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By Matt Byrne. Byrne is a freelance writer based in Chicago, IL. He runs The Steamroller, a blog about the alt/not shitty comedy scene.

Oh hell yeah, pimp, it’s the fourth edition of funny human of the week. This week, we’re talking about Conner O’Malley, a former Chicagoan who now lives in NYC, writing for Late Night with Seth Meyers, which premiered last night. He’s one of the few people on the planet whose work within the medium has justified the existence of Vine. The spittle-flecked, fearful persona that he rarely drops online is so deep and fully realized that the seven seconds afforded to Vine users is more than enough to communicate his worship of power, guns, and the luxuries afforded to old white men with money.

Channeling the most monstrous, power-hungry parts of the masculine id, Conner’s transformed himself into the physical embodiment of an aggressively misspelled Craigslist ad. He showers terrified/bemused retirees in Camaros with reverent screams of “God made you better than me!” and accosts overdressed 27-year-old businessdudes hanging outside of a nightclub with chants of “White people! White people!”

YouTube user Danny Vega was nice enough to compile many of Conner’s best Vines into one 4 1/2 minute long video. It’s a great introduction to his work; let’s watch it together!


Conner’s Twitter feed is another source of violently debased goofs. Here’s a brief glimpse at part of his daily routine:


Sometimes he offers dating advice:



And sometimes he weighs in on today’s hot-button issues:



Conner’s collaborated with Chicago-based filmmaker Mark Colomb on a series of shorts, many of which are completely great. Like this one, about a group of sad men who get together and listen to Fleetwood Mac together:

Or this one, about a real life Shrek hunter:

Conner’s a regular on The Chris Gethard Show, one of the best things this garbage world has ever churned out. To play us out, here’s a clip of him appearing as his beloved character, The Beast Masturbator, leading the studio audience (and special guest, Mad Men’s Rich Sommer) in a prayer.