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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

Haiku reminds us that we can have poetic thoughts despite the anarchic despair and senseless destruction always bubbling up around us.

Here are five haiku about some prevalent news stories from the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

they wanted to leave
until they realized that
they’d have no money

(scotland decides to stick around with england. for now…)

lucky trust fund kids!
if your dad’s a scientist
you get robot parts

(biomedical engineer designs a robot pancreas for his type 1 diabetic son)

a new role model
it seems the coolest people
are complete whinos

(gérard depardieu proudly proclaims he drinks 14 bottles of whine per day)

hey there smarty-pants,
want six hundred thousand bucks?
love, the macarthurs

(21 genius grant fellows receive 625K from the macarthur foundation)

a bunch of cute kids
eatin’ donuts before school
help dunkin ditch foam

(4th and 5th graders in massachusetts convince dunkin donuts to phase out all styrofoam)

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmospheric piece of Japanese poetryEmail me .

Want my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys  to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.