People assume stoners do little more than sit at home watching old cartoons and eating the newest Doritos inspired taco bell offerings. However, this is a stereotype and stereotypes are bad. Like anyone else, potheads enjoy a stroll on the town, though they may be of a more distractible sort. Let’s not forget the valor and determination of such great legendary stoner adventurers as Harold and Kumar, Bill and Ted, Cheech and Chong. So let’s go on a happy hour adventure, you guys.
- First stop: Baked & Wired. No they don’t serve alcohol, but they do serve motherfucking peanut butter cupcakes. You also could probably use a shot of espresso because energy–you’ll need it.
- Just because you ate a cupcake doesn’t mean you satisfied the munchies–the curious condition that’ll have you craving pickles even after killing a bowl of sugary breakfast cereal (something close to the illogic of pregnancy cravings). Because how good does a cheese-stuffed bacon burger sound right now? Thursday’s they’re half off at the Black Squirrel.
- You want a happy hour that starts before 4:20? All draft beer is half off at Belga Cafe during happy hour Monday-Friday from 4-7 p.m. You should order a POT of mussels. Get it, pot. Giggles.
- Y’know what else is made better by pot? Music. While the Red Room Bar doesn’t have a happy hour, it does have the best jukebox in town. The only problem will be deciding what you want to listen to, you scatterbrained doper.
- Good Golly! You just remembered the Satellite Room has creamy delicious adult milkshakes. And you’re an adult and you like milkshakes. You must have this.
- Then you wanted to watch a movie, or eat chinese food, or watch a movie. Decisions are so tricky. Movie it is. Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse offers $2 showings on Monday and Tuesday. So get baked, get a beer, and get ready for Big Hero 6.
- Our adventure has nearly come to an end my friend. And like most great adventures, it must end at a diner. The Coupe has a full bar and offers happy hour. It’s the perfect place to re-cap the evenings events for the benefit of your terrible doper’s memory.