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Are you tired of all the love talk? Tired of Valentine’s Day themed things? We’re with you. But where might be the best place to avoid Valentine’s Day? Where are you not likely to run into those disgustingly happy couples? A: The strip club. Bars with naked people inside are bars too.

  • Stadium is a lot of folks go-to strip club–for those people who have a go-to strip club. And while they might have they’re alcohol license revoked, it hasn’t been yet, so get there while the taps are still running.

kenny power's making it rain

  • Though you will spend an arm and a leg there, Camelot Show Bar is a less seedy establishment, where, as one Yelp reviewer proclaims, “99% of the stripers are beautiful girls with awesome bodies.” That’s the kinda of percentage normally reserved only for cleaning products.

like our fingers were dicks

  • Good Guys Club also has a happy hour and is not located in NW. The classiest bar in Georgetown, Good Guys Club offers Saturday brunch. Ever try eggs benedict from a strip joint? Now’s your chance. It’s for good guys!
  • For those left unsatisfied by the objectification of the female body, come to Secrets Ziegfeld’s for the objectification of the male body! Get excited for all that dude dick and whatnot, and every Wednesday they have shirtless dude drink discounts from 10-11 and 12-12:30. Can’t miss out on that, am I right?

kenny america