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Condragulations, America! You’ve just got gay marriage from sea-to-shining sea. This is a momentous victory for America’s gay couples – one that has been decades in the making. And while there is still much more to do (you can still be fired, or denied an apartment, in many states simply for being gay) we should take this moment to celebrate.

But, now that you can get gay married, the next natural question is “where”? Don’t fret, as we’re here to help you out and run down our list of the gayest places in every state for you to get homosexualy hitched. Here we go.

Gayest Places in Every State
to Get Gay Married
Now that You Can Get Gay Married in Every State




A University of Alabama Football Game
Tuscaloosa, AL

Sacha Baron Cohen’s flamboyantly gay character Bruno once visited the locker room and field of a University of Alabama football game. While the movie ‘Bruno’ was a bit of a disappointment, this scene from his television series is brilliant. It revealed how absurd hatred really is. The best thing? We guarantee you that within a few years, there will actually be same-sex weddings held on the University of Alabama campus.




Aurora Ice Museum
Fairbanks, AK

The first time we saw Frozen was at a special matinee sing-along version at Gallery Place/Chinatown. The first four rows were packed with parents and children, and the rest of the theater was filled with large groups of gay men singing “Let It Go” at the top of their lungs. Gays looooovvvveeee Frozen. We all do. Do you want to build a snowman at your Frozen-themed gay wedding? Then, you need to book it at the Aurora Ice Museum in Fairbanks.

A year-round facility, the museum features sculptures of ice jaguars, ice princesses, and ice knights jousting each other with their frozen-solid lances. On top of that, it’s got a fully-stocked ice bar. If there is one thing gays love almost as much as Frozen, it’s a good vodka luge. But, which one of you in your wedding gets to be Elsa? You both get to be Elsa. #LoveWins




U-Haul International Headquarters
Phoenix, AZ

The U-Haul brand is iconic to lesbian stereotypes. Every dyke knows the old joke “What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A U-Haul!” Just check out this official U-Haul tweet the day of the marriage victory, which certainly won the Internet. Why not embrace our favorite stereotype and have your gay wedding at the U-Haul International Headquarters in Phoenix? U-Haul International is located in a Mid-Century Modern tower building, making the architecture friendly to your gay-male guests. As a wedding venue, it is both gorgeous and practical – just like a lesbian.




The Designing Women House
Little Rock, AR

You can get married at Sugarbakers! You can get married at Sugarbakers! Yes, Designing Women was set in Atlanta, but its creators (BFF’s with Hillary Clinton, FYI) were from Arkansas. If you get gay married here, your wedding vows will almost certainly feature the words “That wasn’t just any baton, that baton was on fire!” along with the minister proclaiming you married by stating “And that, Marjorie, just so you will know, and your children will someday know, is the night..the lights…went out…in GEOR-GIA!”




Culver City Rainbow
Culver City, CA

In 2012, Sony Pictures paid $1.6 million to install a giant 92-foot tall rainbow in Culver City at the whim of some coked up gay executive with a large discretionary budget to honor the Wizard of Oz. The work of artist Tony Tasset, the art instilation (titled “Rainbow”) spans 188 feet from end-to-end.

The rainbow is on the grounds of Sony Pictures Studios, so there is a chance that your gay wedding could be star-studded. Although, its more likely that you’ll face the paparazzi lenses of Midwestern tourists on the popular studio tour.




Red Rocks Amphitheater
Morrison, CO

Ten miles outside of Denver is the outdoor music venue repeatedly ranked as “Best in the Nation” by numerous music magazines year-after-year. First opened in 1941, the venue can fit nearly 10,000 guests for your same-sex wedding. It is also where Stevie Nicks infamously got so coked-up before (and during) her 1987 Live at Red Rocks recording that the producers of the concert video couldn’t use any close-up shots from the show itself. If you go back and watch the video you’ll notice that all of the tight shots are actually shot in a Los Angeles sound studio, with Nicks accidentally wearing completely different outfits than the wide shots of the same “live” song. It’s amazing. So much so that we completely used this space as an excuse just to tell that story.




