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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

Haiku reminds us that we can have poetic thoughts despite the anarchic despair and senseless destruction always bubbling up around us.

Here are five haiku about some prevalent news stories from the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

sensible choices
like pipelines and low taxes
they must be giddy

(GOP poised to dominate both House and Senate)

north carolina’s
libertarian pizza
brings joy and relief

(sean haugh runs for state senate in N.C. after a year as the pizza guy)

sometimes incumbents
really can’t seem to cut it
tea party problems

(in kansas, republican senator pat roberts in tight race with independent greg orman)

today in new york
you can help the government
join this century

(state ballot measure would do away with legal necessity to print legislation on paper)

following the trend
finally the inuit
could join green pastures

(alaska votes on the legalization of marijuana)

no need for moonshine
if they end prohibition
all hell will break loose

(arkansas decides if they’ll make alcohol legal statewide – 37 dry counties remain)

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmospheric piece of Japanese poetryEmail me .

Want my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys  to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.