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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

However, much like when you Swede a movie, when you actively use haiku as a verb, all bets are off. Sometimes (always) the news is depressing and boring, but you know what isn’t depressing OR boring? Guessing games. So here are five haiku about some of the most talked-about news stories of the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmosphere piece of Japanese poetry? Email me .

What my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys  to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.


in a southern turn
america’s war on drugs
is a war on kids
(central american youth migrant crisis)
it’s our favorite wizard
but do we know him?
(jk rowling’s harry potter follow-up)
dwindling profit
world’s tiniest violin
plays the big box blues
(walmart’s 5th straight quarter of negative u.s. sales)
hope for new headlines
but decade after decade
more rocket ping pong
(rash of rocket fire between in gaza)
little german kids
lost in the black forest learned
never follow crumbs
(crumbs bakery closing – hopefully foreshadowing the end of cupcake culture)