Turkey Hill (Home of Martha Stewart)
Westport, CT

This is where Martha Stewart built her empire, plotted her locally-sourced prison shanking strategies, and transformed herself from a Jersey Girl and Polish Catholic named Martha Kostyra into a Connecticut WASP. While she has since sold the house, this was her home for more than 30 years and the setting of her iconic television shows and magazine shoots. Having your gay wedding here? It’s a good thing.




Kohr Brothers Custard
Rehoboth Beach, DE

While Delaware’s gayest town may seem a bit less gay this summer to some, it is still has plenty of glitter in the old girl. It is also the hometown of America’s favorite functioning alcoholic/gay icon – Kathie Lee Gifford. Both Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb spent considerable time in Rehoboth growing up, and both continue to come back each summer. The Kohr Brothers Custard stand closest to (gay) Poodle Beach is where Kathie Lee got her first job. What better tribute to “Wine Wednesdays” than having your gay marriage smack dab in front of it on the boardwalk. Make it a “Kathie Lee & Hoda” themed event complete with several Kathie Lee drag queens, and half of gay Rehoboth is certain to turn out for the event.



District of Columbia

The White House
Washington, DC

No explanation needed.




Weeki Wachee, FL

Weeki Wachi is the only incorporated town in America populated by Mermaids. Of a total population of 12, almost every single adult works as a mermaid in the Weeki Wachee Springs Park – which has been entertaining visitors as a roadside attraction since 1947. The mermaids stay completely underwater during their daily shows, occasionally breathing through air hoses while spectators watch them in the springs through an underground theatre with plate glass windows.

The whole thing is rather vintage and magical. There really isn’t a place in Florida that screams “Gay wedding!!” louder than Weeki Wachee. And, yes, they do perform “The Little Mermaid”, but Disney doesn’t license their rights for shit, so the mermaids perform original and violent Hans Christian Anderson version which always terrifies-the-fuck out of the children watching. These mermaids just don’t give a shit, and we love them for that.




Climax, GA

Not only is this town named Climax, but its claim to fame (other than being named Climax) is its Swine Time festival where each year the town celebrates everything piggy. We can’t make this up.

Wanting to cement your open relationship? Why not get gay married at the Climax Greased Pig Chase? ‘“You gotta just grab them by the legs and hang on,” Chip Wray, swine handler explained about trying to catch a greasy pig,’ according to the delightfully titled article ‘Another Year of Greased Pigs and Fried Chitterling Eating in the local paper.




Bette Midler’s Synagogue
Honolulu, HI

Most don’t realize that The Divine Miss M is a Hawaii native resident. With a father working on the nearby Naval base, she grew up in “one of the few Jewish families in a mostly Asian neighborhood,” and attended the University of Hawaii. She told the Times of Israel that her family attended Shabbat services on base. “The Jews used the building on Fridays and Saturday, and the Christian Scientists used it on Sundays.”

The plain building of Midler’s childhood has been replaced with the Aloha Jewish Chapel, built in 1975. The building itself may be new, but the spirit of Bette Midler is eternal. If you are a gay Jew who is looking for a gay wedding site, this is for you. Hell, this is for you even if you are a Goy. Getting gay married in Bette Midler’s Synagogue is totally worth converting for, or at least confusing the hell out of your Presbyterian parents for the duration of the ceremony. And, if you are a gay, Jewish member of the Navy looking for a gay wedding venue – well, you just had an orgasm.




Governor’s Office (Governor Butch Otter)
Boise, ID

In gay slang, a slim, hairy man is known as an otter. And a slim hairy gay man who is rather masculine would be known as a butch otter. Otters are all the rage in gay culture (there is even a monthly otter dance party in DC called Otter Crossing). If you are looking for an otterific wedding, look no farther than the Governor’s Office of Idaho. Current Governor Butch Otter may be vigilantly anti-gay, but the has the most flamboyantly gay name of any chief Executive of the Country. He may not reach around but here’s hoping he comes around.




