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When I first met James Horn he was Mike Isabella’s right hand man at Bandolero (and for all sorts of troubling antics, or so I hear…).  Now he’s living the dream as the new butcher/line cook at Bourbon Steak, a BYT favorite for both food and drink.  So I knew we had to get his tale of revelry on paper, especially during that extra crucial time between gigs, where the most trouble could happen.  From Oyster Luges to Porrons-a-Plenty and shotgunning beers on a battleship, Horn didn’t disappoint.  Just do me a favor, don’t try this at home — the excessive drinking or the perrons.  You and your head will thank me later.


Friday 7/20

  • 11am – Began my day with a 32 oz blue flavored Gatorade.  I had just got back from a long overdue vacation Puerto Rico the night before, and was very dehydrated, tired, and sunburned.  Despite what all of the sugared drink haters have to say, Gatorade remains my non-alcoholic, cure-all beverage of choice.
  • 12:30PM – I had lunch at A Litteri, a great Italian market in NE which boasts a speakeasy-ish deli counter. I washed down my chicken parm with a Sprecher’s Grape soda.
  • 2:30PM –  I then met up with my buddy Chris Schmid (and well known BYT Bar Manager) on H St. at Beirgarden Haus for an afternoon liter of Warsteiner. While at the bar, their bar manager was trying to decide on a gluten free beer for the menu, and was nice enough to sample us on his selection of Widmer Omission and Red Bridge beers. All three were decidedly unpalatable. Long live gluten.
  • 7:30PM –  I had a shot of Hum liquor and a glass of Fluerason Cremant before heading to Capital Hill for the new Hank’s soft opening.
  • 8:15PM – Here at Hank’s, I consumed a tipple of Gina’s daily punch, and one of the best cocktails I’ve had in recent memory, the Forgetfully, Fernet. At dinner we were served an oyster in a very conspicuously shaped shell. The shape of the shell immediately caused us to think “oyster luge,” and a new device for drinking alcohol was born. We proceeded to drink a few beers out of the oyster shell. After dinner we went up to the bar to visit Gina, where she poured us a shot of Jameson with a freshly shucked oyster. Shot downed, oyster slurped, and the “oyster back” was born.
  • 10:30 – We then went to a going away party at a friend’s apartment. Everyone was drunk when we got there so Schmid and I tried to catch up really fast while there was still some booze left. I had a can of PBR, a grapefruit and vodka, a shot of ouzo, a glass of French rose, a Dogfish 60 minute IPA, and a shot of Patron silver.
  • 12AM – On the walk home we stumbled into Bar Pilar for a Magners cider. Then went to bed.

Saturday 7/21

  • 10AM – Woke up in pain, and drank a lot of water.
  • 12PM – My girlfriend and I went to the BYT event at the new Union Market in NE. I had Vitamin water XXX, and a few different beers from Flying Dog. One of those was drunk while sliding down and inflatable battleship.
  • 7PM – After a mid-day nap, had 2 Hendricks martinis at restaurant 701 before seeing Batman in the IMAX theatre in the Smithsonian.
  • 9PM – During the movie I had a bottle of Haufbrau and a few rips of a half bottle of Clos du Bois Merlot my girlfriend was drinking. Gotta keep it classy.

Sunday 7/22

  • 9:30am – 2 glasses of water.
  • 1PM – brunch at L’enphant in Adams Morgan, where I had a Bloody Mary and some water.
  • 3PM – I stopped by Graffiato mid-day and had one of Taha Ismail’s new cocktails, La Vida Rosa. If you haven’t seen what’s going on with the cocktail program at Graffiato recently, you need to check it out ASAP.I also had a watermelon-lemongrass soda.
  • 8PM – I cooked dinner for my girlfriend Grace and I, and we drank a bottle of NV Laurent-Perrier.


Monday 7/23

  • 9AM – 2 glasses of water.
  • 10AM – Went into work, and had 2 large glasses of pink lemonade, and a red Vitamin water.
  • 8PM – We were 900 Open Table points short of 10,000 (where you get a $100 check) so we actually made reservations to Front Page in DuPont, which was worth 1,000 points.  Table for two, preferably far away from the Red Bull fridge and flavored vodka wall, please.  I had a Miller Light draft to fit in.


Tuesday 7/24

  • 8:45AM – Had a 32 oz orange Gatorade, went to work. I drank water all day.
  • 10:30PM – Left work, amd went to Pharmacy bar in Adams Morgan for a former co-workers’ going away party.  I had 2 Yuenglings, 2 shots of fernet, and a shot of Jameson.
  • 12AM – Went home, had water, went to bed.

Wednesday 7/25

  • 10AM –  had some water.
  • 11:30AM – I went to lunch at Sundevich, and had a bottle of Orangina.
  • 3:30PM – We went to the patio at Rivers restaurant at the Watergate and had 2 glasses of sparkling wine.
  • 6PM – Had a cook out on my buddy’s patio. Made some mussels with chorizo and grilled some Houlumi. Drank a bunch of sparkling wine. The sight of the spent mussel shells brought on urges to do some “mussel-backs,” but thoughts of the oyster-back hangover quickly quelled that thought.


Thursday 7/26

  • 8AM – Woke up and drank some water
  • 9:30AM – Met my friend Chris Schmid at East Potomac golf course for a nice round of golf. Turned out it was really, really hot that day. We each had a tall boy of Kolsh, and on the back nine killed a bottle of prosecco each. We sabred one of the bottles with my pitching wedge. We both shot 89, and went into a playoff, where Chris choked and hit his second shot out of bounds and into the public swimming pool.
  • 8PM – After a brief attempt to go out after golf and drink, I fell asleep for about 4 hours due to sun and dehydration. I woke up and drank an Orangina, 2 blue gatorades, and a Boylands grape soda.
  • 9PM – Went to dinner at Posto on 14th St. Had a Hendricks martini and a glass of Aglianico.

Friday 7/27

  • 11AM – Slept in, drank an orange Gatorade.
  • 12PM – Went to Estadio for some snacks and some day drinking.  Started with one of Adam Bernbachs porrons served by one of my oldest friends in DC, and one of the best bartenders, Alex Nichols. We had the Estrella/lemon soda porron, which is always amazing.  Just a tip, always wear a black shirt when planning on a day of drinking from a porron.
  • 1PM – Next stop Boqueria, which is really killing it right now. They found a miniature porron tucked away somewhere, which we had filled up with white sangria. Also had a glass of Txakolina.
  • 3PM – Ventured over to Jaleo, for no other reason than knowing they have a porron. Their white porron cocktail was listed as the same ingredients as the one we had at Estadio, yet it tasted stale, and a bit like shrimp stock. We ate some of their croquettas, which are now served in a glass sneaker for some reason. The shoe was badly chipped and razor sharp, and the laces had brown stains on them.  But the croquettas were good.
  • 7PM – Made dinner for my girlfriend and watched with opening ceremonies of the Olympics, she is from London, so she was obviously very into the ceremony. I made her Tikka Masala and mushy peas to make her feel at home. I drank 2 glasses of Chiani.