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Let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way now: people are going totally crazy when it comes to what they put in their mouths.

Now while we could go many NSFW routes with that line, this here is a family show. C’mon now.

Paying $295 for a burger? Minimally cray.

Serving your own genitals at a banquet? Um, okay yeah that’s pretty cray cray.

EATING SOMEONE’S FACE? I can’t. Beyond triple cray.

Needless to say, I’m starting to believe…

This is not how you do it, gays! You want to put your dick in someone’s mouth? You don’t sautee it and put it on a plate. You just don’t.

So what do you eat as a gay icon?

First, there’s (duh) anything that’s going to look like a penis or a penis going into something.

Grade A Glamour Ham:


And let’s be honest. You’re going to act gourmet 95% of the time, but don’t pretend like I’m not going to catch you at Mickey Deez on 17th st:

Okay, so now we know. Don’t eat faces, don’t serve up your own weiner when it’s unattached to the rest of your body, and for the love of god, DON’T MAKE BRITNEY HUNGRY.