Leather Archives & Museum
Chicago, IL

At over 10,000 square feet, the Leather Archives & Museum has enough space to accomodate your kink-friendly wedding party. You can check out whips, cuffs, harnesses, as well as your old ball & chain.




James Dean Festival
Fairmount, IN

The gayest place in all of Indiana, sadly, only exists in our hearts as the fictional town of Pawnee from Parks & Recreation is just that – fictional. But, what Indiana does have is an entire town dedicated to the memory of one of America’s most iconic bisexuals (or homosexuals, depending n the source) – James Dean. Dean grew up in Fairmont, Indiana and the town clearly loves him. It hosts the James Dean Gallery Museum, James Dean’s grave site, and each September it puts on the James Dean Festival complete with a James Dean look-alike contest.

Your parents don’t agree with your gay wedding? This is a perfect place to be a rebel with-or-without a cause. The town conveniently scrubs the same-sex aspects from Dean’s biography (but hey, if Elizabeth Taylor goes around saying you suck cock, you suck cock). However, the festival does have a flame thrower contest, so we’ll take that as subtle, gay-inclusive sign.




Wedding at the Gem Sweater Museum with Leslie Hall
Ames, IA

Leslie Hall is a 33-year-old White rapper from Ames, Iowa who raps about things like gem sweaters, crafting, and gold pants. She’s got quite an underground gay following, and when Iowa became just the third state to allow same-sex marriages, Leslie began officiating. She has several Iowa same-sex wedding packages for sale – all at her Gem Sweater Museum (which is usually virtual, but she will create it in real life for your special day). While we think that Leslie’s wedding packages are meant as performance art, there is no doubt that she would actually gay marry you if you asked.




Oz Mueseum
Wamego, KS

Follow the yellow brick road to somewhere over-the-rainbow for your dream “Friends of Dorothy” inspired destination wedding. You can bring your own ruby slippers to your wedding at the Oz Museum, or they can simply provide them for you. Close your eyes, click your heels three times, and imagine your gay wedding completely filled with Judy Garland impersonators who never break character. Catering can be done by the nearby Toto’s Tacoz. Following your wedding, you’ll look back on the experience fondly and sigh to your loved one “we’re not in Kansas anymore.” But, hey, that’s what 10 year anniversaries are for.




Beaver Lick Baptist Church
Union, KY

Ok, we’re not sure if they’d be down hosting your lesbian wedding, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Beaver Lick Baptist Church is located in a stretch of the town of Union called “Big Beaver Lick” – which is next to Big Bone Lick State Park. So, there’s options there too for you fellas.




The Steel Magnolias House
Natchitoches, LA

Perhaps the last romantic thing your husband ever did for you was ‘enclose this carport so I could support him’, but you can always renew your vows at M’Lynn’s very own home (Yes, the same place the movie was filmed) in Natchitoches. And yes, it is available for wedding rental. Your colors? Your colors would be ‘Blush’ & ‘Bashful’ – two entirely different shades of pink. And think of the reception! ‘Fried chicken made by good Christian women’ and bleeding armadillo grooms cake (Note: caterers can substitute any animal for armadillo, except for snake due to lack of counter space).




Umbrella Cover Museum
Peaks Island, ME

No, this is not an umbrella museum, it is an umbrella cover museum. Curator Nancy 3. Hoffman (yes, she legally changed her middle name to that) started the museum to show that you can find “wonder and beauty in the simplest of things.” You’ll need that outlook in life if you’re going to be married to the same person for the rest of your life. It’s a whimsical place to have your gay wedding – rain or shine.




Herndon Monument (U.S. Naval Academy)
Annapolis, MD

Each May, a mass of shirtless, muscled twinks grease their limbs and climb a massive and lubed-up phallus in the middle of Maryland’s capital. Intertwined with the glistening muscles of their classmates, the Naval plebes grasp, stroke, and push their way to the climax where one of them literally tops the monument with a hat. Traditions like this are a reason why America won the Cold War, and why you should have your gay wedding here.




