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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural. Sometimes, ‘haiku’ can even be a verb.

This week, haiku is a way for us to reflect on how absurd everything is on this entire planet. Enjoy!

maybe we are broke
maybe the drones are shopping
but black friday sucks

(black friday is boycotted, sales are down, as ‘black friday’ extends itself like horrifying demon squid ink over the entire month of november)

a rose is a rose
unless you try to name it
after kim jung-un

(kim jung-un does all sorts of idiotic stuff this week, including banning the use of his name anywhere)

what christmas present
for the girl who has it all?

(democrats give possibly-less-than-qualified donors ambassadorships)

try a new diet
five years in a cuban jail
really shaves the pounds

(alan gross begins his 6th year imprisoned in cuba. he’s lost 100 pounds)

*haiku by celebrity guest haiku-ist peter tiso*

reaching for the sky
their gesture of surrender
was anything but

(five st louis rams players protest ferguson verdict, very controversially, unlike anything else related to the case)

Want your favorite (most controversial) news story translated into an evocative and atmospheric piece of Japanese poetry? Email me.

Want my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.