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Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural.

Haiku reminds us that we can have poetic thoughts despite the anarchic despair and senseless destruction always bubbling up around us.

Here are five haiku about some prevalent news stories from the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

an apple a day
one two three four five 6 plus
an apple to pay

(apple releases iphone 6 and 6 plus, apple watch, and apple pay)

if you’re missing her
all you need is to subscribe
to her shrilly voice

(sarah palin launches her subscription reality tv show – 77 episodes)

that long green inhale
smoky lungs and cloudy sight
make the journey rough

(long-term australian study finds that daily marijuana users 17 and under are less likely to graduate school, be happy, do anything)

thirteen years ago
our fear is a teenager
waking us at night

(the 13th anniversary of 9/11 – a poll find americans are more fearful now than one year after the attack)

a crown and a sash
a gentleman and a scholar
now he’s a cabbie

(september 5th is dubbed “bill murray day” at toronto film festival; he drives a cab for a saxophonist taxi driver)

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmospheric piece of Japanese poetryEmail me .

Want my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys  to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.