Faggot Hill
Boylston, MA

When it comes to Massachusetts, there are lots of options to choose from for your very own wicked awesome gay wedding. A Unicorn themed park, the nation’s first YMCA, multiple women’s colleges, and Rachel Maddow’s country home. But, we still have to go with Faggot Hill.




Ypsilani Water Tower
Ypsilanti, MI

In 2003, the circa 1890 water tower was declared to be “the most phallic building in the world” by Cabinet magazine.




Judy Garland’s Girlhood Home
Grand Rapids, MN

We’ve been here, and it is amazing in that there are no ropes or restrictions. For a few bucks paid to the (surprisingly very un-gay) Judy Garland Museum next door you can frolic through Judy Garland’s girlhood home by yourself. You can jump on her bed, play her piano (oh, the showtunes!) and scamper about. They owners seem content to leave you alone and while you technically aren’t allowed to do all those things – like Judy’s drug addiction – everyone just turns a blind eye. Getting gay married? There is more than enough room for you to just be JUDY! on your wedding day. Spacious lawn allows for a fabulous outdoor reception.




Whynot, MS

Gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states. So, if you’ve ever considered getting gay married in Mississippi – not that you ever have – this may be the perfect time to say “Fuck it” to Whynot. There’s not much to do in Whynot, but you probably don’t want to be spending too much time in Mississippi as it is. But, it does have a pretty decent dirt racing stock car track with its Whynot Motorsports Park. Just realize that when they advertise the local “drag race” it’s not the one you’re thinking about. Although, Miss Rachel Tension always seems to be sticking around to battle it out for the crown.




Branson, MO

There is nothing particularly gay about the Ozark resort town of Branson. It’s like Vegas, but instead of alchohol, strippers, and gambling, they have Jesus and chicken fried steak. But the shows!

Branson is the most flamboyantly gay celebration of heterosexuality that straight people have ever invented. Neon lights, glittery sequined shirts, jazz hands, and choreography – it’s basically where straight America goes to be real, real faggoty. The truth is, Branson could use some actual fags. The top show in Branson right now is a Broadway Branson musical about Jonah and the Whale. But there are dozens of other more traditional shows – all of which feature a redneck clown, a “Salute to the USA”, three Anne Murray songs, a little Gospel, a little patriotism, and lots of sequins and strobe lights. It would all be camp…if anyone in Branson actually grasped the concept of camp.




Montana Grizzly Encounter
Bozeman, MT

Who doesn’t love bears? At the Montana Grizzly Encounter, you can get up-close with the handsome, burly fellas. For the uninitiated, in gay slang, a “bear” is a large, hairy man. Think of Larry the Cable Guy, but attractive and well-groomed. Washington is home to the largest weekly Bear Happy Hour in the country (at the nightclub Town), but Bozeman is home to their wild cousins.

The Montana Grizzly Encounter is the work of Casey Anderson, an adventurer who has dedicated himself to grizzly bears. As wild animals, grizzlies do not do well in captivity. Anderson finds grizzlies being used as pets, or in rode side shows, and rehabilitates them here. The experience is open to the public to help educate them about grizzlies, their behavior (fun fact: unlike gay bears, grizzlies do not “woof” at each other) and how they should be encountered in the wild.

If you are a gay bear marrying your husbear, this may be the perfect location for you. The experience is nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, and not too far from Yellowstone National Park.




Nebraska State Capitol
Lincoln, NE

The Nebraska State Capitol is dubbed the “Penis of the Plains” by Nebraskans (and sometimes the “Phallus Palace” by old timers). This part of Nebraska is totally flat, so the erect 634-foot tall art deco tower gives off quite a peep show. And it is one gorgeous member of Lincoln’s skyline. Its thick shaft of Nebraskan limestone tapers towards the top, where it is tipped with a bulbous, golden dome. The entire thing is then straddled by a statue of a man planting seed. Seriously.

If you’re a Cornhusker, or just a “cornhusker,” then you may want to consider the Nebraska State Capitol in Lincoln for your own gay wedding.




