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Liza Treyger is one of our favorites. She performed at the 2014 Bentzen Ball and it was recently announced that she’ll have a Comedy Central half hour this year. She’ll be on @midnight tonight, August 18, and United Airlines lost her luggage so it’ll be exciting to see what she wears! -ed.

I got booked to do a show in Indianapolis but not at either of the two comedy clubs in town, but a super center place that had like bowling, laser tag, maybe a mechanical bull, I mean who knows but there were activities. I was there opening up for a man who did a lot of cruise ships, I don’t remember his name but he had children so I’m glad he’s providing for them. The stage was nice and the seats were filled and I had orange Grey Goose vodka.

I was excited for the weekend of shows. It was one of my first times getting paid for a full weekend and I was excited. I did not do well. The audience of middle aged married people were shocked when I started my set off with a quick herpes joke and moved on to fingering. It sucked. They were not into anything I said and I hate doing a set for an audience that feels bad for me, it’s the worst. Like mother fuckers, I’m speaking my truth and you should relax and experiment with a dildo. Whatever though, like, I’ve had audiences not like me before and thought nothing of it.

My friend Drew was performing at a club in town so we met up and went to the Cheesecake Factory. While I’m chomping on free bread I got a call from the man who booked me on the show flipping out. He was like what did you do, were you dirty and I was like, yes I was dirty, duh. He’s like well, they’re pissed off you went too far, when I saw you last time I didn’t get that vibe and they don’t want you coming back. I was like, I signed a contract and nobody before the show mentioned anything about being clean you can’t just fire me…well you can but you better pay me in full; you can’t mention rules later. So he said if I promised to be cleaner the next day I could come back and I was like yeah I’ll bring it back a little.

So I was back on the show until the show was cancelled because we were bumped by Kelly Clarkson. Her outdoor show got fucked by rain so they moved her into the adult Discovery Zone and probably was amazing. I like Kelly Clarkson.