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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

Sometimes (always) the news is depressing and/or boring, but you know what isn’t depressing OR boring? Guessing games.

So, here are five haiku about some of the most talked-about news stories of the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about. Things were particularly dismal this week, so I apologize in advance.

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmosphere piece of Japanese poetry? Email me .

What my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.

a polar vortex
is, for them, just the ticket
made of ice, not gold
(bearded seals, wolverines, corals, and walrus, in danger from climate change)
raising awareness
or at least some posh eyebrows
obama’s no fun
we don’t seem to mind
when it’s lodged in foreign lungs
we keep selling it
(pro-asbestos business in india, propelled by the us)
amazed by the light
not lasers or disco balls
space phenomena
(supermoon and perseid meteors)

memories like smoke
we’re all children wishing for
genie to be free
(robin williams, rest in peace)