Queer Mountain Wilderness
Esmerelda County, NV

Called “a land of extremes” by the ‘Friends of Nevada Wilderness’, the Queer Mountain Wilderness Study Area is adjacent to Death Valley National Park, making it literally the hottest place in the world for a gay wedding. It also hugs the California border, because – let’s face it- gays love California.



New Hampshire

Hillary Clinton New Hampshire Campaign Headquarters
Manchester, NH

We’re not trying to do politics here. But, it is simply a matter of fact that THE GAYEST PLACE in all of New Hampshire right now must be the Hillary Clinton campaign state headquarters in Manchester, NH. If you are a lesbian or gay boy in the Granite State, you’re probably already clocking in time volunteering here. Plus, the place will most likely be filled with tons of out-of-state gays who have given up everything to move to New Hampshire to work for her campaign. Black gays. White gays. Asian gays. Triracial gays. Southern gays. Northern gays. Tall gays. Short gays. Twink gays. Sports Dyke Gays. Bear Gays. Soft Butch Gays. Bull Dyke Gays. All the gays. It’s a cornucopia of gays. If you are looking for a really, really gay wedding – whether lesbian or gay male – this is the place. The only downside is that Chris Matthews might show up.



New Jersey

Lucy the Elephant
Margate City, NJ

Located on the Boardwalk two miles South of Atlantic City, Lucy the Elephant can make all your Moulin Rouge wedding fantasies come true. Built in 1881, you can get married right on top and hold your reception in the hall inside the belly of the beautiful beast.



New Mexico

Walter White’s House
Albuquerque, NM

No, there isn’t anything particularly gay about Walter White’s house or the television series Breaking Bad. But, that’s the point. Everyone loves Breaking Bad – even your most homophobic relatives. So, if you’re looking for a gay wedding location that will bring everyone together despite their opinions on homosexuality, rent the house where Walter White resided in Albuquerque. As a bonus, there are lots of filming locations around town that can entertain your guests visiting for your special day.



New York

Grey Gardens (Catered by Neighbor Ina Garten)
East Hampton, NY

The iconic home of Big Eddie and Little Eddie; every gay man (and a sizable amount of lesbians) knows this 1975 documentary about Jackie O’s bat-shit crazy – but fabulous – relatives by heart. It has everything – a gay gardener, a oversized sense of fashion, one-liners, nosy neighbors, and cats…lots, and lots of cats. Both gay men and lesbians love cats. It was so popular among the gays that they turned it into a Broadway musical, and a 2009 HBO movie with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore.

The actual Grey Gardens estate on West End Road in East Hampton has been restored in recent years, and is actually available for rental. It is down the street from gay icon the-only-woman-who-routinely-makes-gay-men-orgasm (besides Beyoncé) Ina Garten. Ina Garten’s specialty food store, the Barefoot Contessa (where she owned first before her rise to fame) is up the road as well. She doesn’t need the money, but if you are throwing a gay wedding at Grey Gardens, then chances are you can convince Ina to cater. IF you do that, it will be the most fabulous fucking gay wedding ever, and could only be topped if Bette Midler descended from Heaven and sang “From a Distance” as you walked down the aisle. This wedding is going to be so fabulous that even Jeffrey will make it in from New York.



North Carolina

The Original Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams
Taylorsville, NC

Nestled in the foothills of the Smokey Mountains is the manufacturing center and headquarters of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams. With comforting tones, sleek design, and modern details, Mitchell Gold furniture has long been the choice of urban gay shoppers. That is why it may surprise you that one of the iconic gay brands makes its home in one of the least-gay parts of the state. Although frequently in DC and New York, the openly-gay Gold himself makes his home here. These days, Mitchell Gold is known almost as well for his support of LGBT organizations and causes as his iconic furniture. There may not be a better place in North Carolina to get gay married than in the tiny town of Taylorsville, where you can confidently force your entire guest list to purchase high-end furniture from a Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams registry without any sense of shame.



