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It’s hard to imagine a time when there wasn’t beer gardens. How could there be beer without a place to drink it? And who’d prefer to drink beer in some hole-in-the-wall that smells of cheap stall beer instead of in the great outdoors? Since childhood haven’t people been telling you about the important of going out to play? So do what you’re parents would want you to do. Go outside and play, or rather, go outside and drink. And don’t come home till dark.

  • Part of the reason for beer gardens is the scenic quality of nature, because trees are beautiful and provide shade. Know what else is beautiful? Elizabeth Taylor, more specifically, the giant mural of her at Dacha. Go there and enjoy a pint from a boot in splendorous shade of her gigantic blues.

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  • Drinking at Bardo is like drinking in your good friend’s backyard. That is, if you’re friend was super popular, brewed his own beer, and kept rusted shipping crates stacked behind his house.
  • Food is also part of any good beer garden experience. At Sauf Haus they serve a pretzel bigger than your goddamn head. That definitely gives you something to think about.

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  • Last month Wunder Garden opened in NoMa. These dudes got everything, even an outdoor education classes. Which makes me wonder what my middle school outdoor education trip would have been like if we’d all been drinking beer the whole time.
  • The newly opened Piazza Beer Garden is in Bethesda and that’s okay. I’d like to believe in a world where beer gardens thrive everywhere. What a wonderful world it would be.

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