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OK. You’re committed or something. That’s good. Please, be safe. Really. We know you hear this all the time and it probably won’t connect this time, but really, be safe this week. NYE is always a shitshow and the days surrounding it should be spent gorging yourself on high calorie foods, not enjoying happy hours. But to each their own. Let’s do this.

Monday, December 30

Slim pickings tonight. If you’re willing to head to the burbs, there’s a free comedy show at Jammin’ Java’s Main Stage Showcase.

From our FREE THINGS TO DO IN DC wonderful, weekly post: Get weird and wonderful with Washington Psychotronic Film Society’s CRAPTACULAR DEMONINATIONAL PAGANISTIC HOLIDAY SHORTS FEST, which we obviously hope is as bizarre and insane as we believe it will be.

Tuesday, December 31

This is not the night for happy hours. Sorry. It isn’t. It’s the night for spending $100 and drinking all you can drink. We’re not recommending that, but it’s what the night is. That being said, there are plenty of no cover parties in our New Year’s Eve party guide. We like what’s available at Little Miss Whiskey’s, Looking Glass Lounge, Haydee’s (if you can get there early) and Tropicalia. We also recommend stopping by parties around 2am. Whether or not you’ve been invited, come in, say hello, enjoy a drink, wish everyone a happy future and all will be fantastic.

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Wednesday, January 1

Once again, slim pickings for a good reason. If you’re willing to avoid to burbs (always), there’s Highway Robbery at the Wonderland Ballroom, an array of comedians, musicians, and spoken word/hip-hop artists. Host Haywood Turnipseed Jr will welcome you into the new year like the loving comedic father we all need.

Thursday, January 2

Things are getting back to normal. It’s once again perfectly acceptable to go to a happy hour. It’s fine when it’s not acceptable, but you know, it’s like, more acceptable to enjoy cocktails on 1/2.

Head to the Kennedy Center for Listen Local First’s monthly show. The year begins with Deathfix. How is this a happy hour event? It’s free and the Kennedy Center hosts a daily happy hour beginning at 5pm. Go. Go 365.

After the Kennedy Center head to Little Miss Whiskey’s Golden Dollar for Club 90, 90’s Industrial vs. 90′s Techno. No cover, cheap drinks, the chance to reenact your favorite scenes from The Matrix.

Friday, January 3

MORE GIRL GROUPS! NOW! Since we can’t just will that into the world, we can celebrate them at The Pinch at their FREE Sugar and Spice DJ Night.

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Saturday, January 4

From our SHOWS TO GET PUMPED FOR THIS WEEK weekly post. We’re including it here because it’s a free show and a good show.

Andrew Cedermark, Typefighter, Tree River @ Paperhaus

RiYL: people featured in Rolling Stone, Spin and Brooklyn Vegan who also still play at houses

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