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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

Haiku reminds us that we can have poetic thoughts despite the anarchic despair and senseless destruction always bubbling up around us.

Here are five haiku about some prevalent news stories from the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

The last one is our first-ever READER HEADLINE SUBMISSION!!!

maybe this new guy
will finally have a pen
and he’ll sign that thing

(ashraf ghani is sworn in as president of afghanistan)

you could maybe try
tying a billion dollars
to all of his limbs

(secret service security breaches are blamed on budget cut of $5 million from $5.46 billion)

they were shocked to find
locking them in small dark holes
didn’t really help

(rikers finally ends solitary confinement policy for incarcerated teens)

building industry
from the cushy green ground up
shades of leave and bills

(marijuana entrepreneurs start making political contributions, shape nation)

it’s not the rain they fear
in this umbrella revolt
tweeting at tear gas

(occupy central in hong kong intensifies)

BONUS HAIKU! Our first reader headline submission, from Nico Edwards of San Francisco, CA!

gold miracle root
will it help me find my keys?
cure my hangover?

(study finds turmeric may improve brain repair)

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmospheric piece of Japanese poetryEmail me .

Want my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys  to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.