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Armed with a smart phone and an Instagram account, we thought we might be able to make DC101’s Chili Cookoff look like the Coachella of the East Coast.

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Move over Firefly and Sweetlife Festivals, there’s a new (old) fest in town. DC101’s Chili Cookoff may not have Animal Collective or Wild Flag playing their stages, but what could be yummier than Cake and Incubus? Don’t pretend that you hipsters didn’t listen to the shit out of these bands when you were growing up. Best Coast is for chumps.

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Returning to the site of the original Heavy Metal Parking Lot documentary of the 70’s, we…

Oh shit, queue up the Moldy Peaches. We didn’t spy the Michael Cera to this Ellen Page look-a-like, but running into Juno gave us the feeling that we might find a festival full of the forward fashionistas we favor. The bright, sunshine-y motif starts with the sunglasses and ends with the lemonade bottle. Complemented by a faux-lei, mardi gras beads and some sort of colored leopard print bikini top, along with that joyful smile, we were instantly put in a good mood. This soon-to-be mama is the text book definition of ‘glowing’.

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Next up we bumped into this cool cat.

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We’ve seen this look at festivals before. Short, short, short shorts. Accompanied by the fringed, leather backpack and the Keds flats, this cutie really makes the rockin’ world go round. Seriously, won’t you take me home tonight?

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Alright, just a side note. We can’t, for the life of us, figure out why D.C. icon Ian MacKaye would go out of his way to NOT license Fugazi merchandise, saying at one point: “We just want to put out records. The rest seems somewhat empty.”, and yet happily license Minor Threat t-shirts that are well thought out, well-designed and, in our humble opinion, fantastic. We’d absolutely wear one while jamming out to Fugazi’s song Merchandise. You are not what you own! You are not what you own! But you should look pretty fucking swell wearing what you own!

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Heavy Metal Parking Lot

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Recycling is pretty fashionable these days.

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Here’s where our sartorial lens begins to come into focus, though. You see, twenty six years doesn’t seem like an eternity as far as people’s fashion sense. 1986, this same exact spot was filled with Joes Sixpack and Sallies

Latin-influence permeating the cultural landscape of the Washington area. We asked this dapper gentleman where he picked up the charming hat and he mumbled something about an authentic Mexican Sombreroria in the winding back alleys of Mt. Pleasant, where the fine craft of making luxury straw goods has been passed down from generation to generation of local artisans. He took great pride in his hat and asked that I make sure to note that not only was the hat ‘fetch’ as he put it (Mean Girls what?), but also that it was functional as well. Amigo has been wearing the sombrero for over three years and his neck has shown nary a hint of redness. Who knew that Mexicans held the secret to keep gringos from becoming complete rednecks all along? Open those borders and let the free flow of goods help us settle our petty differences!

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And speaking of hats, these crafty bastards are selling their recycled beer case cowboy hats on ETSY.com and Austin, Texas boutique and vintage shops in a variety of styles and brands. What better way to rid the stench of a drunken Saturday night than to spend Sunday morning brunching and assembling Stetsons from the same beer-soaked boxes that carried the previous evening’s ….

We asked these dudes if they’ve started hitting the Craft Fair circuit yet and they responded that their too busy making the product to meet the demand of online sales to take their show on the road, and they are also opening ‘a cupcake store for men in the Georgetown area.

Ralph Lauren Ben Sherman

The U.S. Flag Code, section 4-(d) states: “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery….”

It’s been a common trend amongst the big fashion design houses to incorporate their company of origin into their lines. I’ve recently seen Ralph Lauren do it, not to mention LaCoste with the French Flag and Ben Sherman with the British Flag.

“Besides,” he lamented, “I picked this particular article of clothing not as a statement about freedom or democracy, but because of the slimming effects that stripes have on one’s figure.”

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We were quick to point out a recently published article in the Guardian around the science behind stripes.

Curious about the rise of sporting apparel in current fashion trends, we stooped down to ask this classy guy his thoughts on the matter and also if he was going to recycle all of his plastic. He opened his eyes and gave us the stink-eye, telling us that he was busy pulling off a stunt…

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But maybe this guy was onto something. It’s not planking, which we still don’t fully understand. Laying down on the dirty concrete and feigning illness at a Chili Cookoff is perhaps the new planking. Maybe we should call it Cookoffing. Whatever the case, we suddenly noticed that the fad was quite popular around the festival…

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