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Your mom went through the trouble of pushing you out of her. Like a tiny evil parasite, you sucked up all of her natural resources and then caused as much havoc as possible when it was time to be evicted. Then you were a moody teen who made her cry when you told her you hated her. The least you can do now, is take her out, get her nice and drunk and pay for the tab. Oh and get her a card. She’s your mother. She deserves a piece of paper to remind her how much you appreciate her.

Tabard Inn

This place is mom catnip, especially if you manage to score a seat on the back patio. The cocktails are outstanding, the service is attentive and your mom will leave thinking you’re a real adult who knows how to appreciate the finer things in life. Happy hour runs from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Monday thru Friday, but if you can, try and stay for dinner. That will really seal the deal.

Firefly

Looking for something a tad more casual than Tabard, but still fancy enough to feel like you’ve got your shit together? Hit up Firefly. You’re still close to all the action of Dupont (and parents love Dupont) but it might just be a little less crowded. Just make sure you’re there between 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. to enjoy the $5 beers, $6 wines and $7 cocktails. Oh, and all the bar snacks you could possibly eat.

Pizzeria Paradiso

If your mom likes beer more than you do, this is a great spot to soak up some craft brews. Grab a seat at the bar between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. and suck down all of the $4 drafts, $5 wines, $6 appetizers and $12-18 pizzas your heart desires. If your mom has expensive taste in beer, just let her order the cask aged thing. She only gets two days a year to do whatever she wants and this is one of them.

Etete

D.C. is filled with excellent Ethiopian food, and if you’re mom has never had the pleasure of stuffing injera into her mouth like a crazy person, this is the perfect place to start. Happy hour includes $4 house wines, $4 draft beers and $6 cocktails, but there is also a good amount of discounted food. Grab an order of the $5 injera Tacos or the $5 berbere fries and don’t stop eating until everything feels bad.

Oyamel

Moms love Oyamel. Dads love Oyamel. Everyone loves Oyamel. If she’s not marveling at the stunning interior design, she’ll go wild for those salt foam margaritas. Get there early to secure your spot and order $5-7 cocktail, $4 antojitos and all of the tacos you could possibly eat. If you really love your mom, spring for the tableside guacamole. It’ll make her day (and yours… because it’s amazing).

The Wonderland Ballroom

Does your mom like Miller High Life and dogs and eating on picnic tables outside?

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