North Dakota

10 North Main
Minot, ND

If we told you that Fergie Ferg owned a highly successful restaurant, you probably wouldn’t guess that it is in the most remote part of the most remote state in the entire country (Sorry, Alaska. You’re farther away, but North Dakota is still the least visited state in the union). We’ve partied in North Dakota, and “gay partying” means going to the VFW in Fargo on a Friday Night to meet your gay friends (yes, that is a thing there). But, even that is a five hour drive from tiny Minot.

But, 10 North Main may be the gayest place in all of North Dakota. Admittedly, the bar isn’t set that high. The affordable high-end restaurant is the product of a group of friends, including local boy-done-good Josh Duhamel, who went off to Hollywood to turn a successful career as an underwear model into a successful career as an actor, and somewhere along the line snagged “The Dutchess” herself as his wife. The couple still returns to North Dakota and to their restaurant. And while Minot may seem a world away from West Hollywood, there are still a strong number of gays straddling our national nuclear missile arsenal at nearby Minot Air Force Base (and those boys are thirsty). Whether you live in Fargo, Grand Forks, or Pierre, its worth making a trek to Minot to have your gay wedding at 10 North Main. We have a hunch that if you’re the first gay wedding in Minot, you could probably get Fergie to officiate herself.




Big Bottom Memorial State Park
Stockport, OH

About a mile south of the town of Stockport is the Big Bottom Memorial. With lush trees, a peaceful river, and gentle environs, it is surprisingly hard to top Big Bottom. This his the perfect place for a peaceful gay wedding. But, remember the history and tragedy of those who came before you did, as the memorial park marks the home of the nation’s only “Big Bottom Massacre”. #NeverForget




Oral Roberts University
Tulsa, OK

Oral Roberts was a flamboyantly homophobic Pentecostal televangelist whose parental and religious abuse drove his own gay son to suicide. Among other controversies, he was known for telling his television viewers in 1986 that God would up and kill him “within three months” if they didn’t give send him $8 million. They responded and sent him $9 million. It seemed God used Oral as an ATM for many things throughout the televangelist’s life – raising television money for a medical school, mission projects, hospitals, and office buildings. While the fundraising was always a success, the projects themselves were usually a spectacular failure. But hey, who’s gonna turn down the Good Lord for bad credit?

One thing that Oral Roberts did succeed at was building Oral Roberts University in 1963. The character Ned Flanders on The Simpsons is a graduate of ORU, and Congresswoman Michelle Bachman is an alumnus of its now-defunct law school (where she did extensive book research on ‘proving’ that “the United States was founded as a Christian theocracy, and should become one again,”).

For such a homophobic man, Roberts built a spectacularly fabulous and aesthetically-pleasing mid-century modern futurism campus. Yes, if you attend school here, campus policy will automatically kick you out if they find out you are gay. But, the architecture will still make you cum in your pants.

Dress conservatively for your gay wedding here. Women on campus are required to wear skits, and men suit-and-tie. And while you can’t be openly gay, you can be gay. After all, Marcus Bachmann took classes here. But, less we leave you on a dour note, #ItGetsBetter. Oral Roberts himself is survived by an openly-gay grandson, and there is a gay alumni group dedicated to helping students and (we assume) to appreciating the school’s oh-so-fabu architecture.




In Other Words Bookstore (Women & Women First)
Portland, OR

Diversity is the key at Portland’s In Other Words bookstore. No matter what feminist wave you ride, intersecitonality ensures that your lesbian wedding (in as far as a “wedding” is a false social construct whose embrace by queer women deradicalizes the natural woman-woman pair bond in trade for servitude to a patriarchal institution which we have fought so hard to free ourselves from) is a blissful one. In Other Words is the real-life inspiration and filming location for Portlandia‘s “Women & Women First” bookstore sketches. More than just a bookstore, it is a feminist community center which has has been serving Portland since 1979. Long a hub of Portland’s lesbian community, the owners and patrons have a good sense of humor about the whole thing and will welcome you with open arms.




