To quote the beautiful Pee-Wee Herman, “Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer!”
Gay Icon of the Week: Instagram
BREAKING NEWS: Facebook buys Instagram for ONE BILLION DOLLAR SIGNS!! And apparently, dedicated users are not happy.
“YOU USED TO HAVE CRED!”
“I DON’T WANNA SEE OLD-TIMEY PHOTOS OF MY MOM!”
I’m sorry, but who didn’t want one of these taken any time they were on the boardwalk or at an amusement park?
Face it: we all did. EVEN YOUR MOM. I guess I’ve got my lens on “rose-colored,” because I’m seeing this as a plus.
Like a true gay icon, Instagram just wants to bring out the best in everyone. And like a totally shallow, vapid gay icon, we’re talking physical best. Everyone looks better with a little sepia and a vignette.
SHABBY CHIC LINDSAY LOHAN!
VINTAGE AND CLEAN SHAVEN BRITNEY!
Even Sharon Needles looks a little softer…
And I also think we’re overlooking the most crucial part: If everyone now joins Instagram, that means less time to post my absolute least favorite thing on FB: PREGNANCY UPDATES.
You know which ones I’m talking about: “Just wanna say my fetus is now the size of a ping pong ball!” and the always lovely, “OMG YOU GUYZ IT’S TOTALLY CROWNING!”
So look on the bright side. Those people from high school you never really cared to add are going to look a little easier on the eyes, you’ll be able to truthfully “like” a post from your mom, and you can continue to shamelessly take photos of yourself before you go out. HIGH FIVES FOR EVERYONE.
Except for that ping pong ball fetus.