Every day, someone stops me on the street and asks, “Are you a hooker?” I always lie and say, “No!” Then they usually ask, “Well, can I at least see your CRACK?” To which I respond, “Yes, for just $10.” Anyone can see my CRACK for just $10. Even you!
I’m talking about the wacky variety show that I host called CRACK. And hold onto your headbands boys and girls, the next CRACK show is tomorrow night. So if you have ten dollars that’s burning a hole in your pocket, give it to me! I’ll make it worth your while. CRACK shows only happen a few times each year, so you don’t want to miss it.
In case you’ve never been to a CRACK show, here’s a little CRACK 101:
CRACK shows are a mix of short films, live performance, and audience participation games. Watch this 2-minute video that has highlights from our last show.
CRACK, NOT JUST FOR GAYS
In case you’re straight. Let me assure you that you don’t need to be gay to enjoy CRACK shows. And coming to the show won’t turn you gay either. Here’s a before and after picture of a straight guy who came to the show:
THEMES R FUN!
Each show has a theme. We’ve done suburbia, Christmas, the circus, outer space, and hoe-downs. Here’s a fun video of the Single Scabies performing at our space-themed show, “Journey to Uranus.” Notice the super cute aluminum foil set design? Expensive!
Here’s one of drag queen Sunrize Highway performing at our suburban show, “There Goes The Neighborhood.”
CRACK SAVES YOU MONEY
The show tomorrow has a fairy tale theme with castles, waterfalls, forests, giant mushrooms, trolls, princesses, and other shit from children’s stories. Admission is just $10, but you can save $2 if you come dressed in costume. Just wear anything related to the fairy tale theme. Here are some options, or you could just wear a tiara.
CRACK IS PARTICIPATORY
Cabaret seating is limited, but there’s plenty of standing room. If you want a seat in front, get there early. The doors open at 9 PM and the show starts around 10. No matter where you sit or stand, you can always volunteer to be a contestant in one of our audience member games, like this family-friendly game called, “What’s in Uranus?”
CRACK WILL OFFEND YOU, HOPEFULLY
CRACK shows are raunchy, campy, and almost always offensive. Expect jokes about sex, crapping, abortion, religion, gender, politics…nothing is off-limits. Here’s one of our early performances that has lots of sophomoric poop humor. Don’t watch it if you get grossed out by poop.
I warned you! But not everything is gross-out humor. The show is also filled with random stuff like this:
And short films like this:
So are you jonesing for some CRACK? Then get your fix tomorrow night.
CRACK: Once Upon A Time
Saturday, February 27
Doors at 9 PM, Show at 10 PM
@ Town Danceboutique
2009 8th Street
Tickets are $10, or $8 if dressed in fairy tale-themed costume.
Get more information at www.CRACKdc.com