Andy Warhol Museum
Pittsburgh, PA

When Pittsburgh native Andrew Warhola turned 21, he came out, shortened his name to ‘Andy Warhol’ and got the fuck out of Pennsylvania by moving to New York.  There, he lived his life. No, he lived life. Yet, when he died in 1987, his family quickly escorted his body back to Western Pennsylvania and plopped it in a Catholic cemetery like he had never ran away and sucked a cock. There’s something cruel in that fate, but it led to the creation of the wonderful Andy Warhol Museum (which holds thousands of Warhol’s work). Pittsburgh is now itself a town that has a flourishing LGBT and arts scene (and a vastly wonderful and underrated city, in our opinion) and is home of America’s spooktress Sharon Needles. The gayest place to have your gay wedding in Pennsylvania is perhaps one of the most fabulous gay-friendly venues in the entire country. Wherever you live, you should consider getting hitched at the Andy Warhol Museum.



Rhode Island

Sex Power God Party Brown University LGBTQ Center
Providence, RI

If you’re a homosexual with a trust fund, and one whose parents actively encourage you to take recreational drugs, chances are your parents’ money sent you and your sense of entitlement to Brown University. For 28 years, the school’s Queer Alliance ran Sex Power God, a bachannal orgy of a queer dance party/fuckfest which flouted gender stereotypes, sex shaming, and the $250,000 your parents dropped on your four-year education.

Sadly, the party was permanently cancelled in 2014 after no longer serving as a “safe space for sexual expression.” Of course, it probably had just as much to do with repeated media scrutiny (including a particular obsession by Fox News) and the dozens of Brown students who piled up each year in need of medical care after the party. Without Sex Power God, the gayest place to get gay married now in Rhode Island is probably the LGBTQ Center on Brown’s campus. But, unless you are an undergrad itching to get married, you probably won’t get gay married here. After spending your parents’ money on sex and drugs at Brown University, you’ll most likely move to San Francisco where you’ll spend your parents’ money on sex and drugs there (and as with Rhode Island, the locals will hate you).


South Carolina

Shaggers Hall of Fame
North Myrtle Beach, SC

Ask any gay boy in North or South Carolina if he can shag and the answer will be an enthusiastic “Yes!”. The Carolina Shag (otherwise known locally as “shagging”) is the official state dance of both states. Its similar to swing, except that the couple holds hands and only moves their lower body while their upper half remains erect. The dance is associated with Coastal South Carolina, and with White folk who somehow don’t see the irony in dancing to Black music while flying the Confederate flag. The dance is known by virtually every resident – from barbers, to teachers, to politicians (although we Googled “Lindsey Graham Shagging” and we cannot in good conscious show you the results).

The Shaggers Hall of Fame is located in North Myrtle Beach, the slightly-less trashy sister of Myrtle Beach. North Myrtle Beach is also the hometown of Wheel of Fortune‘s Vanna White – who everyone in North Myrtle Beach will incessantly remind you of the entire fucking time. We get it. For your Carolina gay wedding, you really can’t go wrong with the Shaggers Hall of Fame.



South Dakota

Gayville, SD

Not only is its name Gayville, but it has a rainbow on the city sign! What could be a better place for a gay wedding? Gayville (the ‘Hay Capital of the World’) has a somewhat bitter rivalry with its neighbor Meckling (the ‘Hay Capital of the Universe’). Regardless of has the most hay, we know who has the most Heyyyyy!




Pigeon Forge, TN

There is an entire theme park dedicated to one of America’s biggest gay icons. You can ride roller coasters, climb on Dolly Parton’s tour bus, and visit the official Dolly Parton Museum which is named “Chasing Rainbows”. It is the perfect place for a gay wedding. And for your reception? Nearby is “Dolly’s Dixie Stampede”, which is sort of like Medieval Times, but better. In addition to dinner and games, you’ll get to see your waiters and waitresses re-fight the Civil War on ostriches. At the end of the show, Dolly Parton herself appears as a hologram to belt out “Color Me America” – a song about patriotism, understanding, and racial harmony. What could be a better harbinger for your personal union than that?




The Alamo
San Antonio, TX

It was home to dozens of sexually-frustrated dudes held up together in a hot-and-humid room eagerly anticipating the arrival of a group of Latino men. In 1836, it was basically the gay bathhouse of the Southwest. Nothing would piss off Texans more than having your gay wedding here (other than calling the Alamo a gay bathhouse). That’s reason enough to do it.




