I! (But also maybe I was just fooled into a false sense of security because of her New Zealand accent! Either way, it was too late to change the course of my own fate!)

I put half of my hair up in a bun, and then the remaining bottom half I split off to drape over either shoulder. I really went for it and cut the left side at chin-level first. Was it a bit slow going since my scissors were a bit dull? Yeah, but it also wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be! (BONUS!) Before I knew it I was standing with a fistful of my own hair in my hands and was like, “Well, there’s no turning back!”

I tried my best to match the length with the other side, and then I repeated the process after taking the rest of my hair out of the bun. And within like ten minutes I had done it! In like, such a way that I felt I could still leave my apartment and not excommunicate myself to the wilderness!

Looking at my hair closely, I do get the feeling that one side is a little longer than the other. But did that ever stop Jane Lane? Hell no! And I don’t feel like it’s ultra-noticeable. (And if it is, I don’t really care.)

It’s actually pretty fucking empowering to know that I can cut my own hair without bringing about mega disaster vibes, and it’s like a literal weight has been lifted off my shoulders to know I won’t need to brave going to the hairdresser anytime soon. Also this is genuinely the most fun (or at least the biggest thrill) I have had IN A WHILE. Like, I laughed so hard the entire time. (Which I wouldn’t recommend when holding sharp objects up to your face, but sometimes it cannot be helped!)

Would I recommend giving this a go if you’re in need of a trim and feel unsure about going to a professional? Heck yes! Worst case scenario you fuck it up a little bit, but also THIS IS A PANDEMIC and I feel like we all need to reassess our judgment/embarrassment threshold situation.

In sum – I am giving you permission to be the master of your own destiny. I believe in you! (But also please don’t come @ me if you experience less success than I did! For the record I think you look beautiful regardless of hair symmetry! K that’s all, best of luck, bye!)