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By Lisa Markuson

Haiku is a noun that is the same in both the singular and plural. However, much like when you Swede a movie, when you actively use haiku as a verb, all bets are off. Sometimes (always) the news is depressing and boring, but you know what isn’t depressing? Guessing games. So here are five haiku about some of the most talked-about news stories of the past few days. You guess what the hell I’m talking about.

Want your favorite (most awful) news story translated into an evocative and atmosphere piece of Japanese poetry? Email me .

What my performance art and entertainment group, The Haiku Guys, to write original haiku at your next office party/event/festival/bar mitzvah/bachelorette? Email us.

lots of opinions
the blue pill: yes. the pink? no.
not a good hobby

what a show we’ll see
explosives in low pressure
happy birthday, us

always bickering
poor mr. poroshenko
cry-me-a river

love-hate relation
we devour the sugar
then we hide from it

someone keeps yelling
about the pride of nations-
their hairstyles are cool.

SCOTUS / Hobby Lobby
July 4th in Hurricane Arthur
Soda bans in America
The World Cup