Rainbow Bridge National Monument
San Juan County, Utah

There are many natural bridges throughout America, but the highest and most spectacular one they named Rainbow. It’s like its been waiting for this moment since the beginning of its formation in the Jurassic Period (it’s a real-live Jurassic Park!). Pretty much the only way to access it is by boat traveling across Lake Powell from Arizona. So, if your dream gay wedding features watercraft and getting-the-fuck-out-of-Arizona-like-any-sane-person-would-want, then Rainbow Bridge National Monument is perfect for you.




Ben & Jerry’s Factory & Flavor Graveyard
Waterbury, VT

Nothing says “Hey! Let’s settle for each other” than having your gay wedding at where they churn out Chubby Hubby. Although Vermont is one of only two states without a gay bar (the other being Wyoming), it has long been a utopia for back-to-earth lesbians and gay bed-and-breakfast inn owners. When it became the first state to pass civil unions in 2000 (how quaint is that now?), Vermont instantly became a gay wedding destination. On top of that, Ben & Jerry’s has long-been LGBT advocates and marriage activists for nearly four decades. They even have an action page on their ice cream website that shows you how you can help support marriage equality. Not only can you get a factory tour at their headquarters, and visit the graveyard of past flavors, but they cater…with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cakes.




Dyke Marsh
Alexandria, VA

The Dyke Marsh Wildlife Preserve is just south of Alexandria on the way to Mount Vernon. It is actually a lovely place. We had the good fortune one time to go on a lesbian hiking walk there, which we called the “Dyke Marsh Dyke March”. It’s great for bird watching, and has an abundance of wildlife. Truth be told, we still giggle every time we ride past on a bike ride. If you are looking for an outdoor lesbian wedding, you can’t go wrong with Dyke Marsh. Just imagine your bridesmaids walking ahead of you down the aisle ahead of you with their own “Dyke Marsh Dyke March”.




Sappho, Washington

Perched in the gorgeous Olympic Mountains is Sappho, Washington. Named after the lesbian poet who inhabited the Greek isle of Lesbos (hence, the term ‘lesbian’ as well as ‘sapphic’ to describe queer women), Sappho is a quaint town perfect for a lesbian wedding. It is directly adjacent to – we shit you not – the town of Beaver. Don’t expect much sunlight as both towns are only about 10 miles outside of Forks, WA which is the setting of the popular Twilight series (which you read, but won’t admit to).


west virginia

West Virginia

Lost River, WV

No, you aren’t in the wrong state. Yes, you are in West Virginia. The tiny town of Lost River is home one of the largest concentrations of gay people in the country. About 20 years ago, gay tourists from DC came here looking for an alternative to Rehoboth Beach summer weekends. What they found was beautiful scenery and friendly people. As more and more gay folks began buying homes and renting cabins, a queer community was put down about a two-hour drive from Washington. Don’t expect any pounding dance clubs, but you will find gourmet restaurants, wine bars, and a gay resort. Let the country roads take you home to the place where your gay wedding belongs…West Virginia.




Spread Eagle, WI

You might as well move right from the wedding ceremony to the honeymoon. For the groom on the go!




Bareback Championships at Cheyenne Frontier Days
Cheyenne, WY

Wyoming’s cowboy culture is so engraned, that they even have a cowboy on its license plate. Rodeo teams are as popular at Wyoming’s high schools and colleges as football. Go anywhere in Wyoming and you’ll run into a rodeo. And while most rodeos feature saddle and stirrup horse riding, the good people of Wyoming can also be found barebacking all over the state. And while barebacking at times seems to be a dying breed, given enough prep those who want it the most are certain to give it a try. There aren’t any gay bars in Wyoming, but the people’s fierce “live and let live” attitude ensures that your gay wedding will feel welcome in the “Equality State”. So, saddle up, or don’t, and enjoy your Western themed gay wedding right in the heart of Wyoming.


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