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Other cultures, especially in Central Asia, have long understood the wonder of milk and alcohol. The Mongols drink fermented mare’s milk like it’s their job. While I’d hardly suggest doing that, I would suggest an adult milkshake. Not just reserved for only those who have recently had they’re tonsils or wisdom teeth removed, an adult shake is a creamy indulgences worth treating yourself to, especially if you plan on eating a hamburger. It’s really what this country was founded on.


  • Once I heard that every time Dave Chappelle is in town he makes sure to stop by The Diner. Though I don’t know if this is true, it is certainly believable. Because it’s a diner, the place has every comfort food you could desire. Plus, you can wash it all down with a boozy shake. Happy Hour is Monday-Friday 2-6 P.M.
  • The Satellite Room was built to feel retro. This means the restaurant has focused on making solid burgers and shakes. That’s really what they mean by retro. There are six different adult shake options and happy hour runs Monday-Friday 5-7 P.M.

satellite room

  • Now you don’t have to go to Foggy Bottom to get Burger Tap & Shake. They’re now open in Tenleytown, so rejoice American University students. BTS offers a couple happy hours: there’s an afternoon one Monday-Friday 3-5 P.M., a late night happy hour Monday- Sunday 10 P.M to close, as well as Sunday 4 P.M. to close.

vincent vega milkshake

  • The Tombs is college spot, true. But college drinking destinations are good for some times: they have cheap drinks and often offer alcoholic beverages that don’t taste anything like alcohol. They also tend to have sweet daily happy hour specials. The Tombs is no exception. Happy hour is 3-6 P.M.
  • Ted’s Bulletin is a adult milkshake staple but sadly, does not offer happy hour. We are obligated to mention them whenever milkshakes are considered on BYT.


  • If you want to treat yourself your inner child but still seek to retain the image of a sophisticate adult, then get an adult shake at the Ritz-Carlton. Doesn’t that just sound classy? Happy hour at the West End Bistro is Monday-Friday 5-7 P.M.

 i drink your milkshake

Just joking Internet, I’d never drink your milkshake.