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So you’ve had a rough week. You know how it goes: a heat wave happened, your ice cream melted, someone called you a shallow scenester, your boyfriend is insisting on wearing man-tanks, and work is, well, work. So you need a little pick-me-up. We get it.

For that reason, this Friday at our awesome NAT GEO after hours, we’re bringing CHERYL (will ruin your life) to you, a team of oft cat masked, completely magical, pro-dance-party maniacs which explores the themes of mortality, mania, the feline-human connection, the limits of shoulders, the flammability of dollar-store hair extensions, and the staining power of fake blood THROUGH DANCE.

They will be getting the party started inspired by NAT GEO’s BIG CATS exhibit and in order to get you in the proper mindset we asked them to give us a handy list of easy steps you yourself can use to ruin your life. Make the most of it:

1. Dump a bucket of homemade fake blood on yourself while wearing your favorite shirt. Then take a jar of glitter, unscrew the lid, and shake it on all at once.

2. Staple shoulder pads to your arms.

3. Replace your real hair with a clown wig that you hot glue to your scalp.

4. Tattoo a cat face onto your face and/or give yourself permanent makeup tattoos.

5. Have intimate relations with your housecat.

6. Eat nothing but Steamy Apricot Jazzcastle for an entire month.

7. Invite Judith Light, Tina Yothers, and Barack Obama over to your house without asking your parents’ permission.

8. Strap yourself into the backseat of a 1984 Jeep Cherokee with old spilt milk soaked into the rug.  Smoke Newport Menthols while only cracking one window.  Ride to Brockton Credit Union.  Upon arrival, chew Trident brand spearmint gum.

9. Burn all your American dollars and replace them with CHERYL “Murrency,” which is essentially worthless (except on the small island kingdom of Go-Go).

10. Accept CHERYL’s invitation to their penthouse in the cat-shaped skyscraper in Abu-Dhabi.  Unbeknownst to you, Nermal will be there, waiting.

11. DANCE UNTIL YOU DIE.

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